DM about to dangerously discharge

[DorsetCamping]

Apologies for the continuing saga but am at wits end.

To be brief DM (74) has been in hospital 3 times over the last month due to various conditions and the last admission being for 10 days and near deaths door. All pointing to her continuing decline and inability to cope independently.

She reluctantly agreed to go to a rehab unit last week and seemed to be making reasonable progress, no doubt due to be constantly monitored and with the 24/7 care.
Tentative Plans were being discussed for her to go home with an enhanced daily care package.

However, yesterday she had a fall, whereby her walking frame tipped and she banged her head. Thankfully she is ok but naturally it raised deeper concerns about her safety and needs when she goes home.

Onto this morning, she said she is self-discharging and that if I don't go and get her tomorrow she will call a taxi . Said that there is no way she is staying, hates it and is exhausted.
I have spoken to The nursing staff who are adamant that it is not safe for her to go home, especially with yesterday's fall and that her care package needs a new review. More worryingly is that no carers will even be available in the immediate future given COVID and calls on resource.
They have told DM all of this but she it's falling on deaf ears.

I am so cross her with, it's like dealing with a toddler. She has no clue about the worry this is causing or the implications with lockdown. All she keeps saying to the staff is that either I, or her elderly neighbours will help if need be.
I mean, WTF?!
They did ask me about her mental health as she seemed so low today but ultimately it is her decision.

I am so exhausted with her. All she is being asked to do it sit and recover - you'd think she was in a prison cell the way she goes on. I can pretty much guarantee that if she goes home tomorrow she will just end up in hospital again and we'll be back in the same merry go round.

Progress but sadness all round.

So glad things are finally moving for her.

@DorsetCamping

The psychiatrist saw her this evening and is gong to have DM sectioned. There are currently no MH beds available until Sunday so depending on whether they think she is stable until Sunday, may have to move her to an out of area unit.

Feel a bit shocked by the terminology but at least that means she should now start getting the right help.

I totally understand how you are feeling, the day my mum was sectioned I was devastated. I just never thought it would come to that. However, it is definitely the best thing in her interests. Once she is on the ward, she will be cared properly and treated. Is she staying in the same hospital? I hope you will be able to visit her.

Thank goodness she can now get the care and treatment she needs. I hope she settles and you are ok.

@DorsetCamping love, sectioning really, really helps.

If she has had psychiatric issues for a while, I can see how being out of her “safe zone” might have triggered her, the poor thing. You no doubt feel utterly terrible, but you really are doing the right thing for her physically and mentally. And for yourself, as you know she will be physically safe and her diabetes monitored, maybe her obesity slowly dealt with (it may also be symptomatic of her MH problems) and her hygiene needs attended to in a safe manner.

Thank you all so much for your support; no one in my close circle has any experience of dealing with this sort of thing so I am feeling a bit cast adrift. DB has his own issues to deal with so I try to limit how much I involve him.

It's so reassuring to read these posts and understand that she is in good hands, however worrying this is for everyone and she will get the help she needs.

Ratios of staff to patients was best ever in MH unit compared to everywhere my DM has been. Staff very appreciative of a thorough list of what she particularly liked for breakfast etc and how she wore her clothes, how often wire spectacles etc. She was even allowed her own duvet covers etc but might be one step too far in Covid times. We drew up a family tree diagram on PowerPoint with names and photos so staff could get to know her family situation. A bit extra but it helped to explain the ‘names’ when we weren’t around. Once she goes in take full advantage of some rest

Dorset just wanted to say how sorry I am that you have been pulled every which way while trying to get care for your mum. I hope she gets the help she needs 💐 Look after yourself. X

Thank you

No update as of yet or plan when she will be moved, everything is soooo slow.

Before DM became really unwell we had discussed me getting LPOA but of course that ship has now sailed. Does anyone know if applying for 'Deputy' is the next best course of action?

It can be very slow but you will get there. This information may be helpful for you, I would definately apply for deputyship if you can. I imagine she will be allocated a mental health social worker and depending on what Section she is under there is also discharge planning advice and support.
www.rethink.org/advice-and-information/rights-restrictions/mental-health-laws/mental-capacity-and-mental-illness/
www.mind.org.uk/information-support/legal-rights/leaving-hospital/overview/

My DM got an advocacy officer assigned to her as well as a social worker.
We applied via a solicitor to get legal aid for the guardianship application.
Whole process took 5 months.
Our situation was complicated by my DF dying while she was six weeks into section.

I was going to start the application for Deputy but sounds like I should hang fire until a SW/advocacy worker is assigned. Need to be sure I am applying for the right stewardship given that the MCA has been invoked.

So frustrating, wish we'd been more proactive about getting LPOA in place whilst she was capable of making decisions.

Is there anything urgent that needs doing with her finances ir the house that you might need help with.

As Rinse says, if she is under a section, she should be able to access an Independent Mental Health Advocate.

By the way, in an ideal world everyone should set up POA. There are cases where people have been eg in a coma after an accident, and their spouse has not been able to access funds as no POA set up.

The house had been put on the market because we realised at that point she would have to self-fund care fees.

Viewings are happening but of course we don't currently have the authority to agree a sale.

dorset Take a breath. It’s all happening at once for you. We are in Scotland so it won’t quite be identical but it will work out. Because she is sectioned her care is nhs so you won’t be paying at the moment. As soon as you make an application to the courts her address must remain constant. so she can’t be moved out to a care home funded by you.

@Rinsefirst

dorset Take a breath. It’s all happening at once for you. We are in Scotland so it won’t quite be identical but it will work out. Because she is sectioned her care is nhs so you won’t be paying at the moment. As soon as you make an application to the courts her address must remain constant. so she can’t be moved out to a care home funded by you.

Rinse not sure what 'her address needs to be constant' means?

She has to give an address of residence to the courts. The address will be Hospital A , Dorset. She can’t move to Care Home B, while the case is not concluded, she has to remain at address given.
She is therefore in the NHS hands until you get ‘ownership’ and OPG certification through.
This is not necessarily bad news.

Quick update and a positive one too!
DM has finally been moved to the on-site psychiatric unit. It's a shame it took from sectioning her on Friday until today to actually get her off the ward but there we are, she's gone.

Hopefully now the assessment and treatment she needs can finally start

@DorsetCamping

Quick update and a positive one too! DM has finally been moved to the on-site psychiatric unit. It's a shame it took from sectioning her on Friday until today to actually get her off the ward but there we are, she's gone.

Hopefully now the assessment and treatment she needs can finally start

That's great news, what a relief for you. You know she is safe and in the best hands to treat her. Are you allowed to visit her?

That’s great news. It’s entirely possible that with treatment her capacity may improve and she comes out of section. Sending best wishes

i haven't RTFT but are you sure it's not some form of dementia.

i'm pleased for you she's been sectioned at last and hope they come up with some solid diagnosis and care/treatment plan for her.
in my experience and as already mentioned on here, there comes a point when you have to advise them that they're on their own if they won't cooperate with care plans and so forth, telling everyone that you'll sort them out won't be happening. i've been through this a few times now with aunts uncles in laws and my mother and it doesn't get any easier. it's how hard you as the daughter/niece have to push back at social services that amazes me and how SS will lie through their teeth good luck going forward whatever the outcome is.