Registering as carer for elderly parent

[LilacTree1]

Hi everyone

Has anyone done this and is a carer’s visit essential? What happens if you have work and just want to be officially recognised as their carer but not claim any allowance?

Really grateful for any advice you can offer. Thank you.

What do you mean by a carers visit?!

When I look it up, it says that a carer would visit to ascertain mum’s needs. So I thought that meant they would judge whether she needs care or not. Reality is a bit more complex as she has heart condition which makes her health vary, so on a good day, might seem okay.

I don’t want to claim any money, just to be recognised as her carer.

Hopeful bump

OP, do you mean that a carer would visit, or do you mean that someone from the local authority would visit to conduct a carer's assessment? That's an assessment of the carer's needs.

A carer's assessment is separate from a needs assessment for the person being cared for - if you want to establish your DM's needs, you should ask the council for a needs assessment for her. They'll only be doing urgent ones at the moment though, obviously.

I think it depends on why you want to be recognised as her carer that will determine the steps you'll need to take. For example, different organisations have different procedures for proving you're a carer (e.g. for free carer's entry tickets to assist the person,, etc), but AFAIK there's no official carer's register outside of things like carer's allowance.

Logines, thank you

I would like to be registered as he carer so I’m allowed to go to her house. I fear lockdown will be on and off. I think I should be allowed to go, do her laundry, shopping etc.

If the police stop me on the Tube, I will have no way to prove she needs me and they’ll ask why a neighbour or carer can’t do it. Hence, we’d like official recognition of being her carer.

I have asked my MP for advice and got nothing. We are stuck. It seems insane that she could call a cleaning company but not have me do it.

I had no idea a carer would get an assessment of their needs! Can I ask for chocolate ?! 😂

you can just go n the tube and care for her, you are overthinking this.

The advice allows you to be out and helping vulnerable or elderly people - I don't think you need to be an official Carer? Lots of people
Locally are doing others shopping / getting prescriptions etc just to be neighbourly and aren't recognised as carers.

Marvel my sister has been moved on in the park for looking at flowers

The Tube is saying “don’t use unless you are a key worker” and police went to stations to check.

I can’t afford a fine or criminal record. If they check up on us, at the moment her doctor will say “no official requirements for care”. Her neighbours do her shooing and prescriptions and have offered to do laundry.

So I think the police would tell me it’s non essential. They’ve done a good job of terrifying everyone. Mum keeps saying no because she’s scared of legal repercussions too. And look what happened to that man in Birmingham. We are brown, which won’t help either.

I think you have your wires crossed a bit. There’s no need for you to do anything. I’m caring for a family member. I go in daily to help her cook, clean, do washing & ironing. I also do her shopping. I am not officially designated as her carer but I took over from her care agency to reduce the number of people she comes into contact with for the moment. Her neighbours know I go in daily. No one is interested. It’s not an issue.

X post Fusion, thanks

Local people, yes. But I’d be using two Tube lines. I mean, if a man gets pepper sprayed taking food to his mum in a car, how do we really manage this?

Gosh, I feel tearful. I don’t know what to do, I feel really desperate and mum is completely isolated.

I’m properly blobbing now
She’ll die before they lift this bloody lockdown.

Blubbing
Autocorrect

funmummy how do you get there?

What does your mum need done? Can she feed herself? wash? is she mobile?
Is she genuinely in need of help or are you overly worrying?
If you feel she needs help then go and help
help her, if questioned explain you are caring for an elderly person.

JKScot “ Can she feed herself? wash? is she mobile?”

Yes, she can do all these things.

Laundry and cleaning are a struggle.

We just wondered if some sort of official carer designation, ideally a paper than be shown to police, would mean I could get to see and help her.

She’s been saying that she thinks a cleaning agency wouldn’t send someone while we are on lockdown anyway?

We would like to speak to her GP but he’ll be furious at being bothered about something that’s not corona related.

The GP will not be furious , what gives you that idea , people have repeatedly been told that if they need medical services for non related things then they can access them . However it does sound like your mum is perfectly capable just isolated , if all she needs help with is laundry and cleaning then I think it’s more a case of you want to be able to go see her rather than her actually needing you IYSWIM . Lots of people are in the same boat OP with elderly parents who live alone , it’s hard but you are not an exception .

Floral we’re not asking the GP a medical question though.

At what point is there a health issue crossing over with hygiene, in terms of cleaning and laundry, I wonder.

I admit freely, we are seeking an official route to see each other. Lockdown may go on and off for a very long time. She could get a cleaner in the meantime but it should just be me, surely.

She has other elderly friends who have cleaners in.

The law allows you to provide assistance to a vulnerable person. She would definitely qualify as that (if she’s over 70 then she is automatically defined as such regardless of health).

I would suggest you get her to sign a letter confirming that she requires your assistance, attaching some medical evidence if she has it, although not essential, and you keep that on you when you travel.

Technically if your sister was looking at flowers they were right to move her on. They would not be right to stop you travelling.

Deanetta, I could try that but she’s terrified of the police knocking on the door

My sister doesn’t live in London, I think it’s a bit mad if you can’t stop on a walk just to look at flowers in a quiet park or woodland.

I think you need to reassure your mum that the police will not fine her, it’s you who may be asked and it’s allowed for you to care for her.

There is no facility to ‘register’ as a carer just as there is no facility to be ‘registered disabled’. You are already free to provide care to your DM if she needs it.

There is some guidance on the gov websites for "informal carers" which I think covers this

I am similarly anxious that my elderly parents neighbours are going to call the police on me but if they do I will just explain. I think they will be understanding. It's a bit simpler for me though as dad does have Alzheimer's

I think the messaging on the tube about essential workers only is very unhelpful as people also need to travel to work if they can’t wfh or to help vulnerable people.