Advice needed - elderly lady keeps falling for scams

[Em8725]

Hi everyone

I have an elderly relative in my family who no one bothers with except for me. I went to visit her, and found she had fallen prey to her another scam - 4th one in a 12 month period I think.

Thankfully this wasn’t for much, but was a monthly direct debit. I phoned the “company” and got it cancelled but also went into her bank and got it cancelled there too just in case.

This was to take out an insurance premium on an appliance she doesn’t own. I’ve emailed the company, and asked for more information about what it was she’s managed to insure, as no one seemed to be able to tell me on the phone. This was South West Repairs.

They seem to be a legit company but they aren’t regulated which I thought they had to be - I could be wrong though.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can keep her safe? Is there any way I can block these calls from happening in the first place?

I’ve repeatedly told her not to give out her bank details over the phone, and I’ve told the bank that she’s vulnerable and they need to speak to her in person if she’s setting up direct debits, or if they notice unusual activity then please phone her and get her to explain.

I’m also setting up power of attorney over her finances so I can help prevent it in the future/deal with it more easily if it happens again.

Thankyou. I guess this is both a warning about how convincing these people can be - she’s been in tears that she was taken in again, and a plea for help, I’m worrying so much about her.

Bumping slightly. Have you tried any charities? There was an article on you & yours about this but it was a few years ago. Hope you get something in place. You're a wonderful person.

Thankyou, I wouldn’t even know where to start with charities but I’ll start searching - and see if I can find that article.

Age UK (formerly Age Concern) has this page on scams: www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/scams-fraud/
Your local Citizens Advice may also be able to help, but getting power of attorney is a good first start, plus maybe getting a phone that blocks unknown numbers?

@exexpat Thankyou for the link, I might print it for her to have a read through.

I’ve just found the TPS and signed her up to that, but I know it’s not going to completely stop them. I was thinking about getting her a mobile instead of using the landline - she pays for that via a company I’ve never heard of.

It’s frustrating because she is so capable in so many ways, and is very good at bills and paying things, and could point out people in front of her she can’t trust, she just can’t seem to grasp that not everyone on the phone is official!

I’m assuming this isn’t your mum, OP, but if you get this thread moved to the Elderly Parents topic, you may get helpful advice? Well done for stepping up to help your relative. She sounds very vulnerable to these horrible scams.

I heard a You & Yours programme about this too - and possibly one on Moneybox, not sure. It’s very alarming how utterly convinced a person can become that they’re doing the right thing in investing in scam schemes. They can be incredibly hard to dissuade ☹️

Has she registered with the TPS? There’s a call blocking thing you can hook up too, not sure on the name, and I’m sure some phones have it built in now too. Obviously they don’t fix it permanently but if it filtered out some of them it might help. Age UK might be a good start point charity wise.

Her local trading standards may well have a scams package and kit for her including a phone call blocking thing.

Can you get her phone number changed? She may be on a list somewhere that's getting passed round dodgy companies.

OP - I cross-posted with you but was going to say that a phone that screens out unknown numbers would be a good idea.

My elderly mother is registered with the TPS and it does nothing to limit the flood of calls from overseas - they’re not regulated here so they just carry on calling. She’s plagued by them but at least most are silent calls or hang-ups rather than scams. She does get the ‘we are HMRC/BT and you need to call this number or be fined/cut off’ though. I’m going to buy her one of the phones that screen calls. There have been threads about on here but I can’t immediately recall what it’s called, apologies.

shop.bt.com/products/bt4600-premium-nuisance-call-blocker---single-084665-BY4H.html?utm_content=RR00&gclid=CjwKCAiAnfjyBRBxEiwA-EECLKkxSWcksJBHLK6AfEo6VmbFWUOSdFWI72TSSiX72G7Y6CRL3vqnvBoCuAEQAvD_BwE this is quite good, but does take a bit of setting up. Has reduced the spam calls considerably.

Sorry, meant to say it's a phone that can filter and block unwanted phone calls. The link is to the BT website.

@Halsall sorry I’m a bit unfamiliar with all the different topics, how can I get this moved?

Thankyou, we are going to get her a mobile today so she can unplug the landline. She’s phoned me again this morning in tears as she’s had 4 calls this morning already. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

@sycamoretrees Thankyou I’ll check that out

Something similar happened in my family.
Relative with POA took the bank cards and cheque book. The elderly relative wouldn't have agreed with this at first but it was suggested after a fraud and a visit from victim support. POA relative now do all the finances.
If you think it's fraud then you can report to action fraud.
I'd suggest setting up online banking for their accounts and checking every week. Try and claim any payments back that she doesn't recognise.

@cupoftea84 I think this is what I’m going to do. I’ve got all her bank statements at the moment, to organise and go through to check each payment out. I don’t want to do it to monitor what she spends everything on, just to make sure each payment checks out.

I’ll officially hold POA in a couple of weeks, so I won’t do online banking until then. It’s taken a long time to earn my relatives trust - which is what doesn’t make sense. She trusts absolutely no one usually!

My exes nan used to give people cash if they showed up on her doorstep and offered to do work she gave someone £600 to do her driveway and never saw them again 🤦‍♀️ she allowed her neighbour's to use her driveway as she didnt have a car but when she had visitors they would kick off about her visitors using "their" parking in the end she sold her house and moved closer so the family could keep an eye on her

Hi OP, sorry you are in this situation, it’s really horrible. An elderly relative has the BT phone where only numbers preprogrammed into the phone get through (could be the one linked above) which has really helped. TPS is useless. We also organised power of attorney though as they still have charlatans knocking on their door offering to clean their gutters etc for extortionate amounts. We also left a stack of my cousins business cards and so anyone who comes to the door gets given one and asked to call him about any work. So far he hasn’t had one call. I honestly think there are target lists. It’s really disgusting the lengths we have to go to to protect elderly people.

If she is anything like my elderly parents, she may find a mobile phone hard to get the hang of. An alternative might be to change her phone number, make sure it is ex-directory (my parents still have their number listed and wonder why they keep getting calls...) and only give it out to people who actually need it, plus get a call-blocker. I still have a landline (unlisted) and get very few scam calls compared to my parents.

The only issue with a lot of the call-blockers as far as I am aware is that they may block all withheld numbers, and calls from many GPs and hospitals show up as number withheld.

I work with older people - lots of them find mobile phones very hard to use. Touch screens almost impossible especially if they have never had a mobile before.

The regular charging can also be difficult (getting the charger in to the phone also fiddly)

Try going for a very simple big buttoned mobile.

I have the BT phone where only stored numbers come straight through and the rest they have to announce themselves. We never get junk calls now and although the Drs show as with held, they are fine announcing themselves.

My dad gets the scam calls all the time and they cause him a huge amount of worry, but I have now got him to tell everyone that he can't hear and to write to him which genuine people do - and it makes things clearer anyway as he does struggle on the phone

My elderly parents tell people they don't have control of their accounts and everything needs to be in writing to be passed to me. Totally untrue but it makes things much easier.

She has a simple mobile at the moment and does use it when she’s out and about but the numbers are too small for her now, she’s finding them trickier to see, so I’m looking for something cheap and bigger buttoned.

It really is vile that we have to go to these lengths, I too think there must be some sort of list for the vulnerable that these people target.

I’ve also found out she’s recently paid a tradesperson to fit a round doorknob on her bathroom and he’s left it so the door doesn’t close! I have his phone number and will be arranging for him to come back for free and fix it and I’ll be blocking his phone number from her phone if I can!

It’s such a struggle because she isn’t exactly close to me, but I try to visit once a week. It really infuriates me actually. She lives on a sheltered accommodation site and the manager is absolutely useless. Our solicitor is thinking about contacting the managing company.

I agree with getting the BT call minder phone. It worked a treat for my elderly MIL.

@whathappenedthen does she need to be with BT to use it? Sorry for the silly questions!

I have lots of vulnerable patients on my caseload, and sadly they preyed on by scammers.

I would suggest that if she has already had 4 calls this morning she is on a list that it being sold with her details, once you have fallen for 1 scam that makes it more likely you will be contacted with others. At the very least her phone number needs changing.

I would also suggest a call blocking service there are many out there and lots of my patients have them, all unrecognised numbers are screen and the caller has to announce who they are.

I'm not sure a mobile is the way forward as many of my patients really struggle with them.

Round here our PCSOs are very good with vulnerable people who fall victim to rogue traders and conmen. They sometimes go out and talk to them and offer advice. Might she listen to one of them, do you think? You’ll find their contact details under her local neighbourhood policing team.

No need to have a BT landline to use the BT call blocker phone. You do need to have called ID enabled on the line, free with some providers, others a small monthly charge.