Advice needed - elderly lady keeps falling for scams

[Em8725]

Hi everyone

I have an elderly relative in my family who no one bothers with except for me. I went to visit her, and found she had fallen prey to her another scam - 4th one in a 12 month period I think.

Thankfully this wasn’t for much, but was a monthly direct debit. I phoned the “company” and got it cancelled but also went into her bank and got it cancelled there too just in case.

This was to take out an insurance premium on an appliance she doesn’t own. I’ve emailed the company, and asked for more information about what it was she’s managed to insure, as no one seemed to be able to tell me on the phone. This was South West Repairs.

They seem to be a legit company but they aren’t regulated which I thought they had to be - I could be wrong though.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can keep her safe? Is there any way I can block these calls from happening in the first place?

I’ve repeatedly told her not to give out her bank details over the phone, and I’ve told the bank that she’s vulnerable and they need to speak to her in person if she’s setting up direct debits, or if they notice unusual activity then please phone her and get her to explain.

I’m also setting up power of attorney over her finances so I can help prevent it in the future/deal with it more easily if it happens again.

Thankyou. I guess this is both a warning about how convincing these people can be - she’s been in tears that she was taken in again, and a plea for help, I’m worrying so much about her.

Thankyou so much for all the advice everyone, I’m going to take it on board and try lots of avenues to find one that works. I’m going to try ringing her provider today to see what they can do, aswell as purchasing a bt phone will the screening.

I’ve reiterated to her about asking people to write to her instead, or simply to write to me and I’ll deal with it. We’ve got a genuinely lovely solicitor who enjoys helping the elderly for free and would have absolutely no trouble in sending letters to people that are harassing her.

The bank (she’s well known in her local branch) are going to ask a few questions when she comes in to withdraw money, and have put notes on her account that she’s vulnerable and ill.

I’ve also spoken to the warden again and explained the situation, and the cowboy builder who is coming back to fix the door when I’m there.

I know that elderly people take a lot of helping, I’ve also got two young children and a part time job, she’s running me ragged more than the rest of it put together!

Thankyou, I do really appreciate it.

Sorry, @Em8725, I haven't been able to log in for a bit - but if you just hit the 'report' button above your last message, that will alert MN and you can fill in the message box asking them to move your thread to the Elderly Parents topic, if you still want to. They should do it pretty swiftly. It's well worth taking a look there anyway for some very clued-up people who've been through a lot with vulnerable family members.

But there's been lots of good advice from others on here. You're doing a great thing in helping to protect your relative.

something cheap and bigger buttoned. Have a look at Doro6030.

You can use the phone above with any landline provider as long as you have caller display. You can set it so ‘known’ callers come straight through and unknown callers have to leave their details before the handset will ring. You can also block specific types of calls eg witheld or international. It should be less stressful as many scam callers don’t want to leave evidence of their call (ie recording their name so that it can be played to your relative before she answers) ...if they don’t leave their details the handset won’t even ring.

Thanks all, her weird provider offer the caller display thing that we need. I’ll order that BT phone ASAP!

On the mobile front I found a fabulous mobile for anyone that might need it so I’ll pop the link here. The doro was a good suggestion, but I think this one may be the winner. No fiddly wires as mentioned upthread, and the SOS button can be programmed to me so there’s another added feature there. She has a button she’s supposed to wear around her neck in case of emergency (she has breathing difficulties sometimes) but absolutely refuses. This could be a good compromise.

www.amazon.co.uk/Denver-Button-GSP-120-Senior-Unlocked-UK/dp/B07952MW4Y?pf_rd_p=1555bce2-0515-5c86-947a-7531e70a0a1b&pf_rd_r=D5S2K225HY4P0HX6H4RZ&pf_rd_s=mobile-hybrid-11&pf_rd_t=BROWSE_ANYWHERE&ref_=mh_s9_apbd_omg_b35SnbL&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&pf_rd_i=2829144031

and the SOS button can be programmed to me I suspect this may be a common feature of SOS buttons - the Doro one successively rings a list of numbers until someone answers. So if I'm not available, DH or DS will pick up.

Oh I didn’t see that in the description! I’m honestly exhausted by it all. I’ve been looking out for her for 4 years now, when I was heavily pregnant I was helping her move in and out of her house due to a huge insurance job whilst dealing with literally everything to do with that. I feel like I haven’t had time to take a breath which sounds extreme I know.

thoughts:

• obviously she needs the landline for the fall alarm system. Would be worth checking the bill, as if she has been with 'company you've never heard of' for more than a year they will probably be charging rip off rates that would make BT blush.
• no point changing the number, all numbers are now recycled and will be on some scammers database. Call Guardian or a cheaper call blocker are the way to go.
• if she is getting the maddening automated calls, they will make her life hell for a few days and then stop provided that she does not pick up. Call blockers are the only way to stop these. It isn't even as if you can shout at the scum on the other end.

hope matters improve.

Thanks, I’ve checked her statements and it seems to be £20-23.50 a month consistently so doesn’t seem too bad, it’s just not a company I’d heard of before. I will still call to check out when these rates end as I’ve seen a good deal with BT that might be better. She is tied in for some amount of time but can’t remember when it finishes.

I agree with not changing the phone number. I am waiting on a delivery of the new phone so she can just answer calls she recognises or is expecting.

I’m also getting her into the habit of asking them to write to her instead.

Power of attorney is being finalised next week. Does anyone know if it’s relatively straightforward to set up with utility companies?

Does anyone know if it’s relatively straightforward to set up with utility companies? You don't necessarily need to set it up with utility companies until you come to change supplier. Utility companies don't care where the money comes from, and if it's from her bank account, it's the bank that needs to accept you as attorney. I didn't do anything till I wanted to change suppliers, one company was happy to talk to me on my say-so, the other wanted me to send an electronic copy of the document - since I had already scanned it, I was able to send it and have them accept me as attorney all in the course of the same phone call.

Hi op , sorry if this has been mentioned but contact friends against scammers. They provide a call block machine and send an engineer to fit it free of charge.

Thanks @MereDintofPandiculation this is all new to me. That’s really helpful, hopefully I can pop in to the branch as soon as it’s sorted and get that done.

@Smelly50 that’s amazing Thankyou I’ll look into it

www.friendsagainstscams.org.uk/where-to-get-help

Here is a website above, which can give you some help. I don't know where your based but if you contact the Citizens Advice Consumer Service 03454 04 05 06 they can make a referral to Trading Standards to ask for further assistance. Depending on your local service you may be able to get her a free tru call machine (call blocker) and also an officer may visit to chat about scams. They may also be able to help with the handy man. The tru call machines are very good you can put an option in to block all calls accept for authorised numbers (and the blocked calls are given a message to contact someone to be given access).

Hope you get her some help and assistance. I visited numerous elderly over the years that have fallen for scam calls and mailing. If your struggling to get help pm me and I can try to point you in the right direction x

@Lobo Thankyou ever so much, I really do appreciate it

Hi everyone, a quick update and to thank you again for your advice. It took some time negotiating out of her previous contract but my Nan is fully set up now with BT and call guardian. It’s made the world of difference. They’re also letting me handle all the billing and letting me know when numbers have been blocked etc even though I’m still not yet POA.
Everything was hugely delayed with coronavirus but hopefully that’ll be set up by August at the latest. Things have been so much better now, and Nans confidence has increased now she knows she is letting trusted people through to her phone.

My friend's father in law fell for so many of these. They were told his name and details were probably on a "Mugs List" that these scammers sold to each other.

Sounds like you are hopefully getting there with this lady's situation. Thank you so much for helping her ❤

The only things I know which might add to the thread for anybody searching for a similar situation are;

The pendant alarms - not uncommon for old ladies to not want to wear them, or if they are wearing one to not want to press the button begets they didn't want to be a burden on anybody

I see they are doing watch strap buttons - i think they're intended for men, but she may feel differently about wearing it on her wrist?

Big buttoned simple and extra loud phones and mobile phones - try disability suppliers. The watch strap button i mentioned is on NRS healthcare's website.

I still think it's worth considering changing her number because the scammers who know the new recycled scammers may have a) given up if it's been out of circulation for a while or b) at least not be the type who go after elderly people, so it may give some reprieve along with the other approaches.

Good luck