Dm cant entertain self

[bellalou1234]

Hello,
I dont know how to stop this. My dm is 71 very active, likes to go out, socialise holidays ect. However i am her main source of these activities which i find draining. This week i have four days of work as i work long shift hours, she phoned on my first day of stating we need to go abroad, when i said no i have a partner and other commitments, she says i have no life in.
Shell ring up on my days off and say where are we going today, then if we dont do anything im boring, other people go places ect...
Im so annoyed all i want to do today is have a day in potterting around and shes guilted me into spending the day with her.
I know i need to be firm but its so hard and i so guilty.

Send her off on a very long Saga cruise a nice 28 day one.....give yourself a break....she will meet lots of people in her situation and make new friends x

I had no idea that U3A was dumbed down and not university level!

The more you post the worse she sounds! You really need to say no and mean it. I've had to learn to say no to my mother, I'm 59 ! Lol
The guilt trips dont work as well on me now. In fact I've just told her I'm not going to a family gathering next week because another family member who's not talking to me will be there. It makes it so awkward!
Chatting to a friend about it today made me realise that I dont have to do what she wants. I can make my own decisions! Good luck OP

I tended to go for a weeks holiday with my dm every year and it worked out well, but not all the time!

Norwegian cruises have an adults only lounge for single people x

U3A is really just an umbrella organisation that offers lots of clubs. Any thing at all:
Flower arranging
Yoga
Learning a language
Bridge
WAlking
Learning guitar
Tennis
Cinema
Crochet
Calligraphy
Hand bell ringing
Singing
Cooking
Trips/sightseeing
Theatre
Debating
Chess

Just a selection from the U3A my DM attends. People are encouraged to start their own club if there's something they fancy.

I don’t know if people are being sarcastic about U3A not being university level, but if anyone wants to go to university they can go to an actual university, don’t think there are age limits.

U3A in not only not university level, it's not a university.
No one is being sarcastic. It's a fantastic organisation and a great way to make friends.

www.u3a.org.uk/

if anyone wants to go to university who can afford £9000 a year on top of their living expenses (and their extra living expenses if their local university doesn't do their chosen subject) they can go to an actual university, don’t think there are age limits.

Most of us aren't in that situation.

And even if we are, if there's any hint we may require care in the future there's deprivation of asset to think about.

It's a fantastic organisation and a great way to make friends. but it isn't what it was originally suggested it could be, a place where people with high level knowledge could share their knowledge with others, somewhere where you could pursue interests at a higher level than was catered for in any other way. Rather, it has replaced the old adult education classes.

But the reason I posted And despite the name standing for "University of the 3rd Age", it is not university level, far from it. was to make sure that anyone who felt university level was a bit challenging for their elder, that it really was a lot more accessible than that.