Paying for a care home

[MrsWobble3]

My mil has Alzheimer’s and is currently cared for at home. She is running out of money so I think we will need to move her into a care home and sell her house to pay the fees. The problem is that her house is unmortgageable so could take some time to sell. How does she pay the care home fees during this period if she has no money but has assets (the house) over £23k? She cannot borrow money as the house is not acceptable security.

My mil has Alzheimer’s and is currently cared for at home. She is running out of money so I think we will need to move her into a care home and sell her house to pay the fees. You don't need to move her into a care home because she's running out of money, the LA will take over. They'll means test, but the value of her house won't be included while she's still living in it.

If you move her into a care home because her needs are getting more severe, then the value of the house will be taken into account, but someone's explained above that they can put a charge on it so they don't claim the money until the house is sold.

I am in my 60s and looked after 4 elderly people (PIL and Parents) with complex needs, mental and physical, for a period of 15 years. Eventually they all went into care homes, all self funding, using all their savings, pension, assets, we kept one tiny bungalow by renting it out.
None of the 4 elderly people in question ever needed to care for there own parents because they didn't live that long.
We have to do all this care work while simultaneously working and looking after our own families.
My own health and my sister's health is utterly destroyed by it all.

I didn't express myself very well by saying you can get away without care fees by leaving it to another member of the family. What was meant is that some people will just leave all the work and caring to another family member, raise objections about carers and care homes and selling houses, never visit the parent (but will often rock up at the hospital or home to put in complaints to show they "care") as one of other family members is prepared to give up their time and often health to do the caring.
As for giving cash away - early, and in small frequent doses may be the only way.

Thanks for all the replies. I think my sil is coming to terms with the need to sell the house so that’s one issue resolved. We are going to start looking for a suitable care home with a view to moving mil at some point in the next 12 months and then selling the house. I’m interested in the reply from MereDint that the LA might take over the costs of caring for her at home - given it’s a lot more expensive than a care home I had thought they would want to move her. In any case, the house needs a lot of money spent on it so she’s going to have to move anyway and I don’t particularly want to undo the work in getting Sil to agree. It’s been reassuring to find that the LA will pay and reclaim when the house sells so we don’t have the worry of having to find an immediate buyer so thanks again for that.

I’m interested in the reply from MereDint that the LA might take over the costs of caring for her at home - given it’s a lot more expensive than a care home I had thought they would want to move her. That's probably correct, they will want the cheapest solution that meets her needs. She's clearly getting a high level of care at home if it's totting up to £800 a week or so. But it might be worth asking - it seems that every time an elderly person is moved, their cognitive skills take another leap downward.

I'm coming late to this thread. But please ask LA to assess your DM's needs and please ask their advice on their local care home fees if their assessment shows she requires that, as it is not always the case that LA will agree to short term loan at the rate of the bed at the home you've chosen against the property . They have very strict complex criteria and it still comes out of their budget, so if you pick a home hugely more than their fees and the home isn't worth that much, you might have trouble getting interim loan funding for full amount. Some care homes will negotiate to LA rate whilst it is LA interim funded.

*NB Terms have changed but it's easier to explain it in old terms.