Such a fucking mess!

[IrianOfW]

Dad is in hospital at the moment. He went into have bladder stones removed. He has Parkinsons and is almost entirely deaf. He's 87. He's now been in there for 11 days, has some sort of infection that they can't diagnose, had a fall (not the nurses's fault at all). My brother stayed with my mum for 6 days when he went into hospital expecting dad to come out after 3 days as was expected. DBro had to go home. Meanwhile my mum had a fall and has hurt her very arthritic hip to the extent that she is finding getting about is difficult. When she visits dad she had to park at the other end of the site and walk which is almost impossible for her. I have been in to see dad many times since he had been in, with and without mum.

I arranged for someone to come and discuss care for my dad at home when he is released. Apparently money isn't an option according to my dad but I am not sure if he realises how much it will cost. And of course now my mum is more or less hors de combat.

I have a full-time job, a depressed DH, a 22 year old son suffering from GAD and a 16 year old on the autistic spectrum approaching his GCSEs.

i don't know what to do or where to turn.

Help!

Local Social Services - ring them and use some buzz words, e.g. vulnerable adults, bed blocking, social care needs assessment, carers' assessment, NHS continuing care funding. Just scare the shit out of them - blind them with your knowledge of the system. Or...." I really do not know what they are entitled to - I think I will have a chat with my solicitor for some advice" - the word solicitor works like a charm - I speak as an ex-social worker.

I think (!) it can only be registered when they have lost capacity, which is rather bizarre as I think they have to sign it. No, it can be registered (with the Office of Public Guardian) as soon as you make it (mine was registered, but obviously isn't being used, though it doesn't have to be. One call tell whether it has been, because they put a stamp on it.

They aren't bed blocking if they have been discharged!

OP's Dad is in hospital. So bed blocking is a relevant phrase - SSD can get fined for this.

Tuesday 11.23:
Dad came out on Thursday, mum came out on Friday.

Hi folks, sorry for the radio silence. Been a bit busy. Since mum came home, my eldest son fell while skateboarding and dislocated his knee and Ddog was diagnosed with pancreatitis. You really couldn't make it up :)

They are both doing well. Mum is now contemplating paying for a hip replacement at Nuffield as although the worst of the pain is over the existing arthritis is still a problem. Dad much happier and looking better.

Thanks for all your advice x