Private nursing

[ChilliChipolatas]

Has anyone used private nurses for care of a parent? My mum needs full time palliative care as she is unable to walk (among other things), we are at a loss as to where to go from here. We know we need more help, we already have carers coming in 3 times a day and a district nurse, but because she can’t be left alone we are unable to go back to work or care for our own families. Any advice or recommendations would be fab, thanks.

Does she actually need nursing, or does she need a full time carer with the addition of the district nurse to do things beyond giving prescribed medicine?

Has the community palliative care team got any advice? Tbh she may need a nursing home.

24/7 nursing care in her own home would be phenomenally expensive.

I would think if she can't be left alone at all and carers three times a day is insufficient then you may need to consider a care home or nursing home, depending on her needs.

My grandad is 93 and until recently was at home with a decent care package, but was increasingly vulnerable and lonely and was yo-yoing in and out of hospital, which increased his confusion and distress. He is now in a wonderful home and is like a new man - he's gained weight, hasn't been admitted to hospital and enjoys the social interaction with the carers and other residents despite his dementia and poor health.

Thanks for your responses, we’ve been told she only has a matter of months but she wants to be at home with her dogs. She does has money in the bank, but you are right it’s not actually a private nurse we need it is probably a carer who can be with her while we are at work. I just don’t know where to start to look for one.

'She wants to be at home with her dogs'

Does she want this even if it means some of you losing your jobs or homes?

Talk to the community palliative team urgently (this afternoon?) and ask if there is a social worker you can contact to advise you. Depending on her diagnosis, I would also ring a charity helpline.

In terms of where to start, then contact local agencies who say they do palliative care at home services - like [[https://www.rightathomeuk.co.uk/worcester-to-malvern/the-services-we-offer/our-specialist-care/end-life-care/ this]] one (I've never used them, its just an example) and talk to them about what they can provide and what it will cost. It will take time to set up as usually it needs three carers to provide 24 hour care.

Are you claiming attendance allowance and continuing care funding for your mum?

Annandale, it won’t come to that, we hope to have care in place in a week or so, our workplaces are being understanding, so far.
I don’t begrudge her wanting to be at home for her final days at all, just need to implement the systems to help. The palliative care team are fab, but obviously can’t be here all the time.

Yes she has had had attendance allowance for a little while now.
Thanks for your help

We did for gran for a couple of months till she could move to a special home. In a different country so can't help you with which company. Gran had money stashed away so we used that for her needs. They were fabulous and very reliable. Once there wasn't one of her regulars available so they called us to warn that it would be a different nurse this time. Granny was fine with changes thankfully as long as people were nice to her. They were and she was quite happy with them. It meant less worry for us.

Our local county council have a care helpline who can offer contacts- not regulated but they can help. Your local hospice may offer care at home too.

Some homes allow pets as part of the persons' care plan. Do you think she might be open to that if you can't find adequate care for her at home?

You don't define her needs, I mean not being able to walk tells us nothing. I always took it that palliative care basically means 'this is where we kill you off' and while one neurologist I met took issue with this, on the very same hospital noticeboard palliative care was mentioned in terms of someone having weeks or days to live. So frankly put your mum in a nursing home and they won't mess about if you mention palliative care, you'll be booking a funeral before you know it.

I mean, if it's only months she could pay a family member to keep an eye? I'm afraid I can't recommend home care because it seems the Govt is discouraging that, the idea is self-funding people like your mother pay to subsidise a care home and keep it financially viable, not spend it in their own family home.