Christmas Holiday away with elderly in laws

[IrishPixie]

Mumsnet

Talk Elderly

Help!

Firstly I do not get on with my In laws. Especially not my father in law. I am 38, they are in their late 70s.

We booked to go away (me, my husband and the 3 kids) this Christmas and they have booked the same place !!! So we are in our own accommodations but a stones throw from each other!

They will expect us to provide the Xmas day and boxing day dinners. They won't contribute financially, they won't help with preparation, the certainly won't help clear up afterwards and they will spend the whole afternoon sleeping and snoring in our lounge. And this is just the 2 main days! The rest of the week they will be popping over (no doubt empty handed) for morning coffee and afternoon tea and cake.

My father in law is deaf so I will spend the whole time repeating myself and dying of boredom from his never ending conversations regarding motorbikes and gardening.

My kids, age 10, 8 and 6 aren't that fond of them and are already asking me why we have to go on holiday with Nanna and Gramps and it's still only your August !

I am dreading it all !

Loving all the recommendations to boo lunch out. Christmas lunch at a posh pub, the best are fully booked now, is usually at least £60 per head, no or negligible reduction for children so for the pop's family that's about £400!

It doesn't have to be the best! Some of the local pubs around me are taking bookings now and it won't be near that price. It won't be caviare and stuffed peacocks' ears but it'll be hot and good!

Sometimes it's worth not going posh just to go somewhere where someone else does the cooking and the washing up.

I think I'm going to do this.......

1. go ahead with the holiday as planned.
2. cook the meal, enjoy it and clear away after.
3. be the dutiful DIL and then tell my husband this will NEVER happen again and I would sooner spend Xmas on my own with a pot noodle than spend another Xmas wirh his family.

It's not like he can argue I've (we've) not done our fair share!

You are a kinder person than me OP.

What will your husband be doing this Christmas to accommodate HIS parents?

Why would you do this? You need to say something now- you already have done your duty.

If you allow this to happen, they will simply include themselves in any alternative plans you make for the next however many years.

I'm sorry op but please get a backbone. It's September tomorrow- still plenty of time for them to get their head around it.

Have you said anything to your husband at all?

OP please don't as I fear for you this will always be the last year.

Your children are getting older so won't spend Christmas Day with you forever. If one of your PIL were to pass or become ill next year this may be used as an excuse why they must continue to spend it with you.