Hello ladies (and any lurking gents!)
Thank you for your lovely supportive posts. I'm feeling a bit better - I probably just needed time to process everything. (Though I'm still going to find a counsellor to have a jolly good whinge at!)
Chicky, dolphin, dream, it all sucks don't it. Particularly the house clearing thing. I didn't think I'd find it as hard as I did - after all, it wasn't my childhood home or anything. But junking or sending to the charity shop all the things that had surrounded her while she was at home, was pretty grim. Plus I found paperwork relating to my grandparents' suicides back in the late 1950s, which made shockingly sad reading. dolphin, I've been thinking of writing a guide on how to clear a relative's house, if you're on your own doing it!
Chicky, I don't know what your exact situation is but it sounds like you're really being torn. I do feel for you (and I'm holding your hand right back). I'm afraid I was pretty brutal in my thinking: DS and DH came first. They are my future. Mum, unfortunately, had to come in second. This is why I never for one nanosecond considered having her come to live with me. (Though as it turned out, my GP absolutely forbade it, due to DS being so young and therefore vulnerable.) I know many people think that's harsh and uncaring of me but frankly they can do one. In any event, the ones who have criticised me are the ones who have no idea what dementia really means, and the risks to life and property it can bring. (My great aunt almost burned her house down by putting an electric kettle on the gas ring to boil.)
As I said on my other thread, I guess we have to play the hand life deals us. Onward and upward (or something!) 