Hi everyone,
Newbie here so please bear with me :)
My mum is 77 and has Alzheimer's. She was diagnosed this time last year, although in hindsight it had been creeping up for around 3 years prior to that. To cut a very long story short, I managed to get her into a care home in January this year, which is where she is now, with her condition deteriorating all the time. I'm currently clearing her house to sell it for the care home fees.
My position is that I'm still (just) under 40, with a toddler only son. I'm an only child, and my father died years ago. My main friends, that I see the most of, are all fellow mums (we met on the NCT course), who are significantly younger than I am, and with younger parents. So what I'm going through with my mum has no resonance with them at all - they've simply not experienced it for themselves, so don't know how awful it is.
I just feel terribly alone and isolated at the moment. My wonderful DH is a total rock for me, but I'm feeling so down, he doesn't really know what to do or say. Things probably aren't helped by the fact that mum's dementia is merely the worst in a long list of shite that has hit us over the last 18 months - FIL died horribly of cancer last summer, then DH had to have his thumb amputated (cancer again, though the amputation seems to have cleared it), I spent months in pain with a herniated lumbar disc which was operated on this summer, only to then miscarry a much-wanted pregnancy. (And of course many of my ex-NCT mates are now all PG with their second...)
I think I probably need professional counselling, but it would be good to find out if anyone else on here is facing the same kind of blank looks from their friends and acquaintances over a close relative's Alzheimer's/dementia. And how they tackle it with grace and dignity!
Hugs to all,
F&J