Anyone send their two children to 2 different schools ( state and private)

[Purgatory]

I am distressed

essentially ds ( july born ) 6yr is having difficulties at his prep school it has been suggested that he leaves for another schhol to be honest he is bright but just it take a little longer to click and is not a big talker ifyswi

DD sept born 5yr is sailing through

both love school and have some friends, I love the school but appreciate thatthey are being honest and do have my dss needs at heart

but now torn as logistically it is a nightmare to have them at two school and i think it will breed resentmnt later in life has anyone managed it ok?

The OP is talking about a specific issue. Bluntly, as I understand it, DD is doing really well academically but DS has been asked to leave same school because he cannot cut it.

Perhaps the school are being rather short-sighted here, considering that your DS is a summer born. They seem to have written him off rather quickly. You obviously agree with them though as you say you love the school and think they are being honest with you.

You don't say why you think the state would fail your daughter, especially at primary level, but no doubt you have investigated that side fully.

I don't know. It's a tough one. At the moment My DD goes to private and my DS to state. But not because DS was rejected from DD's private school! You are starting from a tricky position, so good luck with it all.

I don't want to state the obvious but there are some incredibly bright children who flourish in state primaries. I don't know that you should assume that your dd will not be catered for. I know a genius september born girl in yr2 and she is given loads of extension work yet has friends across the whole ability spectrum. Her parents are both academics at Oxford and have no complaints.

And at the risk of sounding v immature, I'd be very tempted to tell the school to f off and take them both out. Sounds like they want compliant autumn born kids and can't be arsed to make an effort with anyone who might need some teaching. I think that reflects very badly on the school. You know that they'll be boasting about your dd's terrific successes in their brochure which is meaningless if they can't help all children fulfil their potential.
Oh and I was state educated and my brothers were prep and public school. It rankles due to the sexism, but I did far better academically (though I'm not sure I'm any brighter).

"And at the risk of sounding v immature, I'd be very tempted to tell the school to f off and take them both out. Sounds like they want compliant autumn born kids and can't be arsed to make an effort with anyone who might need some teaching. I think that reflects very badly on the school."

Hear, hear, well said. For crying out loud, in almost any other country in the world he wouldn't even be in school yet. How can they possibly have written him off already?

Leave. Leave now. With both kids.

not quite the same situation - DP went to grammar school and BIL went to standard sec then both went to uni and have good jobs .... but every Xmas etc there is always the same debate. BIL after a couple of glasses can get bitter about the more 'classical' education that DP had. DP on the other hand is not bothered at all.

You havent expanded on 'having difficulties', it would help if we had more detail i.e. are they saying that he has specific difficulties that they are not qualified to help with or are the just saying that he is not cutting it and they are being selective? If it is the latter frankly I agree with the previous 2 posters, I would pull both of them out and find a better school.

Bumping this as am interested to know whether Purgatory's made any decisions. Have you been back to the school to find out to get more of an explanation from them. Obv am rooting for you to be telling the school where to stick it...

Do they have a school bus or after school clubs. All the private schools in my area have something to provide some flexibility over pick up/drop off times.

To happilyconfused, I felt there were a few gaps in my 'classical education' that I wanted to close. There's a great, simple book on the market which goes through everything, it's a sort of 'made simple' will see if I can find the details. Maybe an Xmas pressie for BIL? It's actually fascinating to read, Greek and Roman God details and I now finally know that the River Stix isn't in the UK

Cortina - that would be most devilish! But I do like the thought of it

We are sending our 2 older girls to a state primary after their private school was taken over by another school. My son is still at a private school. We explained clearly why we moved the girls and what we were hoping to gain from the state school (which was a church of england school) which was better christian input. As long as it was clearly explained the children have been fine about the difffernt schools though I am dreading the fact that my son is going to finish 2 weeks earlier than the girls.

The strange thing is my son feels 'hard done by' in the private school. He has to work all the time but the work is too easy for him. He thinks he would have more fun and have less boring work there.

I have good friends at the private school who can usually help me out with diary clashes. However we have 4 kids (one pre-school) and expect to have to cope with several school drops at any one time. With pre-school nursery some mornings, I have 3 school runs as such all ready.