Are private school parents expected to help with reading etc?

[mrsshackleton]

I'm thinking about moving dd1 from a state primary to a private prep at the beginning of Yr 2. Dd2 would start reception at the same time.

However, I'm put off by reading in the Good Schools Guid that parents help out a lot with sport, reading etc.

Surely a big plus point of private schools is that they don't have to rely on parents help to get the children reading? It's one of my main problems with dd1's school - they're learning to read at a snail's pace and forever badgering us to come in, which if you work or have younger children is not possible. Reading with your children at home is different, of course. As is helping out with the school in some way ie school fair, though I don't think any parent should be pressured to participate to ensure their dcs have a good education.

Anyway before I embark on this costly path I'd like to know how much parents are expected to be unpaid teachers at private schools.

I imagine they will vary a lot - just phone up the head of your chosen private school and ask question directly.

is this a wind-up?

of course!

boarding school?

I would imagine it very much depends on the school.

DS1 is coming to the end of yr1 and his teachers are very much of the attitude that as parents we should just read for fun - no pressure to do reading of biff and chip at all.

But he's in a small class and does lots of phonics/reading to teacher every day.

I have never been asked to.

I imagine that if requests were put out to the parents, there would be lots of volunteers. In the same way, where volunteers are asked of school trips, it is by no means guaranteed all parents will get a place.

Mothers and quite a few fathers get involved.

I know what you're asking (although I think you will find quite a few folk come charging in, assuming that you're asking if you can remove yourself from any responisbility for your child's education )

Having had our kids in both State and now Independent, I would say that the expectation and reliance on parental help in the classroom is a lot less in private.

Firstly there is kind of an expectation that if you're paying you shouldn't have to also be supporting the school in the classroom.

Also class sizes are much smaller, so a teacher and TA can handle more easily. At our state infant there was always a parent there to assist with 'crowd control' so e.g. a class of 30 could be divided into 10 with teacher, 10 with TA, and 10 with a parent doing craft, or outdoor games etc.

Of course you'll always be expected to support your child at home, and you might find that there is more homework from a private school?

Oh yes - would never be asked to go in to help with reading.

Help with endless fundraising but not with actual school work.

wow! you lot are sooooo lucky!

Not asked for reading but to help with crafts etc yes. I'm sure the school does it because they know the parents want a chance to spy on the teachers. Some people can't get their names on the list fast enough.

Not me, pay the money and leave them to it, I say..

Same with trips out. We've had TEARS from parents who missed out in the draw (yeah that'll be right) for places.

Never done anything - DCs are 12 and 10 and been there since they were 3. There's a pta and it's pretty hardcore but most parents don't do anything.

DD is at a private prep school and there is no requirement for parents to go in and help with reading, cooking, sport - indeed anything. It is actually very unusual at DD's school to have parents in classes helping out. I did do it myself - voluntary entirely as I was gaining experience before applying for a new job, so was for my benefit primarily. I know of maybe 2 or 3 others who have been in to help out occasionally too - but all entirely through choice.

But then IME of state schools parents are not expected t help out either; again it is purely voluntary. I do see more parents in classes in the school I work at however than I have at DD's school.

My DC are in Reception and year 3 at a state primary school. The Head will not allow parents to help out in the classroom. She claims it raises issues of confidentiality .

You are expected to listen to them read and supervise their homework. Just because you pay it doesn't mean you escape doing this
Some schools encourage parents to help out in school, many have fund raising, some want you to go in and help clean. It all depends on the school.

No expectation to go in to school and help. Ds's school seems very aware that there are lots of households where both parents work, particularly in ds's year. However you are expected to hear them read every evening (one or two books depending on their level) plus spelling. That is year 1. Apparently homework is ramped up pretty steeply for year 2 but then they also have access to after school study clubs (not allowed to go every day though ).

Ds once had a headmistress that would call parents (who were normally at work) and expect them to drop whatever they were doing and go and see her immediately if their child misbehaved. Don't forget that the holidays are often longer so there's naff all childcare.

i never did the supervising homework thing. Being of the school of thought that if they had any gumption, they'd sort it out for themselves and if there was a failure in the gumption quarter, they'd have to face the consequences.

See, I've tried that. I get the nagging, not ds. He'll get in deep shit if he doesn't do the homework at his new school and I'm not paying fees so they can suspend him for not handing in his homework so I'll be on his case like a hawk!

Reading in class? No never- staff:children ratios are excellent, but reading at home... of course!
I imagine it varies from school to school though.

We were asked once at the start of the school year whether anyone wanted to go into school and help with reading, but there's been absolutely no badgering and I don't think many people do (I don't know anyone who does, and I've not seen anyone other than teachers and TAs commenting in DS's reading book). Similarly we get asked whether we want to go along as helpers on school trips but no badgering. I think they can resource both without needing any (or any significant) parental input, but don't want to alienate those parents who really really want to get involved.

You have to read with your own child at home, of course, but that's a separate thing.

I teach in a private school and we don't get parents to help with curricular activities. Our classes are small enough that the class teacher can cope alone

We do have a parents' association that does lots of fun activities to raise money for school funds and charity.

Parents are a good resource so we do use them for one-off activities, such as asking them to come in to talk about their jobs/careers, to do mock interviews for older students, or even to do some teacher training (we had a parent who was an asthma nurse come in to teach teachers about asthma).

Surely you should read with your children at home, regardless of what type of school they go to. It's fun to read them stories - which benefits their reading loads.

Or, change state schools. Our dd has raced away with her reading at her primary school. All children read at their own level, so she has been allowed to skip many levels.

Obviously now - in year 1 and a free reader - she doesn't read much with her teacher. But that is because she can read.

When she was still reading 'reading books' she read weekly with her teacher. Obviously, the strugglers were reading daily with someone.

Builde - the OP means are parents required to go in to school to help out or listen to the children read in the classroom. As she stated listening to children at home is totally different!

My experience, no parents are not allowed in to DD's Prep School to help with reading. It is not allowed where we are!

At home we listen to dd read for 15 mins per evening.

I used to go in , voluntarily , to listen to kids in dd's class read once a week in yr1 a and 2. It enabled the teacher, TA or a parent to hear them everyday, at the start of each day, which is not as common in state schools from what I've read on here. Others might help with changing for swimming or pe in Reception or on school trips but this is becoming mroe selective as the CRB system is more arduous and costly.

I now help with second hand uniform sales, friends at other schools are also required to provide refreshments for match teas. Noone is obliged though - ie. those who work or have younger children often can't as easily - even to help at fairs and provide home made cakes for cake stall (the local farm shop do well that week!) but it is an opportunity to give something back. Usually proceeds got to school funds for specific projects or local charities. So less about the education itself and more about setting an example as part of a community and creating additional opportunities for the pupils.

dc at prep school - have only ever seen a parent helping out in the Nursery class and that was because she was considering a career as a Nursery teacher.

the PTA is v active though - lots of parents spend a lot of time organising fundraising events. and organising coffee mornings on weekdays that working parents can't attend......

Thanks everyone

I did say in the OP (and some of you have noted) OF COURSE reading with your children at home is a different matter. I'd always do that wherever the dcs went.

It is the way our state school and many others relies on parents to have the children reading in class which worries me - it's acceptable for my dd because I do a lot with her at home but the majority of children obviously never read at home. They shouldn't have to be reliant on voluntary help to get reading.

Changing state schools is not an option, there's no other state school with places for miles. Anyway, I know that the nearest outstanding state school to us manages to be so because it relies heavily on parents coming in to help out and because most of the children are tutored.

Anyway, I will make subtle enquiries to the school in question. It's one thing to want to be involved for community reasons but another if a school charging £4k a term can't teach the children without the help of unpaid and untrained teachers