Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Original poster

moving from state to private - when to tell current school?

28 replies

mckenzie · 17/05/2010 20:02

DS will be starting at a local private school in September. He knows but I don't think he can have said much at school as it hasn't got back to any of the mums yet (or if it has, none of them are mentioning it to me ).

What are my obligations to his current school, does anyone know? Do I just wait and tell them in September at the beginning of term? Or do I tell them at the end of this term? Or does DS tell his class mates at the end of this term so that they can say their goodbyes etc but I wait and make it official in September (just in case we go bankrupt/change our minds during the summer and we have to change our plans)

TIA

OP posts:
islandofsodor · 17/05/2010 20:15

I'd tell them in around June/July time so he ca say goodbyes.

A girl in ds's class is changing school in Septembr due to her parents work and the teacher has said not to tell the whole class yet as it will be nothing but talking about it for the rest of the term.

seeker · 17/05/2010 20:18

Why does it matter whether he's moving from state to private, or state to state or private to private? He needs time to say his goodbyes, and it would be nice to give the school a chance to offer his place to someone on the waiting list, so I would say a couple of weeks brfore the end of term.

MmeTrueBlueberry · 17/05/2010 20:36

When we moved our children, we told the school about a week before the end of term. It was this late because that was when the deal was finalised. It didn't seem like a big deal to the school and they still had goodbye activities.

MmeTrueBlueberry · 17/05/2010 20:37

It would definitely matter if the current school were private because you have to give a term's notice or pay another term's fees.

LIZS · 17/05/2010 20:39

I'd tell them after half term.

Original poster
mckenzie · 17/05/2010 21:05

Thanks for all the replies.

I assumed it would matter seeker in as much as if it were state school into another local state school then the council would be involved and so the current school knowing would be out of my hands. And as MmeTrueBerry says, if it were private to state, notice would need to be given to the current school and so again, the time scale would be out of my hands.

OP posts:
LadyInMauve · 17/05/2010 23:32

Give the school as much notice as possible - there may be people on the waiting list for a place who should be given as much notice as possible that they have a place so they can make their own plans.

You may or may not want to wait before you tell his classmates etc but I think you owe it to his school to not put them in the position of having to fill this place in a hurry.

I would imagine the chances of you changing your mind over the summer are somewhat limited as if you have accepted a definite place at the private school you will have paid over at least a hefty deposit and possibly a term's fees in advance. That tends to discourage changes of mind on a whim

Original poster
mckenzie · 18/05/2010 08:00

you're right about the deposit LadyinMauve .

OP posts:
LadyInMauve · 18/05/2010 08:50

Yep, a bit painful if my experience is anything to go by!

Original poster
mckenzie · 18/05/2010 12:05

I think the next few years might be quite painful.

OP posts:
LadyInMauve · 18/05/2010 14:14

Don't get me started on that!

mnistooaddictive · 18/05/2010 21:11

I ould tell them now - what do you think will happen if they know? They will start working on class lists for next year soon and much easier for them if they know he won't be there.

HeavyMetalGlamourRockStar · 18/05/2010 22:01

Do you have to put it in writing? If you do I'd give them a verbal and hold off on the formal written notice long as possible, just to keep your options open.

TheConstantIroner · 19/05/2010 13:24

We told DS's school last week (state to private). The headmaster thanked us for letting him know and asked for it in writing as he has to inform the LEA. DS was then able to tell his friends and teacher.

cremeeggs · 19/05/2010 14:07

Constant and Mckenzie would you mind me hijacking a little and asking you how easy it was to make your decision about the move? Am at the point of possibly moving DD from state to private as the state not able to cater for her needs but am so worried about how she will cope socially, and how she'd cope with leaving her existing friends behind! Feels like a massive decision!

neversaydie · 19/05/2010 19:40

We moved ds from state to private last Spetember. The whole process took a while, as he had assessments at the new school in Feb, then familiarisation days and so on - we told the old school about these as they happened.

I think I wrote to the head to confirm the move was happening about a month before the end of the summer term - so far as I remember I said where DS was going and why, and was very complimentary about two of Ds's three teachers in his time at the school.

We discussed the process with ds all the way through (he was just 10 at the start of this school year) and he had some input on the timing of the move, choosing to finish the year where he was.

He has settled in to the new school beautifully, and it had definately been worth doing.

Original poster
mckenzie · 19/05/2010 21:11

Like neversaydie, it's been quite a long process and it has been a huge decision cremeeggs.
DH was the instigator of the idea at the beginning of last school year and it was then that we started checking out our options and looking at different schools. We chose the school and DS spent a day there and decided he liked it and thankfully the school came back to say they liked DS and would offer him a place as soon as one became available. Unfortunately though, they had no places available at the time in DS's year. We've had to wait and accept a place for the next school year so we've all had time to really mull it over. DH has been all for it completely but I have had my reservations (will DS cope with the change? the extra homework? etc). DS has been keen all along and that has probably been what has swayed it for me. Also, DS's current school is not full in his year and I'm fairly confident that if DS was really unhappy (although I sincerely hope and believe this wont be the case) that he could get back into the same school. Re the friends element cremeeggs, DS has acknowledged that he'll see some of them at football, cubs etc and local parks and that he'll make new friends. Fingers crossed.

OP posts:
LadyInMauve · 19/05/2010 23:00

As your DS is so positive I am sure he will make it work. In fact, I bet he loves it.

TheConstantIroner · 20/05/2010 10:33

Cremeeggs. In the end the decision was easy as it felt the right thing to do.

After a couple of years considering the move we recently talked about it again with DS who suprised us with his enthusiasm at the idea. (He will be moving at the start of year 5).

We had dismissed the idea at the start of juniors as we didn't feel that DS was ready to take on the extra work, traveling, longer hours etc. We also felt the change of surroundings and routine would dent his growing confidence.

At the moment we live within a 10 minute walk of a good local primary and while we feel the move would be good for him, it wouldn't be the end of the world if he stayed at his present school.

DS's biggest concern is that he will lose contact with some of his friends. In this respect I think we will just have to make the effort to keep in touch with people and make sure he meets friends during the summer holidays. He will still see friends at Cubs, football etc.

I'm sure that as the start of term at the new school draws near there will be second thoughts from DS. However, you have to go with what feels right for your individual circumstances and accept that it might not be the easiest option!

Good luck with your decision.

Original poster
mckenzie · 20/05/2010 16:13

Thanks for all the replies.
I've asked for 5 minutes with the Head on monday and will tell her then.

OP posts:
cremeeggs · 20/05/2010 16:21

mckenzie and constant thanks so much for your replies. You both seem to have had similar reasons and processes for making the move. I feel I'm earlier on in the process as we've only started thinking about it in the last month or so but now I've seen the school DD would be changing to I can't stop thinking about it. The only BIG downside is leaving her friends behind as she doesn't go to any activities with them eg Brownies purely because it was the only Brownies we could get her into at the time etc....

Also the mothers of her closest friends aren't massively into playdates so it will be hard to keep the contact going. Will take DD for a taster day at new school and take it from there I think.

Good luck to your DSs with their new schools

Original poster
mckenzie · 22/05/2010 10:42

how old is your DD cremeeggs? My friend has just moved her year 4 DD and her year 1 DD to a new school - the girls appear to have settled in and made new friends already (ie within days/weeks).

OP posts:
cremeeggs · 22/05/2010 20:26

She's in Y4 at the moment - would be moving at start of Y5 but can potentially stay at the school until end of Y11 so wouldn't need another moved for a long time

Original poster
mckenzie · 22/05/2010 21:33

my DS is the same year cremeeggs but he'll only be able to stay at this school until the end of year 8.
I still think for DS the upheaval now to a smaller school will be easier for him to deal with than the upheaval of moving to a huge school (as most state senior schools are) in 2 years time. Good luck with your decision making.

OP posts:
cremeeggs · 22/05/2010 22:12

cheers Mckenzie - just checked out the uniform at potential new school today was £300 for basics! Your Ds will get 4 years in his new school then? That sounds pretty good, otherwise as you say it's all change at age 11 anyway. Good luck with the transition