What do we think about teachers' end of term gifts...

[JustineMumsnet]

... is there too much pressure to spend large amounts of wonga - apparently (according to teachers' survey) some mums give opera tickets!?

Do you give routinely? Is it a burden? Any other thoughts?

(txs)

I used to get/make the DCs' form teacher a little gift at the end of each term, when they were in Infant/Junior. It was only a "it's the thought that counts" type thing but I believe that it's nice for the DC to learn to make thoughtful gestures. Also, I always insisted that they said "thank you" to teachers at the end of excursions or trips.
I always considered it as a gift from the child, not the parent, so I never organised alcohol - not really appropriate IMHO!

I loathe the giving presens to teachers thing.

Teachers are doing a job of work. What other professionals get pressies just for doing their job??????

The one upmanship - someone gives a Clarins gift set so someone else has to give a Jo Malone candle so someone else has to get....

aaaarrrgghhhh

At my present school there is a call for £10 a family EACH TERM which means over £200 a term for teacher who for some only sees them at registration (she is a subject teacher for only one of 3 streams)

I always politely decline

I am a teacher. Secondary though. We get diddly squat. Never mind though as just educating the lovely children is reward enough.....[maniacal laugh] HAHAHAHA.....

Been 'un de ces jours' today

No-one should feel obliged to give gifts. We've given various cheap stuff over the years: wine, home-made jam, cakes. Nearly all the teachers and TA's have replied with thank-you notes, many of them personalised. I started off thinking it was a load of nonsense, but now I think it helps show DS some manners and that
Christmas is about giving as well as getting.
I have voluntered at school for nearly 5 years now, and one teacher gave me a thankyou card, and recycled chocolates.
I was thrilled to bits, but certainly wasn't expecting it.

When I first moved to this country and DS1 was in pre-school in a very swish area, I felt pressured into giving presents at the end of every term by some parents. This was novel to me as in most of America, as opposed to what someone posted above, this just isn't done. When DS1 moved to a more laid back school, a joint present from all the parents was given at Christmas and at the end of the year. Never, though, for the Spring term. I always do give the teacher something in addition which is hand-made and small as a more personal gift from DS1.

I never gave teachers anything growing up - not even Christmas. Nor did any of my classmates (so NOT necessarily an Americanism!). However, my parents told me how they HAD to routinely bring in presents for their teachers growing up or it would be counted against them (in the Orient).

Although this isn't an Americanism, in Manhattan teacher gift giving is truly competitive and verging on insane. My friends tell me how it is "expected" that one would spend minimum of $200 on one's principle teacher for CHristmas ! However, this is the same city where people donate millions to insure their kid's place in a nursery!

willali, is it not a little bit like the equivalent of a tip for teachers?

never buy a gift for a teacher at any point. never understood this concept in the slightest. do i appreciate their efforts? some more than others. the odd one that has been really good and made an effort with dc I thanked personally or in writing.

gerontius - I don't necessarily feel the need to tip in restaurants either! No-one tips doctors, nurses, bin men, CAB advisers, solicitors, accountants, architects etc etc etc. Why are teachers any different - they are professionals doing the job they have trained for and hopefully enjoy. Just like everyone else....

You get my point

I dont think its anything like tipping, bin men, solicitors etc have no impact on my sons life.

I do buy gifts at Christmas and end of year because I appreciate all the teacher does for DS, yes she gets paid to teach but she puts in so much extra to ensure school is a wonderful place to be and deserves a nice gift. We buy most of the staff a gift as its always nice to show appreciation.

I don't feel under any pressure whatsoever, but I enjoy buying gifts for teachers when I want to express our appreciation.

ds2 recently did a Maths masterclass course at the local secondary. This involved 6 after-school sessions and on the last day we took in a bottle for the teacher, as ds2 had enjoyed it and benefited from it so much in so many ways.

I work in a school and this term two students have bought me small gifts (chocolates). They are of an age that it is them who's done it, rather than their parents. I find it impossible to express how much those small gifts have meant to me, and how much encouragement they have given me in my work. But it's certainly not something anyone 'expects', especially not in secondary.

I give, because to not give would be making a huge statement and that would be too confrontational - I know I should have more backbone but all the teachers.

I think the schools should put an end to it.

Sofaqueen - I stand corrected about this being something imported from America! I always assume that something that happens now that didn't when we were young must be because of the increasing Americanisation of the UK. Like proms......

I feel no pressure, I give presents at the end of the school year, usually something very small. I wouldn't give a present to a rubbish teacher though.

wow - people are actually calling us 'professional'

[holds back tears] ....am touched.

But Happy - do you tip your child's dentist, health visitor, GP, Gym teacher, footie coach etc etc etc - these all have an effect on your child's life don't they?

Maybe I'm being too confrontational about this but it does SO get up my nose

and isn't it part of a teacher's job description to make school a nice place to be??

Willali, no re dentist (see twice a year and usually differs each time), no HV as DS isn't a baby/toddler, no outside clubs yet. You cant compare any of those to a teacher, yet they may see DS at some point but they are nothing like the almost daily impact of a teacher.

It may be part of the teachers job description to make school a nice place to be, but I do believe DS's teacher goes way beyond her job description.

I refuse to be made to feel bad or be made out to be silly just because I show appreciation for somebody who does a fab job regardless of being paid for the job.

Plenty of professions get a thank you present for "just doing their jobs" as you put it. Thankfully the world is a far nicer place where people can and do show appreciation with a gift.

willali - I am pretty sure its not part of my job description to make school 'a nice place to be'....I do try but the job description is about 3 pages long and theres enough to cover in all of that.

We do really appreciate it btw all pressie givers out there (not that I get any - secondary teacher an' all that!).

I give my sons' teachers and TAs pressies (and my son's special school bus drivers too) - there are no perks in education (no, the hols are not enough of a perk as I spend most of them working on curriculum development, marking coursework, going in for extra revision days-as I will be this Easter-,sorting out extra curricular activities and doing all the things including decorating and display work that I can't do when the kids are in front of me waiting to be taught).

Ta again everyone out there. I always wine and chocs as pressies - I don't care if they are regifted - if it saves some poor TA or teacher having to fork out on a bottle of wine or some choccies for a gift for someone thats fine by me

oooooh I'm feeling a tad told off

I think the gist of this thread is the unspoken pressure to go with the crowd when perhaps one feels uncomfortable for whatever reason about giving teachers pressies - more power to your elbow those who are less miserable old gits than I am

A nice home made thank you card or even a simple thanks is always appreciated I think the whole gift thing has gone mad

As a teacher I like a home made card best, in the child's writing with a message that you know as come from them, rather than dictated by the parent.(the sort of thing that only the child can know e.g. something they really liked or an 'in class' joke or something that they remember most-something personal).

Last year we gave a present at Christmas and at the end of the schoolyear. We gave her a red leather lulu guineas purse for Christmas. She is a single mom and doesn't make much money. As far as I'm concerned she has the most important job in the world and I'm happy to treat her as such.

Good Grief!