Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

MNHQ

What do we think about teachers' end of term gifts...

76 replies

JustineMumsnet · 25/03/2010 22:31

... is there too much pressure to spend large amounts of wonga - apparently (according to teachers' survey) some mums give opera tickets!?

Do you give routinely? Is it a burden? Any other thoughts?

(txs)

OP posts:
Hobnobfanatic · 25/03/2010 23:13

I never sent them as a child, so was surprised that it's pretty much expected nowadays. Like others have said, it's not just one pressie - my eldest DD has two teachers who share the class, there's a trainee teacher, there's a teacher who takes them for science, there's a teaching assistant... And when bump is born, there will be nursery staff to buy for... Nightmare!

cornsilk · 25/03/2010 23:16

I think it's all getting a bit silly and excessive. It used to be small gifts from a few parents. Now parents feel obliged to buy a gift or contribute to collections whether they want to or not. I don't think it sets a good example to the children either when teachers are showered with expensive gifts. Far too materialistic.

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 25/03/2010 23:30

I do, but so far DD1s teachers have been fab. The first one we ainted a plant pot and planted flowers in it, hardly costly. Second time her teacher was leaving to go travelling so we filled a box with travel stuff like language books, money bag, suncream, mozzy lotion ect, she was very happy, even popped a car in door later in week to say thanks.

Strawbezza · 25/03/2010 23:40

I've never done the present thing. When did it all start? Nobody does it for secondary school teachers, do they?

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny · 25/03/2010 23:43

My father sent me into school with a christmas gift for my teacher when I was 7, it was a bottle of home made beer, in an old cola bottle. It looked like he'd dunked it into a manky canal. I felt so embarassed.

I do send in biscuits for all the teachers, a big M&S box, it's not just the class teacher who looks after him.

Charlieandlola · 26/03/2010 00:03

It is a miracle that all infant/primary teachers aren't 25 stone alcoholics, what with the mountain of wine biscuits chocolate and home baking they are given, ho spend all their holidays dusting the nick nacks and candles they accumulate each July and Xmas.
Like most things a simple thank you has become a competition.

SE13Mummy · 26/03/2010 00:06

As a parent I don't feel under any pressure to give teachers/other staff presents. DD will often make a card (to supplement the other 3 billion cards she's probably already given the long-suffering staff member) which, if permitted, I may write in too. When DD left nursery and when she switched schools I bought copies of two picture books that had DD's name in the title and she wrote a goodbye/thank you message/scribble inside. They were for the whole nursery/class though as I firmly believe no classroom can ever have too many decent books.

As a teacher I never ever expect gifts and have spent most of my career teaching in a school where most of the families were struggling financially and living in sub-standard housing (many with all the children sharing a bed whilst the parent slept on the sofa) and can honestly say the greatest gift I could have been given would have been to know that every child in my class would be fed, safe and able to sleep each night.

My most treasured actual, as opposed to desperately hoped for, gifts from children I've taught are the cards they've made me or messages they've written.

TeamEdward · 26/03/2010 00:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tortington · 26/03/2010 00:51

i think if schools were smarter they would capitalise on this new tradition and market it appropriately - along with the rip off school ties only sold at school and school motif jumpers only sold at school - they could do rip off greetings cards and gifts

Goblinchild · 26/03/2010 01:06

Best presents over the years.
Present for the class, a book or a game for wet playtime

Homemade biscuits
A second hand book that I really wanted
jam
handpainted warhammer figure
a fossil
plants they'd grown themselves

Things I'm given and thank the giver but never use
smellies...I have sensitive skin
knicknack and novelty gifts, no space in house
paintings and photos from and of the children. I have my own children, and nieces and nephews so I don't really have a place for random stuff from children I'm not related to.

'Nobody does it for secondary school teachers, do they?'
I do, my son has Asperger's and that can mean hard work and thought from his teachers. So his form tutor, SENCO and anyone else who's really made an effort to help him cope. Usually flowers or chocolates,

strandedatsea · 26/03/2010 01:18

Oh God this has got to be something (else) imported from America. I am sure we never used to give gifts at the end of every flipping term....

I gave Christmas presents because I actually like my dd's teachers. But I didn't even think of anything this term. I am sure I will give them something at the end of the school year but what? More smellies????

Nymphadora · 26/03/2010 05:55

Xmas & Summer only. So far have known enough about the teacher to buy something appropriate apart from dd1s yr 4 teacher who was never available & constantly forgetting stuff who dd picked post it's for

When dd2left infants we bought them a fruit tree for the school allotment. When we moved dd1 from her juniors I didn't buy anything because they had been pretty crap

MamaG · 26/03/2010 06:27

I give routinely

Started off doing it because I wanted to, now I feel i have to

I don't midn if teacher has been good, but I begrudge it if I don't like them!

Buda · 26/03/2010 07:59

We do a collection at Xmas and end of year - equivalent of about 4 pounds per parent and buy one gift for the teacher. At Xmas I also gave a bottle of wine to the guy who takes football club - his wife is a friend of mine who likes her wine! Chocolates for OT. Nice biscuits for guitar teacher. And I always leave a box of chocolates for the security guys at Xmas.

weblette · 26/03/2010 08:24

At the dcs' schools we put in £20 at the start of each school year to cover teachers and TA presents through the year plus gifts for anyone leaving/having a baby/flowers for anyone ill.

Works a treat.

MmeLindt · 26/03/2010 08:33

My cousin is a teacher and used to share the bottles of wine/chocs with the family, she got so much. It was just silly.

Much better for everyone in the class to put what they can afford into an envelope and buy something that the teacher would really appreciate.

Or a small homemade gift.

Shaz10 · 26/03/2010 08:37

This has reminded me about a time I worked in a school that had majority (but not all) well-off families.
At the end of the year I received some lovely gifts. But one girl hadn't brought anything. It was clearly bothering her as she kept telling me she would bring me a present. I gave her a hug and said of course she could if she wanted, but it really wasn't necessary - having her in my class was gift enough. I hope I reassured her, but it troubled me that it was bothering her all day, and perhaps beyond.

BitOfFun · 26/03/2010 08:42

It's a relief when they get to secondary school and it gets deeply uncool for them to buy teachers a present!

I used to buy wine or book tokens at a fiver each for the staff in dd2's special school class and the transport staff (it would come to about thirty quid altogether) because I really want to acknowledge their hard work, but the recession has meant I've had to scale back to transport staff only, then a big tin of chocs for the staffroom.

I have never been to a planet where opera tickets would occur to me

kreecherlivesupstairs · 26/03/2010 08:50

We give my dd's teacher a bottle of wine at christmas and end of school year. DH is a teacher and gets chuff all. When we were in the UK and he was teaching at an independant school, we had allsorts of stuff. One year he got a crate (pipe) of port. Yum yum.

Romanarama · 26/03/2010 08:52

I hate collective presents - it's just paying money with no thought (though the presents might be quite nice I suppose).

I give bottles of olive oil that we make ourselves from trees in our garden (Italy), but if I didn't have that, I'd give wine or nice handcream - things that are nice but not too personal, and don't go off if they stay in the cupboard for a year.

What's wrong with opera tickets? If you're loaded and you like the teacher then buy her some opera tickets. That's nice, and it's the sort of gift you get when you work in corporate affairs. If I was a teacher and someone gave me something like that I'd hardly be cross that all the others hadn't!! If I thought it was a bribe then I'd just give them back with a "thank you for your kindness, but such a large gift is inappropriate".

soapboxqueen · 26/03/2010 08:55

I've had some wonderful presents over the years, some which had taken some serious planning! I've never expected any though.

Personally I like a thank you from the parents. Makes me feel appreciated.

MNHQ
JustineMumsnet · 26/03/2010 09:06

Thanks everyone for your thoughts - really helpful - we'll move this thread to education and change title to something less desperate!

OP posts:
Buda · 26/03/2010 10:03

I saw you on the sofa Justine. Did you curse them for making you get up and out so early in the morning? I would have!

bloss · 26/03/2010 11:12

Message withdrawn

monoid · 26/03/2010 11:28

My dd is at primary school and every christmas and end of school year there are lines of children with gifts for the teachers. People bring in potted plants, chocolates, cuddly toys, wine etc.
dd makes the teachers a card. That's it. She does get annoyed that everyone else brings presents and she doesn't, but she gets over it. As far as I'm concerned, the teachers are doing their job. They may be very good at it (although I have never been particularly impressed with any of dds teachers thus far) but I'm not buying them gifts just because everyone else is. Saying that, she had a temporary teacher for a few months last year who had a whole star wars thing going on and all the kids loved him. We bought him something before he left!