What hope has this boy got?

[OrmRenewed]

Dh teaches yr 11 in a school for children with behavioural and developmental problems of varying degrees. Most of them get no GCSEs at all but the school does it's best to prepare them for adult life. One of the boys stormed off today - threw his chair on the floor, said 'fuck this I'm off!' and left via the fire exit. DH hasn't been teaching long so feels really bad of course. When the school asked the parents in to talk about it - they refused for the reason that they didn't bother with education so they didn't really care about their sons'.

Now whilst it's obvious that he isn't going to get any sort of academic acheivement, the school was a place of order and calm. The pupils achieved something simply by attending and learning to do things as a group.

And some of the home lives of these children would break your heart.

I would be very reluctant to teach one to one, even in a school situation, as the pitfalls are only too obvious. There always needs to be someone else about.

I think in the case of Orm's husband, this lad is going through one of those horrible stages where the teenager realises that everything will soon change and he will have to leave school, and he has a problem with that. Therefore, he lashes out. Orm did say that this was a school with lots of EBD, so this will be par for the course.

I have a friend who teaches in an EBD school, which has residential students as well as day, and some of the students are there all year round.

The question needs to be what support is in place for those at post 16 with EBDs? The system needs to be tackling this for this lad, not trying to change what has happened.

it's very sad that society has changed so much that one to one teaching is now so risk prone. We are all losers due to this.

Agree with scaryteacher, that this lad is probably lashing out due to his emotions of fear and uncertainty about the future.

He is also lashing out because his parents have not given him the necessary skills to interact in normal society and to deal with his feelings and emotions in a normal acceptable healthy way.

I think that is more likely given the fact they they really don't even care or realise the need for an education.

And another point could be that he has missed lots of school due to his parents lack of interest and so has not been adequately socialised at a young age to be able to learn from others behaviour.

My best friend has taught in a unit for excluded kids in Scotland for a number of years now. From the stuff she tells me, I think this boy's behaviour was relatively low key, I don't mean that as a slight.

But in answer to your question 'what hope has this boy got?'. Well, hopefully your DH and the other staff can give him positive relationships that he may not have experienced before. They can be consistent, supportive, reasonable and interested. If this boy can lash out and still have your DH there for him, that can be a powerful lesson.

Your DH can show him explicitly or by example other ways of dealing with his frustration, anger and sadness. He can be the most positive, influential person in this lad's life.

scary teacher- I work in a special unit and often work one to one with pupils. I have never really thought about my safety other than the normal steps- people can see into classroom, teacher sits nearer the door etc. I find it very rewarding and have visited some of the pupils at home when they aren't willing to work in school.

I run a touchy feely group as well.Claig you are right its not for everyone but most professionals would suss who would benefit and who wouldn't.

Orm- please remind your husband that his role is so important. He is doing a great job and should never feel bad for being off. He has to be well to do his job well. Once he has been in the job a while and starts to hear how former pupils are achieving he will see the hope he can offer to others. we need more like him- teachers who care.

here here Queen

I have no experience of this type of situation. Just thought I'd make a point about the parents reaction.

How many well educated and involved mumsnet parents have dreaded going into school to discuss the bad behaviour of their child? How many feel ill at ease the minute they wlak into a school environment? Think how these parents must feel in this situation. I know they should be involved, but their reaction may be to do more with fear than lack of interest.

Yep, this sounds horribly familiar to every day life at school Heart breaking and totally frustrating at the same time.