How to politley say to someone "Shut the fu*k up droning on and on about private schools and how proud you are your kids passed an entrance exam because it's just SO competetive" yawn yawn?

[DrNortherner]

Needs to be fairly polite as she is family.

Thanks.

Yawn right it the middle next time she tells you, then say, 'I'm not sure whether to have pasta or rice tonight'.

"mmmm....yes, you said that the other day..... What about John Terry, eh, who would have thought etc"

"congratulations - there's no doubt s/he is very bright - and I'm very pleased you have been able to get the school of your choice. Shame I won't be able to pick your brains for the experience of getting through it as private school is out of the question for us"

She knows private school is out of the question for us financially. But even if I could afford i I simply would not choose it.

Her ds has a friend who failed an entrance exam, all his pals passed. He is an 11 year old litle boy who is being told he has failed. What will that do to his self esteem? I just hate the whole ethos of it.

Grrr.

Say, 'Oh well done - and how many scholarships have been offered?'

"Good job that plenty of the brightest kids are too poor to sit the exams, isn't it, or your DC might not have passed...."

Oops, missed the subtle/polite bit...

Maybe you should say:

""Shut the fu*k up droning on and on about private schools and how proud you are your kids passed an entrance exam because it's just SO competetive"

Oops no you were looking for an alternative to that, weren't you!

Can't you just cut her a bit of slack? She's proud of her son, which is nice no?

Is it any different than being proud if your DC wins a race, passes a music exam, cuts a tooth? Wr're Mums, we're hardwired to think our kids are ace .

Am with litchick

Just smile politely and stop being so harsh

agree with Litchick and mrsshackleton, let her have her moment and keep congratulating her, she won't go on about it forever

Oh you are all so dull

I am really having to shove my fists in my gob to stop myself from telling her why I hate private schools, but she hasn't asked for my opinion so I shall refrain......

Ah, but your dislike of private schools is not the issue here.

The child has done something for which he should be congratulated. And his Mum is entitled to feel proud.

Don't sour his success because you don't like the politics.

Oh yes, he is my nephew, of course I congratulated him, I adore the kid.

The kid who didn't come up to scratch is a delightful little boy also. Should I offer my comiserations to his mother?

If the situation is right, then offer commiserations yes, don't chase her down the street shouting "Aaaagh! SO SORRY TO HEAR X DIDN'T GET IN TO ST SOURPUSS'S"

Would you feel the same way if it was a state grammar school 11+ he'd passed ?

Just smile politely, say well done (or a short commiserations for the little boy who didn't get in) and change the subject swiftly.

Is it because it is a private school exam or would you feel the same about a state school entrance exam? (Just curious really)

And no, unless she actually asks for your opinion on the school, then I wouldn't go in sayying how you feel about private education - it is sure to cause confrontation and unpleasantness.

And I think any 'failure' need not bruise too much if handled correctly.
DD knew she was giving a few schools a try. It was no biggie.
Pass/fail, acceptance/rejection - all part of life's wonderful journey. Nothing need ride on any of it.

Agree that "failure" need not be a biggie when dealt with roperly. And children learn about failing to achieve or get something through many activities they do in childhood - not getting int he football team, etc.

If you can't say anything nice then say nothing.
BTW, why are you called DrNorthener

You could casually drop into conversation about the number of criminal's children going to private schools these days - apparently it's a great way of laundering cash

I used to have this. Woman I thought was good friend but when my DD went to private school it bacame all she talked about.
It didn't matter whatthe conversation was she would introduce how hideous my choice of school was and how superior she was supporting the state system.

She could just never get past it.
So I guess it depends whether you like this person enough not to want to score points.

[dull] and [bitter]

Oh yes I like her lots.

It is just in me I guess to dislike the private school system, but yes, thinking about it this is my problemo and not hers.

I am just a old socialist hag I guess

Doncha just love MN for some perspective?

No problem with being an old socialist hag, but to come across as a jealous old socialist hag would look much much worse if your relative is on the lookout for such things.

If you're truly happy with the state system, why not just feel smug that your getting the education you want and not paying any extra?

you're not your.

doh.