Help me ladies and gents..

[marmon]

I went to see a beautiful private school today in Surrey and really fell in love with it, however i just feel a little unsure as to whether we will fit in. My ds has been at a local state for the last couple of years, hes in year2 and it has mostly been a negative experience.
He has a trust fund left to him by his late father ( i was widowed in pregnancy another story) but the up shot is we do not live in a great part of town, our house is modest to say the least and i just feel that this could be a problem in the future. Am i over reacting, being paranoid etc...? He has enough funds to pay for his education until hes an adult so that side of things will be fine. Its just when children come to tea and the parents see where i live, i just feel embarrased. His late father was totally against 18 years old inheriting vast sums of money and that is what will happen if i do not use the money on something, i cant buy a property for legal reasons, so investing in his education seems the right thing to do. Some advice would be great and please do not shout at me!! Im just feeling a bit out of my depth.

I think if you've fallen in love with the school you should go for it. There is no point in leaving your son in a school where he is unhappy if you have the money to pay for a better school.

I have not been round longacre but have heard of it and thought it sounded a good co-ed school.

I think your "gut instinct" is an important thing to listen to. If you felt relaxed going round and the Head and staff were friendly, children looked happy then go for it. You could probably send your son for a trial morning before committing yourself to the school.

Maybe you could go round some other private schools in the area before making the final decision.

There is a lot of wealth in surrey, even in the state schools. I think you have to just not worry about it..however big your house is there is always some one with a bigger one. Anyone who judges you on the size of your house is quite shallow.

marmon, I know Longacre and its lovely! Your lucky DS! I know a few kids who go there or have been there and they are really nice well-behaved polite lovely lovely kids - I'd be proud if my DD turned out as nicely, so the school must be doing something right.

Sounds like the head is a little odd from his "all walks" comment, but he might just be one of those heads that only remembers the rich parents (I guess headteachers are no more immune from being starstruck or swayed by wealth than the population in general). I've not heard of any bullying problems there, and the kids I know are respectively the children of:

1 - a doctor
2 - a builder
3 - a lawyer
4 - someone who runs a watersports school
5 - a teacher

Only two of those kids live in nice big houses, and one of them lives in a very average terrace in Pirbright. So all walks...and I think young kids don't notice things like that as much as older ones do. Especially if you can afford the "extras" such as school trips, music lessons etc - he won't stand out at all. Its the not having those extras that can make things hard for kids, I think.

Go with your gut - if you think your DS will be happy there, then try it. I hope you do!

Out of interest, have you looked at a few different schools? That can really help to bring a different perspective....