DS rejected by private school

[mum71]

Sorry this is long.

DD started private school last Sept because she didn't want to go to the local state high school. She was a very insecure, shy child and the change in her has been immense. She won an award for public speaking, beating about 50 others. A year ago she couldn't speak to her teacher in front of the class.

Anyway, we've been so impressed we've tried to get our DS (9) into the same school (the age range is 3-18). He went there for the day but they've rejected him. They said he would need one to one tuition which they couldn't provide. DS did miss about 1 year of school due to illness. We knew he was behind his peers and said as much on the application form and said that we want to support him, will do whatever it takes and are open to suggestions. They've said that they would take another look at him in July.

My DS says that they have all been told that the school ethos is education for everyone and that they are not an academic school. Her teacher told her that nobody gets turned away.

So I'm really annoyed. He isn't going to be able to catch up by July. His current school has more or less written him off. He has no homework given to him apart from a reading book that changes fortnightly and extra help whilst the school are in assembly on a Friday (with 10 others).

I've made an appointment with the head of the private school for tomorrow. I just wondered if anyone has had experience of persuading a school to take your child. I'm so afraid I'm going to get all emotional at the meeting and end up crying. : (

Thank you for all your responses.

The meeting has been postponed by the Head until next Tuesday. Such a shame as I was feeling ready for it. I'll let you know how it went next Tuesday.

Most indie schools are selective to some degree. Even the ones at the lowest end of the spectrum still have a minimum standard if they're oversubscribed.

The Head of a local school which is considered the least academic in the area told me should take any girl so long as they were working comfortably within level this or that. Now obviously that will exclude some kids however you cut it.

Just a thought, but perhaps it would be for the best if DS really couldn't keep up - that would be very disheartening no?

Hi
I know the own private school close to us that says it is not academically selective likes to keep a certain balance in the class, So not too mant at either the top or the bottom inorder to maintain the dynamic. Also whilst the school might not be academically selective it might not have special needs provision. if they cant meet the needs of your son, at least they are being honest rather than just taking your money. it might be worth getting an educational psycologists report to help identify whether he is behind due to his missed schooling, whether he has underlying special needs or whether he just isnt that bright. its worth remembering that children come into UK state schools in year 3 from other countries wih no english and no previous schooling, but still catch up and even excel within a relively short period of time. You said he was in hospital for the best part of a year. He must of been very ill. This can often both give kids a maturity behond their years but also cause them to regress. definatly arrange to speak to the Senco of the current school . Also are there ant very small nururing schools near you he could attend till year 7

I think you have more to worry about than your son being rejected from private school. Why on earth has he had no extra tuition from his state school? Where is his statement of educational needs, his IEP? what has happened to the senco?

I gather from your posts that he has medical issues?

Mum71- I think I know the school you want your child to go to. Is it a school with the choir attached to it and is a small school compared to the other schools in the city.

Hi, regarding a private tutor, it's worth remembering that by the end of the day your child will be quite tired and this is not necessarily the best time to start asking him to do more work in an area he finds tricky.
Ask your state school if a private tutor can go in to him during the school day. We did this with our son, he missed literacy once each week and spent the hour studying with his tutor in a quiet area in the school instead. This really did pay dividends for him, and although his spelling is still fairly awful, he is now brilliant at grammer and in the top set for English at his secondary school.
But be clear about what you want the school to do, and realistic about what help they can offer.
BTW, if school book is only being changed every 2 weeks, can you change it with him at the end of the school day 2-3 times each week?

By extra tuition I meant tuition for when he could not attend school. It is quite usual for schools to provide this if a schild has to miss school due to medical issues

God, I hate our education system, sometimes. How bloody dreadful that a little boy who has not been well is not helped to catch up at one school and is then told he's not wanted at another school. Poor ds, mum71. I wouldn't beg the head. I would conclude she's a fuckwit with a shite school if she didn't want my lovely baby there. And I would look for a good state primary instead of either the rubbish place that is currently letting your boy down or this stupid private one. You need one of the great ones that beats the shite system by nurturing whoever walks through the door. They do exist. Hope your son isn't too disappointed.

If you can afford fees, can you stretch to employing a one to one tutor so he can be home educated on a one to one basis? And aim to bring him up to speed by July?

It's v hard being older or younger than all your peers. Ii wouldn't like that for my DC.

I have heard that Indy school applications are up 7% this year so it makes sense that non selective schools are becoming a bit more selective.

Good luck.

I wouldn't underestimate what you can do at home. I remember my mum (an arty linguist type) having to teach me long division/multiplication/times tables etc from scratch after school when I sat the 11-plus, as my primary just didn't bother.

If it's reading and writing that are the main concerns then they must be a bit easier to make 'fun' at home - how about getting him to read all the books that his current school want him to, but maybe a bit quicker than their pace and use them to talk about - empathy with characters etc that would stand him in good stead for an interview ('What did you think about X?' etc), as well as getting him to read similar but more advanced books with you at home.

You could help him to write letters to relatives/funny stories/a short play for him and his DS to act out at home/a recipe book/football diary/whatever gets him thinking about words. Then while you're doing it you can guide him on handwriting, basic grammar and sentence structure etc

No idea if any of that's realistic, but maybe easier to incorporate into playtime rather than having a scheduled tutor ?

Swedey - applications in our area are really up. DC's school completely full and kids on the waiting lists for most years.

One of DCs has been sitting entrance exams over the last two weeks and there were far more kids sitting than places. At least 3:1 I'd say.

You'd think with the economic melt down, it would have eased off a bit wouldn't you?

Mum71. You have done nothing wrong. Your son is being let down by his current school as they do not appear to be helping him to catch up the missed time. Your DD's school does not sound right for him at this point although ask the Head to explain fully when you meet.

In your position I would go round the local preps and see if there is one that would suit your son. Hopefully they would either be able to offer some one to one (possibly at extra cost) to help him catch up or would take him in the academic year below. He could always try for your DDs school at 11.

Skegness, great post.