Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

What do you want your child to get out of school?

70 replies

Bucharest · 12/09/2009 15:04

Having spoken to 5 different mothers this morning (our smalls all start primary for the first time next week) I'm beginning to feel like a weirdo.

Obviously I hope she does well, but for me, well, I just want her to enjoy the whole experience of school....learning new stuff, making new friends.....The others were all looking at me in that Planet Zog kind of way, "ooooooooh, but the teacher is sooooo important, how the teacher makes the children learn, how strict they are....." (to the point that one of them has insisted on her PFB changing teacher (already) as the one he was going to has a Jamie Oliver lithp (and she is worried that her son might pick it up.)

We were talking about doing extra stuff after school, swimming and the like and they were all "oooooooh, you can't do anything in the first year as they are too distracted by their homework and getting used to the regime of school."

Tell me I'm normal to think that a nice swim after school isn't going to destroy my daughter's career chances???

OP posts:

Original poster

Bucharest · 15/09/2009 08:25

Oh, I'm definitely in the wrong type of school, wrong type of place really. We're in the south of Italy (which I didn't put in OP as I wanted specifically a non-culturally influenced range of opinions...for me educational aspirations should be internationally coherent!)

So, backtracking, this is the kind of opinion that southern Italian mums have, and this extremely non-southern Italian mum doesn't....

Funny thing is, of all the women I've talked to (and they are quite good friends from dd's nursery) I'm the one who is actually a teacher, and yet it's me who is (apparently) talking bollix.

A few years ago, one of my students (then aged about 14) asked me what I wanted my (the aged 2) daughter to be when she grew up, and I said "happy". He said "no, you don't understand, what job do you want her to do?" I said, whatever she wants......and he told me he was going to be a Public Notary as that is where the money is. Pah.

OP posts:

francagoestohollywood · 15/09/2009 09:49

Buch, I totally agree with your point of view.

There are cultural differences to take into consideration, I think.
Southern Italy has traditionally been "poor" (though I appreciate that the area where you live has known significant developments in the last 20 yrs, both economically and culturally).
In this context, for middle class families education largely means a way of bettering one's conditions. The possibility to study in a good University (maybe up North) etc.

Original poster

Bucharest · 15/09/2009 11:24

S'pose so, Franca.....dd of course will be going to uni in the UK.......or I'll disinherit her.......(eeek Buch's pushy moment coming out ) Actually, she'll hopefully go to senior school in the UK too......I'd better start working on the neanderthal-in-residence now......

OP posts:

ZZZenAgain · 15/09/2009 11:41

maybe it is all a lot less dramatic in reality than the way it sounds when the mums get together and discuss it IYSWIM? Hope so Bucharest, it's hard to be laid back when everyone else is stressing about education. (Not that I would know, I stress) . It's contagious, isn't it? Shudder....

I don't know why at least primary can't be a bit more relaxed but I have a feeling this is a world-wide thing at the moment. Maybe in the past the emphasis was on buckling down at exam time in secondary and now it has shifted to pressure from the word go, in the UK even in preschool, maybe from 3 onwards which to me seems ludicrous. I don't think it's a specifically southern Italian mind-set tbh.

GooseyLoosey · 15/09/2009 11:44

Its funny - but it varies from child to child.

Ds is very strong accademically and does well so far irrespective of school so what I want most for him is to make friends and be happy as the friends bit is what he struggles with.

Dd is very social so I think that she will be happy no matter what. However she is lazy so what I want most for her is to become motivated to learn and fired by all the knowledge that is out there.

I guess in both cases it comes out to wanting them to be happy well rounded people which is really what everyone wants - isn't is?

francagoestohollywood · 15/09/2009 12:38

Is she Buch?
Mine are going to Liceo Classico of course...

ZZZenAgain · 15/09/2009 12:50

dd is going to train rescue dogs apparently. I like that because it doesn't sound as if it involves lots of algebra and things like physics which completely passed me by when I was at school

francagoestohollywood · 15/09/2009 13:16

Oh that's good, ZZZ. Ds wants to be a footballer . Dd wants to be a teacher. And a hairdresser.

ZZZenAgain · 15/09/2009 13:33

LOL a little Italian footballer eh? Well that had to happen when you went home!

Dh was asking dd if she was going to be a lawyer when she grew up (we met studying law). She opens her eyes really wide and looks horrified (hilarious). "No dad", she says shaking her head, "I'm never doing that!"

So he asks me what I've been saying to her and why she's vehement she's not becoming a lawyer . It's the hours he works I think. Tbh I don't think being in law/business/medicine etc is the pathway to happiness.

Original poster

Bucharest · 15/09/2009 13:35

Dd is going to be a teacher.....about fish...."I want to teach people about fish."

(she's sat in front of a Jean Michelle Cousteau documentary as we speak, having discovered him on Nemo, he is now her God.....)

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 15/09/2009 13:36

Skills that can earn them a living.

That's what it's all about really.

ZZZenAgain · 15/09/2009 13:36

people need to be taught about fish bucharest. I can't tell one fish from another really ( well I can they're different shapes and sizes but I don't have a clue what they are).

francagoestohollywood · 15/09/2009 13:38

ZZZ, yes, how can he be doing this to me? (and how do I gently suggest him that he is not that ... gifted ... in this particular sport?)

ZZZenAgain · 15/09/2009 13:46

ha ha ha it's so easy for them to do this to us, so easy. franca, you don't think he'll notice with time?

fiercebadrabbit · 15/09/2009 13:51

ZZZ, dh has an allegedly "cool" and desirable job in the entertainment industry but one that also involves stupidly long hours, no holidays and intense stress

Everyone who meets dh coos "Oh, how glamorous" but dd1 can see through him. If you say "would you like to do xx, like daddy"; she says "No, it makes you too angry and tired. I want to be a builder so I can have breaks all the time" (our builder is a cheery chap and also somewhat - lazy laid back)

UnquietDad · 15/09/2009 13:53

I'm not sure you can necessarily learn vocational skills in school. I think school is about education - a general grounding in everything. People need basic numeracy and literacy, of course, which are essential in just about every job. (Even if you are doing something very hands-on practical, you need to be able to add up, read instruction manuals and safety notices, etc.)

francagoestohollywood · 15/09/2009 14:02

Yes, he will, I hope he will have changed his plans by that time!

BonsoirAnna · 15/09/2009 18:10

You can learn about fish at the fishmongers, ZZZen. All you really need is to be able to read the names of the fish (or, if they aren't named, to be able to talk and to ask the fishmonger) .

DD knows all sorts of names of fish and crustaceans as she has been coming to the fishmongers with me regularly since she was a baby. She is fascinated by anything in a fish tank.

cory · 17/09/2009 10:27

UnquietDad Tue 15-Sep-09 13:53:48 Add a message | Report post | Contact poster

"I'm not sure you can necessarily learn vocational skills in school."

Why not, if the school is well equipped and has the proper staff? We all had to do woodwork and sewing from primary up, but my secondary also offered a technology programme (including things like welding, workign a lathe and basic electricity), which I believe was quite good. Far more empahsis on practical skills in Scandinavian education: I notice that the candle sticks my Swedish nephews were producing in Yr 1 are far more "real" and working than anything dd has turned out in Yr 7 in a so-called technological college.

Just come back from a holiday abroad: the local Sixth form is a ship! They teach seamanship. And apparently do so very well.

UnquietDad · 17/09/2009 16:16

Just to clarify - I mean you can't necessarily expect to go to school and come out fully qualified for a job. Yes, you can learn some broadly "vocational" stuff but I wouldn't really want school to be about that. I'd want it to be a broad grounding in literacy, numeracy, languages, history, culture, sciences, geography and so on.

Flip

1 2 3