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Original poster

gifted/talented kids

54 replies

pinkchez · 24/04/2009 21:23

How many parents have got kids with gifted kids?
I am setting up a support group for the kids and parents.

I have teachers doin their best to get my son labelled as ADHD etc but it isnt going to happen, he is highly gifted, his IQ is in the top 2% of the population at age 8, but this comes with some issues, he is scared of new situations, doesnt like shopping centres above ground floor, chews clothes, wont sit still, gets bored etc,
does this sound familiar?
I'm trying to establish a support group if anyone is interested?

OP posts:
senua · 24/04/2009 23:22

Have you heard of NAGC?

Remotew · 24/04/2009 23:29

There are support groups as the last poster has linked.

Hopefully they will help you to make sense of how you are describing your DC's traits. FWIW I can relate to it. Labels were not mentioned as much ten years ago. If they had of been this would have helped me at the time.

mimsum · 24/04/2009 23:46

being gifted doesn't stop your son having problems - my son's IQ is in the top 0.2% of the population and yet he has Tourette's, Asperger's, ADHD traits and anxiety

having a 'label' as you put it actually helps him get the extra help he needs for school to be a success, I can't see why you wouldn't want to work WITH your son's teachers so you can all help him fulfil his potential

Littlefish · 25/04/2009 08:21

I agree with mimsum. Your ds's intelligence and his difficulties may need different strategies. The school are expressing concerns about his problems, which are presumably impacting on his (or others') education. Could you give us some more information please.

itchyandscratchy · 25/04/2009 08:24

why isn't it going to happen, as you put it? Because you won't let it? or because you are sure that won't be the diagnosis?

LIZS · 25/04/2009 08:44

Agree the two are not mutually exclusive. If you know his IQ is high, presumably he has had some sort of assessment which should also have investigated related behavioural issues. An ed psych will look at the whole picture and you need that specific information to argue your case with schools. There seems little point in establishing a support group if you don't really know what you are dealing with, as it will lack focus and be open to competitive parenting rather than constructivbe advice.

Original poster
pinkchez · 25/04/2009 14:05

my son has an ed.psych and a paediatrician, we all agree he is only gifted and has not other disorders, the paed has said she is 99% sure that he is not any of the disorders mentioned, but has similar traits, there are current research on the differences between gifted behavioural issues and autism/edhd etc etc, they are showing the traits are similar, but caused by different things.
why do people find it so hard to accept that you may need extra support but dont fit into a box of categories, why do u need the label to get extra help
everyone should be treating accordingly to who they are and not the name of their issues.
and oh my god how judging are people.
of course i try and work with the teachers, but when u r told they will not take the time to work with him on his issues, untill he gets a diagnosis, or that he has an IEP but i cant see it cos his teacher is off sick for 6 weeks.

OP posts:
usernametaken · 25/04/2009 17:45

PinkChez- I know of a very active international gifted forum that would be of a great help to you. I saw it mentioned on the NAGC forum. It has been very good so far for us.

seeker · 25/04/2009 17:54

What sort of extra help does he need? Schools get extra money for "statemented " children - his class teacher should be able to address his academic needs (although you have to keep an eye on thi) but the behavioural issues might need additional help that will only be funded if there is a statement. Why are you so anti-statement?

Original poster
pinkchez · 26/04/2009 18:29

because u cant get statemented for being gifted.

ooh the international gifted forum sounds interesting, how do i access it please?

OP posts:
cornsilk · 26/04/2009 18:32

In what areas is he gifted pinkchez?

Original poster
pinkchez · 26/04/2009 18:34

flipping heck u name it, reading, maths, understanding/perception, science, geography think they r the main ones

OP posts:
cornsilk · 26/04/2009 18:36

What have the teachers said? Is he on the G and T register in school?

Original poster
pinkchez · 26/04/2009 18:44

yeah he has been since he was 4, the teachers are not very helpful, albeit better than his last school where they bullied him and he got depressed at 6 years old, he's a lot better cos school has a better approach, we r getting there with school, their main concern is his behaviour, i have a meeting with them on wed, to tell them i think they need to be challenging his brain more and then they will have less behavioural issues, to be honest i wasnt on here to discuss my son as i have it in hand. i was mainly wanting to let people know about the support group i am setting up.

OP posts:
underpaidandoverworked · 26/04/2009 19:44

Pink, I would be very interested as I am in the same situation. My son is 4.6, not due to start school till Sept and is already reading and writing. Nursery have admitted they are struggling to keep him challenged within the curriculum they have and his behaviour since Jsnuary has been shocking - this coincided with new intake of younger children, so nursery unit went back to 'colours, shapes' etc . He frequently comes home complaining he has been bored. He asks questions you wouldn't expect from a pre-school child, about the environment, science, etc.

Please contact me via my profile if you wish, but count me in for a support group . Good luck

usernametaken · 26/04/2009 19:52

Pink- follow the link on the NAGC forum and you will have a ready made support forum with over 100 active posters with kids who are MG to PG+. Use your MN name to register and I'll sort it out. I can't post the link here for obvious reasons.
Underpaid- please feel free to do the same.

seeker · 26/04/2009 21:56

I apologize for trying to help. I'll remember not to in future.

Littlefish · 26/04/2009 22:15

Pink - your manner on here has been abrupt and to be honest, quite rude to those people trying to offer support.

mimsum · 26/04/2009 22:26

my son's statement is in part for his 'giftedness' and in part for his behavioural issues so you're misinformed there as well as being rude, pinkchez

Piffle · 26/04/2009 22:35

Irony
My daughter was turned down for a statement as she is well above average therefore in no need of help...
however my highly gifted eldest son got no extra help either...
I despair at times...

missmem · 26/04/2009 22:49

I think its really dangerous to decide a child's behaviour is due to them being gifted. It is is simply not true. There are many gifted and profoundly gifted children who have no issues and have normal behaviour. I have many friends who say that X behaves this way because he is gifted. NO, its because of the way you have brought your child up or because they have something else going on such as a mild SEN.

neverwasswedishanyway · 26/04/2009 23:09

My dd1 is gifted (now 15) but does not have any issues - helps that she's in a selective school so even though she's identified there as G and T she has lots of bright kids to mix with. She did come across as geeky at primary - not helped by teacher calling her boff and clever clogs

Ds on the other hand would doubtless be deemed g and t at some schools, but is very dyslexic at a selective school. The label (or signpost) does help a bit with support and I can't see why a parent would resist support.

I know many g and t kids (even within selective schools)and none of them exhibit any of the traits the op talks about. If it was my child, I'd be doing everything I could to get support. Support/funding rarely come without acceptance that there's an issue.

That last paragraph sounds wrong - I know what I mean and don't mean to sound rude, but I wouldn't put those traits down to just being very bright. I'd fight for the right support for my dc regardless of ability.

campion · 27/04/2009 00:04

'Gifted' is probably one of the most unhelpful words I can think of when it comes to describing children. It can be counter-productive in that it explains away all those oddities and peculiarities of behaviour which might actually suggest that there is something wrong.

'Behavioural issues' do need careful consideration because there's often a reason and it may be a developmental reason, not just useless teachers.I like nwswedish's use of ' signpost' as it suggests directed help rather than a label which can seem negative.I'm afraid that you sometimes have to face the fact that along with high intelligence / ability can sometimes also come Asperger's / ADHD and Tourettes.If it's there, it's there and no amount of wishing will make it go away.

I have been there and a diagnosis of 'giftedness' ( by an Ed. Psych.) was most unhelpful as it delayed my son's proper diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome by 4 years, by which time the traits were a lot more entrenched and more difficult to deal with. Educational Psychologists are not able to diagnose Asperger's but should know enough about it to suggest a referral.

If your child is very bright / talented and is quite well adjusted - great. If not, it might be worth wondering if there's more to it than meets the eye.

paisleyleaf · 27/04/2009 00:24

Regardless of whether a child has some sort of disorder or are just gifted, if their behaviour is causing the teacher difficulties or preventing the child from accessing his education, then it's no bad thing to have extra help in place for that child. Extra assistance can only be a good thing can't it?
And, isn't it quite common for very bright people to be displaying odd behaviours. The absent-minded genius. Isn't Albert Einstein thought to have been autistic? .....we are perhaps lucky that there is more awareness and help to children today.

Original poster
pinkchez · 27/04/2009 13:53

I would like to say that i did not come on here looking for advice, i am offering a support group for those with gifted children, I have many reasons behind knowing my son is not autistic or adhd etc etc, I have also lots to back me up when i say he is gifted and because of this he has some behavioural issues. I do not need to defend my parenting skills, his behaviour is certaintly not because of a lack of parenting etc, his brother and sister show no behavioural issues.
Again I would like to say I now run a support group for those kids that are gifted, whether they have behavioural issues or not,
I will not be coming back on the forum, so if you are interested then please email me on [email protected], I find the uneducated responses of some people astonishing, and that if his pead. ed psych etc wanted to give him a diagnosis it would have been years ago and I would have accepted it, it would have made life easier getting backwards thinking people to accept. instead of opening their eyes to new possibilities.

OP posts: