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Original poster

We've been to an open day at my daughters school but couldn't ask the questions we wanted too.

38 replies

mummyloveslucy · 12/02/2009 12:02

Hi, I went to an open day at my daughters school and saw the reception class that she'll be going in to in september and had a tour of the junior school.
The girls in year 6 were our "toor guides" and although the girl we had was lovely and did a very good job, we couldn't really ask her about our daughters speech disorder, paying for extra help etc.
When we ended up at the beginning, we saw the teacher who chatted to us and asked if we had any questions. It was awkward though as there were about 4 10 year old girls in the room with us.
I didn't get to ask my questions, so now I'm not sure what to do. She is still in nursery at the moment so I could ask the head of nursery the questions I wanted to ask.
The reception is in the nursery building and we spoke to the teacher on our own. She was lovely and my daughter looked very comfortable with her. I was able to ask her questions but I didn't mention Junior school as I thought I'd ask the junior school head.

OP posts:
seeker · 12/02/2009 12:05

Ring up now this minute. Say that you have some more questions and can you make an appointment with the appropriate teacher. Job done.

TotalChaos · 12/02/2009 12:07

arrange an appointment with the head and the school senco to ask the questions.

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 12/02/2009 12:11

The school is private but the fees arn't too bad, under £2000 a term for the oldest juniors. It would still be a huge commitment as after we've made the decission to keep her there I wouldn't want to take her out half way through.
I really needed to know if she would be better off there or at the local primary school. I know the private school dosn't take statemented children and fingers crossed she won't need one, but I don't know how she'd cope if she was struggeling.
She loves the school but If I had to pay for extra help on top I couldn't do it.
The classes are very small, 15 with one teacher. State schools have about 30 with classroom assistants too.
It's so tricky trying to make this decission. We are also TTC so if I had another baby, the decission would be made for me.

OP posts:
AnarchyAuntSaysRomanceIsDead · 12/02/2009 12:14

The local primary school 'doesn't take statemented children'? What!? How do they get away with that?

In answer to your question - ring up/go in, and make an appointment to see the head to talk about your questions. If you are going to pay fees you have every right to get all your questions answered first!

AnarchyAuntSaysRomanceIsDead · 12/02/2009 12:17

Oh sorry, the private school doesn't take statemented children. Wake up

I'd be wary of sending a child with a speech disorder or any SEN to a school that didn't take statemented children. I'd worry about the standard of education they could offer to that child as an individual and how they would identify/deal with any additional needs.

You really don't want to be in a psoition where your DD needs help the school can't/won't provide, and hae to move her later on.

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 12/02/2009 12:17

Yes, I'll make an appointment. My daughter has a parents evening soon so I could ask the head of nursery too. I'm not sure if the school have a SENCO, I'll have to find out.

OP posts:
seeker · 12/02/2009 12:19

MML - I have been here too long. I thought you had made this decision! If the private school you're considering "doesn't take statemented children" doesn't that tell you all you need to know about it? Even if your dd doesn't turn out to need a statement?

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 12/02/2009 12:25

Good point AnarchyAunt, that would be awful for her.
It says in the OFSTED report that the school has good systems in place for identifying children who may need extra help. It dosn't say what help they get or weather we'd have to pay more for it.
She is still being accessed by the paediatric consultant to see if there are any underlying problems. She was very boader line with her development apparently.

OP posts:
TotalChaos · 12/02/2009 12:27

I think you need to be asking some very frank questions, along the lines of - if DD still has speech sound problems in 12 months time, would you feel the school is appropriate for her?

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 12/02/2009 12:30

I know seeker, and we do have a place for her in January at a good school down the road. It's just not the same though.
I really don't want to make a wrong decission.

OP posts:
AnarchyAuntSaysRomanceIsDead · 12/02/2009 12:33

I really think you simply cannot take the risk that in the future the school would be unable/unwilling to meet your DD's needs.

The local primary, whilst it may have less in terms of shiny resources, and bigger class sizes, will be able to provide any extra help. And if your DD does need extra help in future, she'll have to go there anyway. Surely better to start off there and not risk having to move a child who has not been getting the help they need?

TotalChaos · 12/02/2009 12:34

can I be nosey and ask if she has any problems other than speech sounds, given you said paed thought she was borderline?

I think that with a child with any sort of special educational needs- it's more important that the teaching staff understand the issues and are keen to help the child and work together with any outside professionals, than having nice facilities etc.

AMumInScotland · 12/02/2009 12:37

MLL - with private schools you almost always do have to pay for any extra help that your child needs, so if they do decide she needs any then that will add to the costs. They also won't let her stay there without the extra help as that could affect the whole class. As others have said, they don't sound very keen on dealing with children with SEN at all, and that would be a big worry for me - if your dd is at the "top end" of the needs they are prepared to even consider, then they are not going to have much experience of helping children with these problems.

Don't let the "niceness" of the private school blind you to the practicalities - Lucy will be better off in a school which is able to help her with the speech problem.

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 12/02/2009 12:38

When my daughter first started having speech therapy, the SALT mentioned verbal dyspraxia as being a possibility. I printed some info about it and gave it to nursery as after reading through the info, I thought this was definatly what she had. The head of nursery looked quite concerned about it and said to my husband something like "is she likely to have this problem in years to come, as I'm thinking about junior school".
A few months later The SALT tald the school she didn't think it was verbal dyspraxia and told us not to worry or look it up on the internet ect.
She has now recently said that she HAS diagnosed verbal dyspraxia and has put it in her report the the Pead. I havn't told the nursery teacher yet, but I'll have to at her parents evening.

OP posts:
DesperateHousewifeToo · 12/02/2009 12:43

I completely agree.

Make an appointment with the Head and discuss this with them before committing your daughter to a place in the private school. Ask them how many children in the school have special needs and what sort of support the require and receive. Are these children able to 'keep up with' their peers? If not, do the satff differentiate their work successfully?

Also ask about which schools the children go on to from this school.

Are these senior schools very academic, will your dd be required to sit competitive entrance exams? Will they ask her to leave if she is not able to keep up with a certain standard of work?

cory · 12/02/2009 12:46

I would never for a moment suggest that all state schools are ideally equipped or willing to deal with SEN. But they do have one advantage: they can be forced. If things go pear-shaped, they can't chuck you out, you have means of redress. And there will be a SENCO who is experienced in dealing with SEN.

I would go straight in and speak to the independent school now. Be prepared to ask very frank and uncomfortable questions.

DesperateHousewifeToo · 12/02/2009 12:46

Oh, my slow typing!

I'm agreeing with talking to the school, not your dd's diagnosis of verbal dyspraxia.

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 12/02/2009 12:50

Thanks everyone, I know you are right. It's not the facilities that interest me so much, it's the atmosphere and the way all the girls look so happy and are so polite etc.
(I know Lucy would be polite whatever school she went to, I'd make sure of that!)
The teachers are so caring but firm too.
I'd feel bad about taking her out as the nursery have been a fantastic help to her and they have all been so dedicated to helping her.
SEEKER - she has some co- ordination issues. She can't ride a tryc, she's not fully potty trained, and can't climb etc. She was late with her physical milestones too.
She does however have good pen control. This has come along just recently but it's fantastic. She is vey precise and neat.

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 12/02/2009 12:53

It really sounds like the school are going to have a problem with it, from the nursery head's reaction. I think you have to make an appointment to speak to them and tell them the diagnosis. They will then hopefully be honest about how big a problem it is. I think they will either not want her to go there, or else will make you pay a lot extra for one-to-one help for her - they would almost certainly make you pay the full cost of having a specialist come in to help her, plus maybe more on top for the inconvenience to them (having to arrange the timetable, make a room available etc).

You may have the idea that private schools are "better" because they have nice facilities and smaller class-sizes, but they are a business and will not hesitate to pass on the costs to you. Your fees won't cover anything "extra" like this.

Rocky12 · 12/02/2009 12:53

Both my sons are at private schools and both had speech problems which resulted in us having to pay for a private therapist (NHS waiting list was 18 mths long!) I would definitely be honest with the Head and tell him your concerns. With the small class sizes it could be that your daughter will gain in confidence. Our therapist came to our house and had recently retired from the NHS. She was excellent but felt a bit miffed that I had to pay for it.

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 12/02/2009 12:54

The school is for ages 2-18 years. Some go on to the grammer schools at 11, but the school does go right the way through.

OP posts:
MollieO · 12/02/2009 12:57

I would be wary committing to private school if you are going to find the basic fees a struggle. The extra help your dd may need won't come cheap and you will pay for. In a state school you will get that support for free. If you are set on the private school option then you need to find out what support they can offer and how much it will cost. You could find that it adds a considerable amount to your termly invoice.

seeker · 12/02/2009 12:58

Polite and kind and happy - but they "don't take statemented children" The Head of the nursery looked concerned when you mentioned the possibility of dyspraxie, and you haven't felt able to tell her nursery that the diagnosis has been confirmed?

Do you REALLY think this is the right school for your daughter?

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 12/02/2009 13:08

I don't think that private schools are always better than state schools, in fact we have a private school neer by and to be honest, I'd rather pay for the state option.

OP posts:
DesperateHousewifeToo · 12/02/2009 13:17

There are lots of private schools that happily cater for children with additional/special needs and many of the children who attend them may have been statemented if they were in the state system.

They have not been statemented because they have not gone through the state/nhs system, iyswim.

You need to find out what the independant school's atitude is.

As they go up to 18yrs, it may mean they are more supportive to this but you won't know until you ask