We've been to an open day at my daughters school but couldn't ask the questions we wanted too.

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, I went to an open day at my daughters school and saw the reception class that she'll be going in to in september and had a tour of the junior school.
The girls in year 6 were our "toor guides" and although the girl we had was lovely and did a very good job, we couldn't really ask her about our daughters speech disorder, paying for extra help etc.
When we ended up at the beginning, we saw the teacher who chatted to us and asked if we had any questions. It was awkward though as there were about 4 10 year old girls in the room with us.
I didn't get to ask my questions, so now I'm not sure what to do. She is still in nursery at the moment so I could ask the head of nursery the questions I wanted to ask.
The reception is in the nursery building and we spoke to the teacher on our own. She was lovely and my daughter looked very comfortable with her. I was able to ask her questions but I didn't mention Junior school as I thought I'd ask the junior school head.

I know seeker. I have heard about several children going to the state school from other schools and making excellent progress.
We will be dedicated to helping her at home too. It makes complete sence to send her to the state school, as I wouldn't have to work so much and she could have a hobby and we could fund any extra speech therapy or extra tuition etc.
It's hard to explain why I like the school she is at so much, I think you'd have to see it for yourself.

The nursery teacher did say that if she was in the state system she probubly would've been statemented by now, but she said that she wouldn't request it unless she was 100% convinced that she needed it.

She's not due to start primary school untill January 2010. She'll be doing one term in reception at the private school before she starts.
Thanks everyone for your advice. I'll talk to the nursery and the school but I think she'll have to take up her place at the state school.

are you sure they won't take statemented children at the private school? some private schools do, but it might depend on the reason for the statement. Some don't because they don't feel they have the expertise to help with certain conditions, in which case the state school would definitely be the better option.

I also think you'd be a lot happier if you just made up your mind one way or the other - this has been going on since I first started coming on MN!

Lol I know. I had made my decission to send her to the state school but since we went to the open day, I'm having second thoughts.
I know deep down she won't end up staying there and that it won't be the right school for her if she has any on going difficulties, but it's a lovely school. I think it's me wanting to wrap her up in cotton wool. I just want the best for her.

But you've posted things in the past that made me feel very angry with the school on your dd's behalf - and it it OBVIOUS that they are neither equipped nor willing to deal with your daughter's individual needs. What on earth do you like about it??

You wouldn't be wrapping her in cotton wool, if you were to send her to the private school knowing there is a good chance she'll need more help that they seem willing to give, more like throwing her to the wolves!

I can see where the difficulty lies though, it isn't easy making big decisions for our kids. You'll know what's right really.

I know, this thread gve me a feeling of deja vue, lol.

Are there any other schools you could consider - state or private?

It seems to me that your heart says private whilst your head says state. Is there no school which might appeal to you on both levels?

I can see that you've set your heart on the private school, but it would seem to me that, at the very least, you need to go in and speak to the head about Lucy's difficulties and see whether and how they could cater for her.

As for the stae school - well, it seems to me that you have a lot of misgivings and would like a reason or excuse not to go there. Could you maybe arrange to have another look round and try to address some of your concerns?

I disagree with some posters here in that I don't think it's necessarily that much of a problem if you end up changing your dd's school at some point. But it's better if you don't feel forced into such a decision by circumstances.

Do you think the problem might be that you wish the lovely private school was the best for her, and are having a hard time accepting that it isn't? You've said how much you like the nursery, how good they've been with her, etc. Maybe you're just struggling to accept the fact that the actual school, lovely though it is in many ways, just isn't the same. They ought to be nice, they ought to look after her, they ought to be able to give her the help she needs to make the most of her education. But deep down you know that they're not going to, don't you?

When you posted before about the state school, and seemed to have settled on her going there, I was really happy that you were making the best choice - it may not have everything that the private school has, and you would prefer her to carry on there being as happy as she has been in the nursery, but the state school sounded nice too, and much much better able to give her the extra help that she needs.

I agree - you had a lovely dream and are finding it hard to let go.
So undertsandable.
But you must allow yourself to let it go if it isn't best for your, obviously adored, DD.

My kids are at independent school. I teach in state school. We think DS has very mild SN which doesn't affect him in the academic sense. We didn't know this when he started.

If I knew any of my children had SN before starting school, esp if I thought they may need a statement, I would, without doubt, choose state.

That's good to know, myredcardigan.
I know I'm making the right choice but feel guilty that I'm taking her out when they have been so dedicated to helping her.
I do think you are all right when you say, I had a dream of her being at the private school and find it hard to accept that it's not the right school for her.
I imagined her going through school with the same group of friends, in their sweet oversized uniforms watching them all grow up together sharing wonderful experiences and having a really happy childhood.
I think above all else, I want her to have a happy childhood.
It's harder to imagine her at the state school as I don't know any of her future class mates, I don't know who she'll be friends with or what she'll be like in a big class with a teacher I don't even know.
I did like the school when we went to look around, it seemed cosy and the staff all seemed very nice. I'm sure she'll be fine.