Teacher threw away my DDs bracelet and I'm cross about it - should I complain?

[conniedescending]

Title says it all really, she forgot to take her bracelet off yesterday and the teacher saw it and chucked it in the bin!!She only told me on the way to school this morning and teacher wasn't there to have a word with (was in a meeting apparently)

so should I ask her today or just seethe quietly?

Bloody hell Scienceteacher-you do sound strict. What age group do you teach?

The bracelet may have seemed unimportant to you but to that little girl is clearly meant a lot. You don't sound as though you treat your students as children; I assume from the tone of your posts that you are unused to dealing with children under the age of 10?

I would be concerned if I had you as my child's teacher.

Totally unreasonable to dispose of someone else property- what exactly does that teach a child about respecting items that belong to others?

that is appalling behaviour from a teacher. Confiscate it yes, throw it away, no. That is effectively theft as the teacher has assumed ownership of something that she knows does not belong to her and has disposed of it. Like someone else quite rightly said, the police will prosecute someone for shoplifting sweets that costs only a few pence/pounds. It is the principle. Theft is theft and for a teacher to act in such a way is appalling. What makes it so sad is that it was a really special present that clearly meant a lot to the OP's DD. I would be kicking up one hell of a fuss and be threatening police involvement unless the teacher involved either sifted through the rubbish and retrieved it or bought a replacement (and apologised to the child and mother) Totally agree with shinypinkshoes ref teaching children to respect other peoples property.

Connie the teacher sounds like a bully. If I ask a child to remove jewellery I ask them to put it in their pocket/ bag/pencil case so that it is not my responsibility. Poor dd- having her xmas present treated with such disregard.

People are missing my points - never mind.

First of all, I would not throw away something valuable, and anything I confiscate would not be simply given back to the pupil the same day.

Secondly, in this case, there are going to be two sides of it, and it is important to consider the other side before doing anything. It is highly unlikely that the teacher threw something in the bin, let alone as the first line of sanction - highly unlikely. A more typical route would be to tell the child to remove the article and put it in their pocket/bag. If the child refuses or removes and later replaces, then it would be reasonable for the teacher to keep the article (put it in her drawer, for example). If valuable, then send it to the office for safekeeping.

The parent also has to consider what to do next, and consider the impact that whatever she does on the child's education for the rest of her time in that class, and perhaps in that school.

Going to the head, full of anger and making demands, is unlikely to be helpful for your child. Letting your child have ingrained that the teacher has no right to do this or that could have consequences throughout her schooling. Think twice, act once.

As a (strict) teacher mself, I strongly dispute the idea that teachers can't make mistakes but still be respected. It is a v weak teacher IMO that relies on the illusion of authority by fear and threat.

On page 1, the OP was suggesting going to the teacher and asking for dd's bracelet back. No anger there. I agree it is very unlikely the teacher threw it in the bin.

Personally, I do agree with ST account of what is likely/should happen - I do confiscate things and contact parents to collect too. In which case, dn't you agree ST that the teacherwas a bit unreasonable IF the account stated in OP was true.

Hate all this 'teachers can do wrong'. Too many teachers are really unprofessional and it reflects on us all.

Teachers have the right to confiscate, NOT to throw away.

Scienceteacher, you are missing the point here.

OP, write it all down (C&P it from here if need be! ) and send/give a copy to the teacher and the head. Mention your expectation of a replacement if the original can't be returned.

Please tell me you teach children of secondary school age scienceteacher. I think its a bit disingenuous to keep calling it a trinket. One of my favourite bracelets cost £2.50 from a school fair, I would (as an adult even) be gutted if it was thrown in the bin. Of course if I was wearing it inappropriately (e.g. I was a surgeon ) I would expect to have that pointed out and to remove it, but not to have it thrown in the bin.

I think you should talk to the head, or teacher. Do you have home-school books? You could always write in there explaining that the bracelet was a present and you would like it back. No luck then the head, but focus on the getting it back rather than the fact the teacher's obviously a bit of a loon who expects rather a lot of 7 year olds.

Umlella- my thoughts too- it was unlikely- but the OP did approach the teacher, and the teacher had (almost unbelievably) thrown it in the bin.

Oops, sorry, read whole thread. Yes, dd shouldn't have brought it in but shouldn't have put in the bin. Doesn't matter how much etc. She def needs to apologise (dd needs to apologise for bringing in too), and if appropriate, school should replace. I have made mistakes as a teacher - we are all human, if you take responsibilty, kids respect you MORE.

It is different throwing images that have been printed out on school paper in the recycling bin. ST, I doubt you would actually ever throw a child's possession in thebin - even a drawing.

I'm a secondary teacher and would never throw anything belonging to a child away. Put it in my drawer- yes, make them be without it- yes. But never would I throw it away. Even those string friendship bracelets have some value to the wearer.

I agree that school rules need to be adhered to but there is a way of ensuring that without putting stuff int he bin.

OP- I would be bloody livid and would be seeing the headmaster this morning.

Scienceteacher, read the thread. Or if you can't be bothered, read the OP's update - she's checked and the teacher DID throw it in the bin. Which is appalling, disrepectful and theft. As everyone has said, confiscation: fine, throwing away: not fine. It's not hard to understand!

And to say it was inexpensive hence doesn't matter is really snobby. Doesn't matter what it cost, it didn't belong to the teacher. And the OP has already said it was a Christmas present AND she struggled to afford presents this year. Plus the child is 7 - not one of your secondary pupils.

scienceteacher - surely you can grasp the notion of an inexpensive bracelet having sentimental value? I would be very upset if one of my DCs gifts had been casually binned by some vindictive teacher. It is morally WRONG to forcibly and permanently dispose of someone else's belongings, plain and simple.

Also your comment regarding age not making a difference is shocking. Do you really impose a blanket standard of behaviour on your pupils, regardless of age? I would have thought that age-appropriate discipline would be one of the basics in teacher training.

Apart from the sheer unpleasantness of your attitude, do you not realise that it's counter-productive to treat pupils with such little empathy? Yes, you might make your point regarding a transgression of the school rules, but you would lose the respect of any averagely intelligent child. They KNOW you have done something morally wrong, and that undermines your position. A teacher who behaves like this, also becomes unapproachable. How can you expect to fulfil your pastoral duties if the pupils see you as a spiteful dragon?

Sorry, I'm right behind scienceteacher here. I spent eleven years teaching students who had learnt that rules are there to be discussed, avoided, worked around and ignored because of 'special circumstances'. It's frustrating and makes it almost impossible for classes to be taught effectively.

Talk to any teacher and they'll tell you a tale of a child who is allowed to get away with terrorising a class because they have "family issues", or "they've never learnt to respect authority". Well if the parents won't discilpline their children, if they leave it to schools to do it, then they have to expect that eventually a teacher (abeit a human one who may have endlessly repeated the same instruction for the hundredth time that day) may actually enforce rules.

Yes the teacher may have overacted. But by making a fuss you are subtly teaching your child that rules don't apply to them.

I also throw student's work in the bin. Plagarised work is going to get a fail grade anyway, they may as well find that one out early on. Not that many of them do of course. By the time I get to them they have spent their whole school career being allowed to bend and break rules and can't see why they have to change now.

I think my dh's secondary school handles confiscating items very effectively - they are not allowed them back until the parent/guardian comes to collect them.

This is extremely effective as mostly it's their phones/ipods they have confiscated and parents go mad at their children not coming home with their phones.

It was very well publicised too and they had to sign a form at the beginning of term agreeing to the policy.

I don't think Connie was planning on making a fuss as such just speak to teacher in question or the head.

You may say it's teaching the child to not respect school rules but it is also teaching the child that its ok just to throw away other peoples property.

Scienceteacher you sound like a stereotypical 'dragon' teacher. This is still a yong child were taling about who made a mistake, the teacher should have conviscated it with a warning - she didn't know of the sentiment so had no business throwing it away.

Scienceteacher: you do realise that your fuckwitted attitude is helping to raise yet another generation of bullies, sneaks and cowards, don't you? If children learn that Authority is vicious, unreasonable and capricious, they will either try and emulate the mixture of spite and officiousness that you display in any dealings they have with younger or weaker individuals, lie and dissemble and do everything to shift the blame as punishment for wrongdoing will be humiliating and out of all proportionm or become so afraid that it damages both their health and their ability to learn anything useful.
It's actually important to teach DC that some rules are arbitrary and wrong and that such rules should be challenged.

scienceteacher "Going to the head, full of anger and making demands, is unlikely to be helpful for your child. Letting your child have ingrained that the teacher has no right to do this or that could have consequences throughout her schooling. Think twice, act once. "

1. the op isnt going to the head "full of anger and making demands"

1. The teacher has no right to do this why should the little girl be made to think its OK

1. "think twice", The op is and has thought things through and backed by the majority of this thread is acting correctly by going to the head after the BULLY teacher nearly reduced her to tears.

I drummed into my DC from a very young age not to take anything valuable (financially or emotionally) into school because it could easily get lost or stolen.
Why did you let her take such a treasured item into school?

No solidgoldjanuary, scienceteacher is challenging the prevalent attitude of students in schools that "rules don't actually apply to me".

It is these students, and their parents who back them up, that make teaching such a difficult and at times dangerous profession, and who make life for those children who have worked out that rules are there for a reason, such an ongoing misery.

slug - 'the prevalent attitude of students in schools that "rules don't actually apply to me"'

Whereas, presumably, the teacher was following the school rule that all confiscated property must be thrown in the bin?

But many rules are not 'there for a reason' other than to enforce the prejudices of some individuals or allow them to bully people they see as weaker than themselves. Rules which seem arbitrary or stupid should always be challenged, and any rule which is worthwhile will be easy to explain in about one sentence. If you don't know why a rule exists, then you shouldn;'t be enforcing it in the first place.

Connie I think the head teacher needs to be made aware of the incident but, if you feel to emotional to do it yourself ask your DH or another trustworthy friend to do it on your behalf. It is very important that your point gets accross in a calm collected manner which you might not be able to do when so emotionnaly implicated. I usually always sort any problem with the school myself, exept once, about a new policy they ere trying to implement where I knew that if I was the one doing the talking I would just not be able to handle it. DH went and the matter got sorted in a very nice manner. Maybe you should try that.

I don't normally get pissed off with these threads but FFS, we are talking about a 7 year old girl who seemingly forgot to take off a bracelet that was very precious to her. we are not talking about a bloody teenager who is deliberately flaunting school rules. Do teachers no longer have common sense?

You know something? I have a seven year old DD. If this happened to her I would just raise my eyebrow and point out that she had been told. Several times. Live and learn.

But then I spent many long and exhausting years working with students who had never learnt that particular lesson.