Starting off in a state school and then putting a child in to private at secondary level

[Thomcat]

I'd like DD2 to go to a local private school. Her grandparents are offering to pay.

DP says he wants to start her off at the local catholic school and then at secondary level look at putting her into the private school.

Her sister attends the local catholic school. A very good, lovely little school.
She doesn't go to said private school because she has SN's.

I think it's better to start DD2 off with the private school, which again is a lovely school, (but imo is just generally all round a nicer, better equipped etc school, I've done my homework) and then stick to that, as long as she's happy.

DP isn't sure.

What would you say?

State to independent for me. Most of mates went to the State secondary. It was sad, for about half a day!

Two children from our state primary have just been knocked back for the local private school - failed entrance/assessment exam. The private JUNIOR school tutors and prepares them for the senior school - get 'em in early is my advice.

I'm probably going to go the other way. Ds is in a private primary, but will probably go to state secondary.

Ours are in an excellent state primary for the reasons of social diversity / place in the world understanding that many have mentioned. We will hire a tutor for 9 months before the entrance exams (and have done practice papers with them say twice a month since year 3). We hope to send them private at 11. We are in an 11 plus area, so they will sit entrance exams whatever we do.

We are planning on sending ds private from the off albeit to a mixed school that goes from 4-18 - partly to try and head off any future stress about entrance exams, leaving established friendships etc that might be an issue if he went to the local state primary.

I agree with all that ohIdoliketobebesidethe said.

I attended a private primary, a state secondary and once in university, I re encountered many people from my old private primary... and thank my parents for including state education in my life. I suppose that not being very exposed to the realities of other less advantaged people, made them have a very narrow view of certain issues. And despite the brilliant education they had, that put them in not exactly an academically advantaged position.

DS attends a private primary that feeds into another private school for KS2. I'm sending him to a state school instead. I may reconsider to send him to private school at another point in his life but for the time being I want him to be able to apreciate, at a tender age, that there is another "world" out there, where having a mind of your own, or the willingness to work hard to get what you want, are more worthy things than having 7 generations of children attending the same school...

Litchick - that is the situation I found myself in, all my friends were going to State schools but they were split between a mixed comp and an all girls comp, so I wouldn't have been with them all even if I had not gone to the private school. I didn't have one single mate starting the private school with me but it didn't hold me back - I made a new friend the first day and we are still friends now, 30 years on!

I was state education until 8, private prep which I loved and then private secondary
I loved my education and it was much better in the private school, but some of the girls I went to school with were very narrow minded.
Not all however , and my school was a single sex boarding school were I was a daygirl.Choose the right private school is my advice
University was full of all walks of life, and quite honestly my parents brought me up to not be a snob and to treat people the same mindless of how much money/holidays/cars /houses you have.
I can just about manage to stretch to private primary and so have opted for this so far, too worried about the change at 11 to private system to opt for state primary initally

I was in state education [sorry]

Can I just clarify that at uni most my friends were from state background. But background didn't matter too much to us (did to some people though) because we were all fairly hard up but new we had great opportunities and were privileged to be there.
There were a fair few private all the way through people who were snobby about how much money people had. I remember one particular girl thinking that hardship was when one of her friend's had to sell her pony because of the Lloyd's crash. ROFL

Not sure if anyone's mentioned this - do you think either of your DDs would benefit from being at the same primary school and sharing the same experiences, knowing the same children and staff etc. Plenty of time for them to go their seperate ways later in life.

That's a good point ChippyMinton. I have huge gaps so my three are in pre-school/primary/high but are at the same school as it goes 3-18. They share some teachers and of course know all the same admin staff. They also travel to/from school together which they never did in England. I do think it has brought them all closer, though that's been a side-effect rather than something I planned.

Children seem to settle in fairly quickly whether they come from state or not. There tends to be quite a lot of movement in and out of private schools,so I wouldnt worry. The only advantage I can see in going private from primary level is if the secondary private is highly selective and you're worried about your child getting through the entrance exam. Though personally I think there could be some big disadvantages to going to private school right through your entire education - as others have pointed out, it's hardly real life!
Interestingly a lot of private pupils round here move back to state for 6th form, as there is increasingly a perceived disadvantage in applying to University from private.

and equally if they get good GCSE's it's relatively easy to go private just for the 6th form, most of the good schools will take new pupils for the 6th form and they tend to settle very well and will have avoided the whole tutoring at 10 thing.

It does make you wonder though what the point of private is if they're going to go back into the state sector for 6th form, a decent comp could probably have done the same job

Agree with you there dannyb.

Hopefully my son will go from state primary to indie secondary (thats if he doesn't get 11plus)

I was state primary - indie secondary

Hubby was state primary - crappy sink comp secondary

He is now my boss

plan is for son to go to GS at 6th form if GCSE's are good enough

what has made you make that decision watchtheworld?

I went from mixed state to single sex private at 11. I'm very glad that I had the years up to 11 in state - better social mix (but was faith school so still not completely representing locale), and access to boys. My perception of the girls who were in the prep section - that junior section was cliquey, and that being at same school from 7 till 18 especially single sex was a bit overwhelming.

I am glad i went to mixed state primary too as i also went to girls private school and agree that many of the prep girls were very cliquey and actually ended up being the most brazen at 14/15 as they hadn't experienced boys in any capacity prior to that

We're doing state now (excellent school that has own minibuses & other good facilities and despite what nell said earlier, it does take the whole class to the theatre ). But it's highly likely we'll go to independent senior schools, partly for all the reasons others have mentioned.

Most of our local independents are single sex, and as I have 2 girls & 2 boys aged between 6mths and 7yrs, I particularly like the fact that they can be at school together, it's very bonding for them! (and we'll have one year when all 4 are attending). It also makes the school run easier. When they are approaching 11, we'll decide between the one co-ed (terrible journey) and the single sex schools for which there are minibuses.

I went state primary to independent senior. The independent school went bankrupt after my first year so I went to the local state. I didn't get the best welcome!

I think you need to consider whether the state primary will fully prepare your DD for a private secondary - ie not just to pass the entrance exam, but also for when she gets there. I was at a (pretty poor) state primary then moved to a private all girls day school at 11. Whilst the entrance exam went ok, when I got there I really struggled because all the girls from private primary schools had done stuff like french for 2+ years, started hockey and tennis at 7 and were generally just more confident in class. The state primary hadn't done any of those things, it was too busy trying to get kids through the core curiculum and didn't believe in competitive sports. I caught up eventually but it made my first year or two much more difficult than it needed to be.
I also don't fully get the 'range of backgrounds' argument for doing a state primary - when I moved to private school the majority of my friends abandoned me because I'd gone to the 'posh' school. Your DD can still do out of school activities with a range of children.
You're lucky to have the option of private primary and secondary - why not take advantage of it.

Hi, I moved my son from state to private at the beginning of this year, (he went into year 4) Although he passed the exam (its not a selective school as such - he did non vr, vr and reading papers) it did take him a while to catch up with his peers. The prep school he attends now, follows the Common Entrance curriculum which is far more advanced than the National Curriculum.For example, he is studying (in year 5) now what the Year 7 pupils at the state senior school I work in are studying under the National Curriculum. The CE syllabus also helps prepare for 11+ if we choose for him not to remain at the prep school till he is 13.

There is a huge diverse range of backgrounds at the prep school, parents who find the fees a breeze and have homes dotted over the world then some whose children are at the school with financial help and others like my family who have saved, scrimped etc etc to do this for their children, and so far we have not come across anyone snotty! Both my 2 are at the school now and will remain private for the remainder of their education. The state system let my son down badly (he was hideously bullied for 2 solid years, teacher, head, governors, lea could do nothing or didnt want to?) I know we are lucky to be able to afford this for my 2 and to have the choice.

The pre prep are taking the whole dept to the panto at Christmas, my daughter at 4 is already learning French and has already started reading, My son visits France regularly and stays at the schools own study centre there, he does science in a proper lab, every extra bit of equipment is readily available, he is in class of 15 ( 2 forms of 15 for each year) and he is thriving! Im starting to sound like an ad for the school, sorry!

If you have the chance to offer your dd this from primary age, I'd grab at it with both hands!

CGM

ps I went to a state primary school, state senior school, then a private senior school and now teach at a state senior school so I am not against the state system at all

My siblings and I went from state primary to private secondary (except my big sister who went to a grammar school). We had no problems with "catching up" as it was selective. I don't remember anything much being terribly hard, or having problems being the only kid from my school to go there. The children from the prep were a little cliquey to start with, but that soon passed. They were however much more likely to leave the school at sixth form because they were utterly fed up with being at the same place for so long (some since they were at nursery), and quite a few went to sixth form colleges to take vocational courses.

I wasn't tutored for the entrance exams, and got into all four independent schools my parents tried me at, so I'm not sure that going to a prep school always gives you that leg up.

We have our two at state schools (now in Canada) and would have been looking at independent secondary. Mostly to avoid sending them to single sex schools which I really don't like.

However the key thing is what will work for you as a family, and where you think your dd will be happiest. I think you can get a lot of the extras (theatre trips etc) outside of school, the key thing is that the children are friendly and the teachers good. Both state and private can pass or fail on that.

I went to a state primary school and am now at an all-girls independant school.

It was a bit of a shock at the difference, and things such as: how much pocket money you get, what car your parents have, what pencil case/bag you have is all of mega-importance now - it wasn't like that in my state primary school.

Another big shcok was the non-uniform days. I hate them. The girls who wear designer clothes laugh at the girls who don't. They make remarks about how rubbish you look and ask how much your jeans were or where you got them from.

It's not that nice for me, but remember that not all private schools are like mine and what I have said, is only my experience.

If I was to advise you in anyway, consider co-ed private too, unless you were already, or not even considering single sex!

I hope I have helped a bit and not put you off :/