to think there ought to be a stiff punishment for pulling down a kid's trousers and pants?

[Spidermama]

My ds, who's 6, was very subdued all the way home from school. He then told me that a boy pulled down his trousers and pants and put sand in his pants while others looked on laughing.

The boy was told to apologise, but that was that. He's naughty most days and gets into some kind of trouble but doesn't seem to mind.

I don't think a feeble apology is enough. I want to bring it up with the school tomorrow.

AIBU?

I wouldn't go in all guns blazing, to be honest. You don't know what the other kid's story is.

I would be bloody livid.. but i also agree with mrsmattie..

Sorry didn't mean that to sound so blunt@OP! I would be upset about this too, and it may well be worth raising with your son's teacher, but I would try to remain really calm and composed, is what I mean. This kid might have special needs or behavioural problems - there might be some ongoing problem with him, who knows?

YANBU by the way!

Sounds like a joke that went too far tbh- some kids are very immature at that age

I wouldn't kick off,, just mention that it happened and ds was upset

YANBU - imagine if that had happened to a girl, the school would go nuts. You need to be confident that the school has handled it well and the only way you will get this is through talking to them.

I think the children who laughed need speaking to by staff as well.

Yes I would force myself to calm down and go in for a chat. Your poor ds. How horrible for him.

There's no question of me going in hysterically as I am all grown up now.
... and this boy's only behavioural issue is that he's a right tosser. Regularly.

I just think that it should have been taken more seriously. This sends out the message to my ds that it's not such a big deal to be assaulted in this manner and there won't be much comeback for the other kid.

How would you feel if someone pulled down your trousers and pants in public?

Poor ds, how horrible. Agree a brief apology doesn't really cut it. Would definitely speak to the teacher and say how concerned you are and that you want to be sure that the horrible boy and other children realise quite how beyond the pale this is.

I knew of a mother who complained that her 13 year old son was excluded from school for pulling doen girls trousers in he school yard. That is 13 ladies.

She felt the school had over reacted.

The form tutor sent her away with a flea in her ear.

Hi MB. [smile} x

at a 13 year old. Imagine the mortification at that age. It's bad enough at 6. Haven't we all had humiliation dreams about being naked at school?

Or is that just me.

well, quite.

She thought it was 'just a joke' and that we had over reacted.

We didn't think it was 'just a joke' and we didn't over react.

Oddly enough this pattern of behaviour (he was not alone but was the only boy with an idiot mother) stopped instantly once the punishment was dished out

I agree there should be a better punishment.

I still remember vividly being 10yrs old and having my skirt and knickers pulled down in the playground while other children stood by and laughed. The girls in question were basically just told "don't do it again"

I agree there should be a better punishment.

I still remember vividly being 10yrs old and having my skirt and knickers pulled down in the playground while other children stood by and laughed. The girls in question were basically just told "don't do it again"

God, should not be dealt with by way of feeble apology. I remember at school being about 7 or 8 and a gang of girls (not me!) pulled a boy's trousers and pants down. THere were major repurcussions, involving parents being called in, threat of suspension and general nastiness. Quite right too - felt so sorry for the boy who was a friend of mine.

mind you the same school also responded by punishing these same girls with making them apologise after they stood round me on the playing field taking it in turns to throw their shoes at me, adding up the "points" (for actually hitting me with them) as they went along.

The same when one of those girls stood and hit me on the head (with the other girls surround me) with a school book repeatedly

MB I can already see similarities with the mother you mention and the parents of this boy. They think he's just a sweet little ol' maverick and the teachers are being jobsworths by telling him off so often.

Mercifully they're moving to another county at the end of term.

oh and one of them didn't even have to apologise (was just told to sit down at her desk) after she walked past me and deliberately pulled my pony tail so hard that my chair tipped right over backwards.

FAQ

yeah was a lovely school (still shit now apparently 19yrs on.....)

If it happened to my 6 year old, I would expect to be told about it by the teacher I think. I'm a secondary school tacher, and if something particularly upsetting happened to someone in my form, I preferred to be the one who told the parents abut it. It helps to get the storystraight (not suggesting that your ds is in any way exaggerating) and also let them know what action as being taken.

Not good enough really. That sort of humiliation is too cruel. Your DS needs to know that the school is prepared stand up for him. And the other boy needs to understand what he did is unacceptable.

Poor ds.

I think it would show your ds that you take it seriously if you tell him you will speak to the teacher tomorrow. This is appropriate because it really upset your ds.

Thanks Darth. I'm working tomorrow but DH is with me on this. He's going to go in and have a chat tomorrow. Probably better coming from him as he's really good at this sort of thing.

I remember at school aged 11 having some boys going round pulling the girls bra straps and trying to pull their skirts down. The boys were made to scrub the bogs in the lunch break for a week (they didn't do it again.)

A boy in my class when I was 5 kept pulling my pig tails in the line up to go in. I turned round and punched him on the nose hard. He never pulled my pig tails again. While I don't condone violence I sometimes wish these wee bullies got a good slap from a kid they were teasing to give 'em a taste of their own medicine.