Daughter unable to attend her graduation ceremony as it is full. Advice please

[mildlyfried]

My daughter has just finished a three year Bsc (hons) at a major University. She has been advised that she cannot attend her graduation ceremony as it is full and she is on a waiting list. All the other ceremonies are at capacity too. She has been told that if a place does not become available then she can either try to graduate in November without her friends or have her certificate posted to her for a £10 fee.

To say we are upset and disappointed is an understatement. Has anyone ever heard of this before? I did not think a University would do this and would make sure they had enough graduation days/dates for all their students. The students have paid tens of thousands in fees and slogged for three years to be denied the chance to get their degree in a ceremony with their family watching.

Is there anyone out there with any advice? maybe someone who works at a University? I'm tempted to go to the local paper and tell the story so other students know what to expect at this University. Students should be told when they are choosing the University that they are not guaranteed a graduation.

Thanks for reading

So you have given up arguing that it is totally reasonable to not have enough spaces in the july ceremonies and are now arguing that OP' daughter must be lying.🤔

If you’ve paid thousands to study it is a reasonable expectation that you should be able to attend the graduation ceremony if you apply by the deadline. Not everyone will want to go so there should be enough room for everyone. Some people think they are boring/elitist, fine, they can skip it.

Oxford has graduation ceremonies throughout 2026 and into 2027, in a similar limited size venue.

Are posters really going to argue that a student should not attend Oxford because they won’t have a chance to graduate in July??

Thats an interesting system. I guess its been in place for a long time and worked well before there were this many students.
It doesnt seem to make much sense, every student should have a place in a graduating ceremony the same semester they actually graduate. Having it a half a year or a year later just doesnt do it.

They should really host a multiple day event. Shocking

Thats shocking to me. I would expect all the ceremonies to be close to the actual graduation.

IIRC, Cambridge graduates just after the end of term; Oxford doesn’t. AFAIK, it has always been thus - a member of my family, contemporary with me, has never bothered to go back to Oxford to graduate in person.

My son will have to go back 3months after his Masters finishes at Exeter
I don’t see it as a problem

Its easy to say she should have booked earlier if you already know how bad in can get. Dont think its not unreasonable to expect there to be a space at some ceremony at all at the time of the graduation.

Unless only selected students recieve the relevant emails, then the process is fair and equitable across all students. I can just see a student at a post grad job interview explaining that, yes their grades were good enough to be
offered a place at the best uni/on best course for their intended career but they went for a lower ranking course because mummy was upset that they might not get to graduate with their friends if they didn’t respond promptly to the booking emails. Not.

Apparently @Pikachu150 would, as would her 18 year olds!

Brilliant response!!

Well it wasn’t

and every person invited who bothered to read the email (and reminders) would have known that it wasn’t “enough”

I asked mine if they’re reconsider their top choice due to this graduate ceremony invitation ie you have to be prompt to respond…. And honestly? I can’t describe the look on their faces!

It meant a lot to her friends that they graduated together, so they read the invite and responded promptly. Hence they’re going to all celebrate together.

The DD… didn’t

I didn't actually say my DC would have rejected it because of it. I said that they might have taken my opinion on what this suggests about the university and their attitudes toward students into consideration. Stop with the hyperbole and trying to insult me and my DC. It is a bit pathetic.

But if you read a deadline @XelaM thst clearly stipulated

1. first come first serve
2. limited capacity
3. the alternative would be in November
4. if you apply before the deadline but miss out, go on the waitlist and then later get a ticket you will be guaranteed two guest tickets but if you don’t apply before the deadline and later get a ti key on the waitlist you will NOT be guaranteed two guest passes

You would still be confused and expect that if you applied before the deadline you’d be guaranteed a ticket?

On the back of yours I just asked all three of mine
one in person , two on whatsapp

the responses

1. 🙄 can you drop me in town
2. mum. Stop reading mumsnet
3. errr. No 🤣. I didn’t have that on my list

Well thank goodness !

😆

It doesn’t MATTER what SHOULD have been the process

The fact is everyone invited KNEW the process!!

Looking at other unis, it seems initial emails were sent out Feb/March. Waiting till the end of May isn’t exactly prioritising the event!

And some of us think the process does matter. We think the university should allow all undergraduate students to attend a ceremony in July as long as they apply before a (reasonable) fixed date. We don't agree that it should be a first come first served scrum.

Sure

and that would be relevant to this op if they’d hidden the process from those they invited.

They didn’t. They made it abundantly clear

Quite s lot of processes in life are “unfair”, but if you really want something that following the process of going to deliver… you follow the process.

I can't believe this is still going on. All I can say is that the OP and Pikachu150 (aka OP'sDD) are going to get their minds blown when they hear about rolling recruitment processes for graduate jobs where the deadline might be at the end of May but all of the jobs have been filled by March..