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No turning upside down in the playground if you are wearing a dress unless you put your PE shorts on underneath

58 replies

DarthVader · 23/06/2008 18:08

My primary school has created a new rule that girls may not be upside down in the playground as their knickers will be on display. It is OK if they wear trousers or put on shorts under their skirts/ dresses.

I am v unhappy about the message this gives out to the girls & it reminds me of the Victorians covering up piano legs...

What should I do?

OP posts:
catkinq · 27/06/2008 00:26

this reminds me of my daughter coming home from school and saying "mummy when i got changed for swimming I went to take my knickers off and realsied that you'd forgotten to put any on me"!
School rule sounds mad by the way.

kristen80 · 28/07/2009 02:32

I believe that girls should wear skirts and be identifiably feminine but at the same time they need to wear something under them so that they can do physical activity. I also think it is a parents responsobility to make sure her children are appropriatly dressed. My daughters wear a pair of short bike pants under their skirt so that they can play and do carwheels and have fun but at the same time still be proud to be girls not girls dressed up to look like little boys.

ApplesinmyPocket · 28/07/2009 07:40

But knickers cover up little girls' 'bits'. So now we cover knickers with shorts... what next, pantaloons to cover the shorts? [hmmm]

bruffin · 28/07/2009 10:28

Isn't it a bit odd that this thread has been dug up from a year ago

kristen80 · 28/07/2009 23:01

Well I guess I should not read too many posts ahead.

I do apololise that I was not here a year ago when this may have been an acceptible topic.

The funny thing is that babies keep happening and so things that are of no interest to someone one year become interesting another year.

There you go.

missmem · 29/07/2009 11:31

At my son's old school there were a couple of 8 year old girls who wore thongs and lacey knickers. I think that is disgusting and I certainly don't think they should be hanging upside down if a child has them on. Why would you put an 8 year old in knickers like that? I assume it is not the norm.

franklymydear · 29/07/2009 11:41

ROFL at Kristen and your olde worlde modes of behaviour beliefs

mrz · 29/07/2009 12:31

missmem I think that is the problem - manufacturers make clothes for children that aren't suitable for the age of child perhaps if they allowed children to be children and parents stopped buying their daughters sexy clothes and undies the world would not be worrying about children playing.

kristen80 · 29/07/2009 21:21

So the way for me to be modern, up to date and to get with the times is to step back and let my kid wear what they like, do what they like, behave how they like.

If my view is old fashioned then so be it. In fact I am proud of it.

pagwatch · 29/07/2009 21:29

No. The way to be modern is dress your daughter in age appropriate clothes - including nice pants - andthen let her play like a little girl. Her knickers are not shameful.

This over enthusiatic obsession with the notion that a little girls normal play can be sexualised says very odd things about the people who come up with these rules.

Paglets knickers are very nice - and were nice last year too .

MrsMattie · 29/07/2009 21:32

The simple way to sole this would be to stop making girls wear stupid skirts to school. Trackie bottoms or nice comfy trousers are so much more pratcical for girls and boys.

Even so, there is nothing wrong with knix being on display during play. FGS, how can the school justify such a silly rule?

hocuspontas · 29/07/2009 21:55

When the girls hang upside down on the monkey bars the boys make sarky comments about Barbie or princess knickers or even go and smack bottoms. They've only got to notice skidmarks and they go crazy. We obviously put a stop to it straight away but it puts the girls in a position where they don't feel comfortable doing it. They also don't see the boys approaching as their dresses are over their eyes! We suggest tucking their dresses in their knickers if they are embarrassed.

This is not a major problem for us as it's an infant school. The school with the rule may be doing it because they are noticing girls being embarrassed and less inclined to climb and do handstands etc. Just a thought.

mrz · 30/07/2009 07:45

Actually I think there is something quite sad that people are so worried about small children showing their undies in a playground. Yes there are people out there who are attracted to small children but they aren't often found in school playgrounds.
I think by transferring adult behaviour expectations to small children we are taking away the innocence of childhood.

trickerg · 30/07/2009 17:31

I agree mrz - well put.

Hocuspocus- Our girls have to wear shorts under their dresses to do handstands, etc. Last month, a girl in my class (7y) was really upset because she'd forgotten hers, so I suggested that she tuck her dress in her knickers. The look of total horror on her face was a sight to behold!!

edam · 30/07/2009 17:40

Kristen80 - the may be because you dug up an ancient thread instead of starting a new one. Presumably a mistake?

Why do you think girls must be 'identifiably feminine'? What's wrong with girls wearing shorts or trousers if they want to?

I think the idea that girls must wear skirts and shorts under their skirts in case anyone catches a glimpse of their pants is quite odd, personally. It does tend to suggest the person with that idea thinks the female body is somehow unclean or disgusting. And that they think a child's body is even more disgusting.

edam · 30/07/2009 17:44

And it's quite weird that we live in society where young women are paid to take off their clothes, shops sell thongs for children and clothing with suggestive slogans, yet at the same time people panic about paedophiles on every street corner and stop parents taking photos of their own children at school plays... we are seriously fucked up.

FranSanDisco · 30/07/2009 17:57

My dd's school don't allow shorts for the girls as part of the uniform; trousers, skirts of summer dresses. However, some midday assistants have taken it upon themselves to tell the girls to wear their PE Shorts when doing cart wheels etc. I have told dd to ignore them as this really annoys me and in fact I think it's obligatory to show off your knickers without a care in the world at primary school . If it becomes policy the school should review allowing shorts.

kristen80 · 01/08/2009 23:10

Hi edam,

I think that putting girls in boy like clothes gives girls the message that to be someone in todays world you have to be a boy.

Years ago, there were womens roles (child rearing, keeping house and so on) and mens roles (being tough, fighting wars, running businesses, hunting mamoth )

Then along came this idea that girls should be allowed to do jobs that were traditionally male - and I support that. But then the message came through that in order to do a traditinally male job, you also have to do it in the traditionally male way. So rather than society opening up and saying hay girls you can do anything, the message was you can do the job only if you do it like a man. So work 5 days a week 9 to 5, go to the pub with guys on friday after work. Kids - men dont 'have kids' and so on. So girls would deny the things that they like and hey girls like dressing up and looking what I call feminine. To me it is part of girls identity.

My contention is that women should be able to chart their own course through society. To me, part of being a woman is making the choice to have kids for example. Now why should it be a society where you have to pretend to be a man to be successful in business??

To me having girls were skirts to school says you are a girl, be proud to be a girl.

Now the next bit - why to wear shorts under the skirt. Well sometimes little girls undies just end up looking like a rag scrunched up between their legs and half up their backsides. And besides, adult women do not tend to go doing cartwheels and hanging off monkey bars. So to me, by wearing bike pants under a skirt, a woman can look like a woman and still engage in physical activity.

There you go.

OnceWasSquiffy · 02/08/2009 09:04

Kristen, you are utterly, marvellously, mad.

My 'femininity' and my 'career' are utterly exclusive concepts, and your views on how women succeed in business went out of date circa 1990. Women succeed in business now because they are good at their jobs, end of. If they choose to do it in lipstick or dungarees, so be it. I don't give a shit what colour ties my male colleagues wear, and as far as I can tell, they don't give a shit whether or not I bother to put slap and a frilly blouse on.

faraday · 02/08/2009 09:44

Actually- though I may not agree entirely with kristen, I think she's right re women having to be 'one of the boys' to succeed in a traditionally male dominated work place. It's why the fastest growing group of alcoholics are found amongst young women. It's why fertility is an increasing issue for women becasue they delay childbearing so long in order to be 9-5 (8-7?) at work and to be SEEN to be there putting in the hours in order to get to the positions they aspire to.

Squiffy is fortunate if her workplace REALLY puts no store in a woman's appearance over that of a man.

As has been said, in 'Having it All'. most of us just ended up 'Doing it All'...

A PS. I work in a hospital in a job that requires outpatients to wear gowns. We had to rearrange our 2 lines of inward facing chairs to be all on a slight angle to each other because of the complaints we got from people saying that the men were sitting opposite them, in a gown, legs akimbo (like men do sit) waving it all to the wind! Admittedly, despite being told to 'Keep your undies on', many get hospital amnesia and strip RIGHT off!

MrsBadger · 02/08/2009 09:47

my workplace doesn't give a stuff about what anyone looks like, and it certainly seems to have no bearing on career progression

but then it is academia

I suggest better quality knickers

Petit Bateau ones are fab, cover a lot, don't ride up, don;t have Barbie on, are still feminine and are nothing to be ashamed of when upside down.

mrz · 02/08/2009 09:50

kristen80 surely the message you are giving is that a glimpse of a small child's underwear is something to be ashamed of and it is only possible to have physical fun if you cover up your female clothes with (once considered masculine) shorts??

LynetteScavo · 02/08/2009 10:05

But if I put shorts on my daughter under her skirt - no one will see she is wearing Boden pants.

franklymydear · 02/08/2009 10:12

So a girl who refuses to wear a skirt ever is not a proper girl?

Is that your contention?

Remind me to tell DD1

edam · 02/08/2009 10:18

Kirsten, thing is girls are all different. They are individuals. Some will like wearing skirts and dressing up and frills and pink. That's fine. Others will like trousers and football. That's fine too. Some may even like wearing skirts, playing with dolls AND football.

You have a point that workplaces are not sufficiently family friendly. Capitalism has subverted feminism very neatly. But that doesn't mean we should tell little girls to be ashamed of their bodies, far from it.