AIBU to think 100% attendance awards are fundamentally unfair?

[Nijiko]

My child has severe asthma and is on immunosuppressants, so occasional school absences are just part of life for us unfortunately. Hospital appointments can only be taken in school hours, and when they catch a bug they don’t easily “bounce back” in a couple of days like many other kids do. Even a simple cold can wipe them out.

So yes, I have to keep them home a bit longer if something nasty is going round. Because they need to recover properly and risk ending up back in hospital.

But what’s upset me is the attendance awards at school.

My child has never had one and realistically never will. Not because they don’t try hard at school or because we don’t value education. But because their body is disadvantaged.

The awards were handed out last week and my child just sat there knowing, yet again, they’d never be one of the children called up. To be honest, they knew that they wouldn't before the school year even started.

And honestly? It is a slap in the face constantly for them due to something they can't control. I find that heartbreaking.

I know schools are under pressure about attendance, but I can’t help feeling these awards mostly reward children for being healthy/lucky enough not to get ill.

And I also think they encourage people to send poorly kids in. We all know families who dose them up with Calpol and hope for the best.

Our school makes us evidence every medical appointment. When I was young, if you were sick your parents were trusted advicate. Sometimes it feels like parents are treated as guilty until proven innocent if they keep an ill child off school - to protect them and other kids from getting sick.

Maybe I’m overthinking it. But I don’t really understand why children should be publicly rewarded for something other children, through absolutely no fault of their own, can literally never achieve. It feels like health discrimination. I would much rather see children rewarded for exceptional efforts in their learning.

AIBU?

Attendance is the only award my son ever receives. Take that away and he would get no recognition.

I’m not sure op…I think the vast majority would not send an unwell child into school for glory of a certificate/award as you suggest! I’m 3 children in a yet to have one achieve 💯…also my children’s school would send them home if deemed too unwell to be there.

Generally fit and well children should have to go to school with sniffles etc and it’s not bad for them to either otherwise they would be forever home. It must me tricky having a child who is severely effected by such illnesses but it’s not the majority and they could just as easily pick this up anywhere else, another sibling.

I have never thought of the attendance award as as a pat on the back for dragging your severely unwell child into school all year rather a deterrent for the naughty parents that are too tight to pay the extra for their skiing trip and go the week before half term (maybe just a problem at my children’s school 😂 and I do appreciate that there are families that would never be able to afford it in the school holidays) while the rest of us obey the rules, whether that means not sneaking off in term time or sends by an unwell child into school…would honestly not cross my mind to send them in unwell for the dangling carrot of an award at the end of the year 🤣 And then of course there are parents that don’t have flex/help and possibly do have to perk them up with calpol. While I see your point, I don’t think it applies to the majority.

It’s a crappy piece of paper! There are other ways your kid can get recognition. By trying hard and being good at things for a start, or being kind.
It won’t kill him to see others being rewarded when he isn’t.

Then he attends a school with a very poor management as there’s no chance in the world that is his only achievement in a school year.

Yes I hate it. My DS was diagnosed with cancer in his first year of infants, so he’s never had 100% through his entire school life.

Primary wasn’t so bad, school understood and did their best to be supportive and agreed to not count the days missed by appointments, but would count being off for usual childhood sickness (so putting him in the same chance as others)

Secondary school was pretty awful. His school placed massive emphasis on sickness, and would reward hugely based on it. So DS missed all end of year treats. I really faught for it and they eventually gave in at year 11. The ironic this is, take away his check ups, he had 2 sick days off in his entire secondary school life.
It was just devastating to him. He’d been through chemo, operations and been left disabled and for that reason he didn’t get to go to the theme park with his mates. Just felt so unnecessary.

I don’t know what they were trying to prove 🤷🏼‍♀️

Our company used to reward 100% attendance with an extra day’s holiday, but that was deemed to be discriminatory so it stopped.
if it’s discriminatory for a workplace…

He goes to the best school in the area. It probably isnt his only achievement, but it's the only 'award' he receives. He isnt academic, sporty or creative and they don't just make up certificates for the nice kids.

It may be the best school, but a school that can only give a child an attendance certificate at the end of year awards is run by poor management.

There absolutely will be something that your DS deserves recognition for his effort in, his school are just too lazy to find it. In 20+ years of working in schools I cannot think of a single child whose only achievement was attendance.

Do you think every child should get a certificate for something at the end of the year?

I think a school that gives out awards should do it in a non lazy way - basic attendance awards are lazy (as well as discriminatory). Either do awards properly or don’t do them.

The best primary school I worked in gave every child an award, but a meaningful one to that child.

Others gave some children awards but not all, but the awards were only given for outstanding effort or achievement.

I really dislike the attendance policies.

DD had a blood test recently and it had to be done in hospital during school time as it’s the only time the clinic runs. I enquired about absence and they said they had to log it as authorised leave, but explained that for their purposes DD had full attendance and would still get the relevant attendance prize that half term. I was pleased common sense prevails albeit disappointed they reward attendance in the first place.

Every child can’t win every award, otherwise awards would be meaningless! Different children can and do achieve different things in different areas and there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging those achievements. Sure someone is always going to be left out

He's in high school. I guess attendance is more important in high school than primary. I do happen to think that attendance is important so im quite happy he is usually rewarded for it. He won't get it this year though as he's been off a bit. I'm sure he won't mind.

Really? I don’t think the school timetable was really on my mother in laws mind when she booked her husband’s funeral.

What’s wrong with showing a bit of compassion to a bereaved child, instead of punishing them further for their loss

No, not really (obviously).

I was being facetious about the absolute absurdity of attendance awards.

@HobGobblynne Are you for real? What a bizarre comment! Or was it a joke?

@MeetMeOnTheCorner

presuming you haven’t read the full thread?

My daughter really wanted the 100% attendance award. She had all the other awards you can get. I discouraged her, but she was dead set on it. She got 100% attendance for the whole school year with one exception - an afternoon missed for her annual cardiology appointment due to her heart defect. We don't get to choose this appointment. The specialist holds satellite clinics once every 2 months at our local hospital. There's no appointments outside of school hours.

I asked the school if they would consider still giving her the award as the cardiology appointment is an annual appointment she cannot miss (and will eb the case for her entire life)
They said no.

I think they are abhorrent - especially when a child or family member has already been punished by being made ill by a child (or teacher) attending when they shouldn’t have. Forcing illness onto others by attending when sick should not be rewarded. It was a cost of £10 per year per child for implementing air cleaning filters in schools (buying, running, maintaining). These have been proven to help attendance, reduce illness, help children and teachers with asthma, hayfever etc, reduce viral loads, improve test results, help concentration. Given how many children now have long covid (and parents and teachers), it is bizarre that just on the rising cost of lost health, education and employment from that one virus alone, air in schools hasn’t been addressed.

How do they not take a step back and think "are we being heartless bastards?"

so reading the thread and the points about not everyone can win every award etc

as a mum to a really sick child I hate attendance awards.
she doesn’t win sports day, academic awards, never got her pen license, not so much as a world book day award in her 7 years of school.
the only one I disagree with is the attendance awards especially those which come with a day trip / treat etc
you can’t sit there and not reward children for doing better than kids who have been sick. It is not the same thing as someone winning first place in the relay race.

My children will never have 100% attendance unless drugged heavily with paracetamol abd ibuprofen. And even then they will be feeling unwell at school.
No going to happen.

We relocated to Scandinavia this school year to a school system which simply doesn't care about a few days off sick.
We love it.

Madness. Pure madness.

Surely every child knows that those things are just made up awards? As in they dont mean anything important and more like sympathy awards for kids who won’t get other types ? My child would be embarrassed to get such an award.

That's, well basically all nonsense with comparisons that are not remotely accurate.