AIBU to think 100% attendance awards are fundamentally unfair?

[Nijiko]

My child has severe asthma and is on immunosuppressants, so occasional school absences are just part of life for us unfortunately. Hospital appointments can only be taken in school hours, and when they catch a bug they don’t easily “bounce back” in a couple of days like many other kids do. Even a simple cold can wipe them out.

So yes, I have to keep them home a bit longer if something nasty is going round. Because they need to recover properly and risk ending up back in hospital.

But what’s upset me is the attendance awards at school.

My child has never had one and realistically never will. Not because they don’t try hard at school or because we don’t value education. But because their body is disadvantaged.

The awards were handed out last week and my child just sat there knowing, yet again, they’d never be one of the children called up. To be honest, they knew that they wouldn't before the school year even started.

And honestly? It is a slap in the face constantly for them due to something they can't control. I find that heartbreaking.

I know schools are under pressure about attendance, but I can’t help feeling these awards mostly reward children for being healthy/lucky enough not to get ill.

And I also think they encourage people to send poorly kids in. We all know families who dose them up with Calpol and hope for the best.

Our school makes us evidence every medical appointment. When I was young, if you were sick your parents were trusted advicate. Sometimes it feels like parents are treated as guilty until proven innocent if they keep an ill child off school - to protect them and other kids from getting sick.

Maybe I’m overthinking it. But I don’t really understand why children should be publicly rewarded for something other children, through absolutely no fault of their own, can literally never achieve. It feels like health discrimination. I would much rather see children rewarded for exceptional efforts in their learning.

AIBU?

Pretty sure no one is going to disagree op

The kids who don’t have 100% attendance aren’t having something taken off them, but going in every day is an achievement and one of the more valuable habits for the world of work. In any given year a child could “get away” with not going in a couple of times if they didn’t fancy it, claiming a vague illness.

The positive choices and behaviour should absolutely be recognised and celebrated.

you could argue that sporting success or academic achievement are also largely down the genetics and luck and there’s plenty of rewards for them

I agree, but....

So many other things at school that children are praised for are also difficult/impossible for some children.

My, at that time undiagnosed, dyspraxic DDs were never going to get picked and praised for sports teams, or 'pen licenses' for example. In fact the only thing DD2 ever did get recognised for was attendance.

Attendance awards aren’t just unfair, they actively harm medically fragile students.

Students bringing illness to school spread those germs to medically fragile students. Those students can’t push through. They end up seriously ill and even hospitalized.

So often a mild cold has meant a week or more of serious illness and steroids for my asthmatic child.

I agree. No one's punishing your kids by not having an award. They are just praising the kids that do have 100-% attendance.

DD doesn't have 100% attendance. It is what it is. I'm not going to get upset that someone else's child gets an award. Bigger fish to fry me thinks!

I agree with @HermioneWeasley and @TeenToTwenties. Yes, it's fundamentally unfair but so are lots of things. My kids are grown up now but as children I had one who got 100% attendance all the way through KS1, and one who never would due to illness. I don't feel my poorly child was treated unfairly as a result.

@TeenToTwenties

Your DD deserved recognition for persevering despite her difficulties ...but that’s exactly why schools could celebrate effort, improvements instead of making “perfect” the gold standard.

For some children, 100% attendance is impossible through no fault of their own - and I would say discriminatory. I do think also thar rewarding it so heavily pressures parents to send poorly kids in - which risks people's health (disadvantaging others).

I do get your point, but I still think attendance awards are different.

They’re very ableist.

It’s an emotive subject as some will say they are the only award some kids will get, but fundamentally they award presenteeism and turning up spreading your germs even when poorly. It’s another way school trains kids up for working a job where it’s frowned upon to take time off and where you put the needs of the company/boss/greater good above your body’s needs.

Exactly my point. It is worse than discrimination- it is harmful to their health.

"Congratulations for being healthy" or "Congratulations for spreading germs".

Thats what they are for. Getting chicken pox, or having a dentist appointment, or needing regular hospital tests etc are not moral failings.

An award, as in a bit of paper, I don't really care about. But a local school used to do trips for the 100% attendees, and that was very unfair.

Absolutely, we are training young people not to respect their own health or the health of others!

Positive behaviour that is a choice should be rewarded but I don't see why children should be rewarded just because they haven't been sick all year.
Apart from anything i don't think it is positive behaviour to go into school or work if you are sick . All you end up doing is pass it on to others. If anything schools should encourage children to stay away if they are sick!

I agree, I have 3 dc either leftovers or nearing the end of their education.
Dc1 is immunocompromised and has an amazing work ethic and would often be up all night but insist on going to school. A good year was 80% and I always felt the work ethic and determination should be rewarded.
Dc2 has no ill health issues and 100% attendance is often reached but has to put no effort in to attending.
Dc3 has 5 consultants who at best want to see them twice yearly, thats 10 hospital appointments minimum a year before we have ill healthdue to disability or ill health due to what ever bug is going around (which always takes longer to fight off). Is doing really well this year at 85%.
The effort to go to school is immense but that is never recognised by school. Dc1 and 3 have/had lower attendance but always put more effort into being there than many of their peers.

Absolutely. Far from it!

And some infections harm people in the long run too - children aren't invulnerable. We should be far more invested in keeping them healthy - because it isn't guaranteed.

And weirdly these awards have become SO prevalent since the pandemic. How backwards is that?!

I home educate my DC (& am an ex primary teacher) and it blows my mind really as I often tell my kids to always listen to their bodies, to rest when poorly and to stay home and not spread their germs when they’re sick.

But we all know that fundamentally the children’s health is the lowest priority on their list of priorities.

No, it isn't just that.

Some schools have draws for vouchers - up to £100. I have seen iPads up for grabs, even a family holiday!

So it is actually bribery and discrimination against those who can never achieve it due to their health conditions.

Back in the day we just used to go to school and all the kids were treated the same. I don’t know when all this “special award” stuff started.

I think if its just a piece of paper kind of award I don’t mind it, I was unwell as a child and spent a lot of time in & out of hospital so was never a 100% attendance kid and it never bothered me to see others getting their certificate.

I do have an issue if it is made bigger than that though. One of our local primary schools a few years ago now did it as a “kids with 100% got an ice cream at break” and that was all done infront of the full school with an ice cream van turning up JUST for the kids with 100%- they got a lot of stick for that and haven’t done it since.

Well the point is discrimination - if an award is inaccessible to certain children then it is inherently unfair... and for children with health issues who have realised this for themselves really feel it.

I got a book voucher for gettinv 100% attendance in the 90s.

I have an asthmatic child. I hear you. Never achieved 100% attendance. He’s punished every year for basically having asthma. My daughter on the other had always achieved over 98%. I don’t feel proud of her award at the end of the school year.

It is good to hear that they learnt from this. Perhaps there is hope!

For most kids, attending every day is much better than not. It's something to be encouraged.

Obviously, for a small number, treatment or recovery is essential, and has to come first. But absence still affects their education.

You shouldn't be annoyed that they won't win an award designed to improve everyone's chances, but that they're not accessing what's on offer at school because of the appointments that have to take priority and aren't education friendly.

This!

Do people actually feel proud if their child did get one - through either being lucky or healthy?

Wouldn't people be far more proud of awards that recognised something that was a real effort and achievement for them?