School staff member took my child’s toy (for his own child) after confiscating items for sale

[Busyybee]

My DC has recently been selling squishy toys at school, he’s an entrepreneur in the making. However we told him it wasn’t a good idea and he carried on.

On Friday he got caught and his teacher gave me his school bag which contained ‘his stock’. They asked me to not allow him to bring them in as it’s not allowed. I told them I’m glad they’ve said it to him & he won’t be bringing them again. As the teacher handed me the bag, another staff member who works at the school asked to see what he was selling and went on to take 1 squishy & said ‘this will be nice for my daughter’. My DC asked him for the money & the staff member said ‘No, your lucky I didn’t take the lot’

My DC asked the staff member for the money or squishy back & he said ‘Na na your not getting it back, your lucky it wasn’t (deputy head) as she would of taken the lot’

This doesn’t sit right with me, value is only £1 but it’s the principle. What is this teaching the children?

What do I do about this?

Well five of them turned up after a parent sent a WhatsApp message to their childs’ school. It’s easy pickings to clear up their crime rates, so why wouldn’t they ?

As PPs have said, it doesn't matter what people's individual thoughts are, what the teacher did was illegal and teachers have it drummed into them that this is the case. The teacher clearly thinks it is fine to behave in a way they know is illegal at school so this needs to be highlighted to the school and addressed with the teacher.

And you think they shouldn't be sanctioned for taking a confiscated item and giving it to their daughter? You're happy for them to openly and unapologetically break school rules themselves? You're more concerned with the effects of one badly behaved child than the effects of a badly behaved teacher?

I remember YEARS ago when DS2 was at primary school. I found a letter in his book bag from a mum asking could we please return little Matthew’s (teeny tiny) Lego man because he was upset that he’d lost it and thought my son might have it. I wrote back saying that I had no idea what she was talking about (I didn’t) and that if the loss of something that shouldn’t have been taken to school anyway was causing little Matthew so much distress then perhaps he could be advised of the rules and desist from taking banned items into the school. I thought “piss off”
Never heard further.

It’s the principle of it. Staff member didn’t confiscate it to return at a later date when DC has proven to have stopped selling squishys. Instead he stole it, setting a poor example to your DC that adults cannot be trusted and to his own child that stealing is ok. I despair at how people like this end up working with impressionable children.
I would go to the head, ask for the money or suggest staff member makes a £5 donation to a charity of DC’s choice.

I mean as a parent my focus would be on my incredibly disobedient child here and my ineffectiveness as a parent. The teacher can keep said cheap tat.

Noone comes out of this well, not the squishy stealing member of staff, the teacher who apparently witnessed this and did nothing, not your son and especially not you @Busyybee . If your son goes through life thinking that he only has to follow the rules that suit him (and his Mummy thinks reasonable) he's in for a world of pain, and you will have contributed to that.

I agree.

If the parent can't see why their child learning history and RE is important then bloody hell. Another selfish individual bringing up more selfish individuals that can't respect other world views and experiences.

The teacher shouldn't have taken the squishy, but fgs, parent your child properly and the damn things wouldn't even be in school!

If it was me i would go to the head.

The consequence for selling items at school is not having one of them stolen by a teacher.

You should make an appointment with the head to discuss appropriate consequences for your child selling items at school and to demand your child's property back.

You should also support the school's rules and not let your child decide not to obey them. You could have and should have said no and taken the toys off your child. It really doesnt matter what other kids do. That's for the school to sort out with them and their parents.

It's not a flea market, it's a school. You let him do it because all his friends are doing it? What else will you be OK with as long as his friends are doing it? Drinking in the park? Vaping? Smoking? Drugs?

He's not an entrepreneur, he's just following the herd and bringing tat to school. You let him buy them and you let him take them to school. The teacher is acting very strangely but the fact you are focused on him "stealing" a squishy rather than your child's behaviour and your complicity is ridiculous. If I was the teacher I'd have confiscated them and left them on a radiator for the rest of the term and he would get back a sticky mess.

I've taken a good number of 999 calls in my time, and you are correct.
The one on Christmas morning about a turkey not defrosting quickly enough was a good one.
Also one from a man ringing to report that his local take away wasn't open.
These people walk amongst us.😀

Jesus, I mean, it's weird but it's such a small issue that I wouldn't even give it the headspace. On the bright side, your DC will be an excellent entrepreneur, so I'd not discourage it TBH.

Can't believe posters saying tell the police! FFS we are doomed.

So you let your child do whatever he wants! Brilliant.
Is this a school or some kind of marketplace?
It sounds like utter chaos.

I agree that the teacher was wrong and that you should raise the issue with the school.
But you lost my sympathy when you asked about the value of history and RE. At this particular time in history I would have thought that it's obvious to everyone why knowledge about our past is very important as is understanding other people's belief systems.
An understanding of history and religion is much more important than being able to make a few pennies by selling toys

This concerns me too as even most of the cheaper ones on Temu are more than £1 each. He's obviously really dug down to get the very cheapest possible option and god knows what they are made of. OP might well find herself with a lawsuit on her hands if a child gets injured because of her son's "small business".

There's a lot more to being entrepreneurial than selling cheap junk (which is potentially dangerous) to kids at school. Especially as he only sold 3. He probably didn't even make his money back.

The problem is, we don’t want education anymore. We simply want to fit children into being suitable worker drones. Unless it’s directly related to immediate employment, training is useless. That, in my view, is a poor approach to what one would want for children, particularly one’s own children.

But if limiting our children in such a way is all that matters, then broadening their minds, widening their understanding and choices and enriching their lives is irrelevant.

You learn by making mistakes. Children who are afraid to make mistakes become unadventurous and don’t get on very well with education, in the long run.

Up until this point I had some sympathy for you. What you should be doing is teaching your child that school is for learning, and teaching him that you are the parent and if you tell him not to do something then he doesn’t do it. Not that ‘you don’t have a leg to stand on’. Appalling.

Are you for real?
The OP will be the laugh of the police beat room at the station.

Selling to a captive audience with undeveloped critical thinking skills is easy and exploitative, hence why schools don't allow selling things on the premises. Deliberately breaking a rule that is there for good reason is not "making a mistake", he knew it wasn't allowed. "Business owners" who break the law to exploit people go to prison. There's a reason he didn't keep them at home to sell them out of school- because with parental oversight and internet access, no-one would have been buying them, and because seeking out buyers and selling them on your own time is a lot harder than giving them out during your lunchbreak.

What an arse that teacher is. I'd complain to the HT and take it further if needed. Absolutely fine for them to be confiscated, a rollicking to be given, or the item given back at the end of term - but nicking stuff for your own child? Nah, not on.

The school needs to tighten up on the behaviour of its own teachers, and sort out the rules re pupils selling stuff. Either they turn a blind eye to it or they don't.

It does sound like a flea market rather than a school.😀

My child was wrong & I won’t sit here and deny it. However as a staff member it’s very appropriate in my view to have taken that step. It’s not about the item, I couldn’t care less if it was returned as like I said earlier that’s a lesson learned for my child that when you don’t listen things get taken away - but doesn’t justify the staff member taking it home to his child!

Why on earth would you think that's ok? How old is he? This is terrible