What would you do if your DC was made to wait for you on the street when you are late to pick up?

[mammya]

Tonight I was late picking up my dd from after-school club, because of problems on the Tube, and I arrived at 6.15, when normally I pick her up at about 5.30. DD (7) was waiting outside the school with the after-school club workers. They told me the caretaker told them to leave at 6.10 as he was locking up.

The thing is, this has happened once before, again when I was late because of problems on the tube, and at the time I brought it up with the headteacher, who agreed with me that it wasn't acceptable, for all sorts of reasons. According to him, the after-school club workers have the keys, they are allowed to stay after the caretaker has left as long as they make sure to lock the gate properly. According to the after-school club play leader, they weren't allowed to stay after 6 for insurance reasons. The HT denied this was the case

I am about this and plan to go to the school tomorrow morning to request an appointment with the headteacher, the caretaker and the after-school club leader, so that we can discuss what should be done when a parent is late like this, as is bound to happen from time to time.

So dear mumsnetters, would you be angry and what would you do if that happened to your dc? Am I being unreasonable to think this is unacceptable?

Havent read the whole thread, but on the face of it I think the OP is being highly unreasonable. Her children were being cared for by responsible adults, even though they had finished their duty.
Slightly different (though relevant) situation happened with a friend of mine (teacher) who organised a school trip. The parents were all informed of the collection time when the coach arrived back. After almost an hour, one pupil had still not been collected. As the trip leader, my friend had told the other staff members to go home, while she waited with the pupil (this was around 8 pm by now). My friend then had a serious dilemna: she was due to pick up her own 13 yr old daughter a couple of miles away, but was stuck looking after the pupil whose parents hadnt shown up. I felt this was a totally unacceptable situation - why should the safety of my friends child be jeapordised because she was having to take responsibility unreasonably for someone elses kid??

I didn't realise this was still going...

The reason I don't like my dd to be waiting on the pavement is that this is a rough area of East London. If you knew it I daresay quite a few of you would think the same. I spoke about this to other parents at the school and funnily enough all of them agreed with me that waiting outside the school is not acceptable.

I did not neglect to provide the ASC with an emergency contact. They do have it, but as someone pointed out, I phoned them before the ASC closed so they had no reason to call it. I did try to call my mate who lives near the school but she wasn't available.

Also I'd like to point out that I DID apologise to the ASC workers for my lateness, I am not rude, and I didn't have a go at them. It's not with them that I am angry, it's with the confusion over the late pick up policy.

Today I went to the school office and asked what their policy was, and they said that the ASC workers had been asked by the HT not to wait outside in case a parent was late for pick up. They also told me that the ASC workers had asked the caretaker to lock up and that they would wait outside. This is not what they told me yesterday: they said that they were told by the caretaker to leave because he needed to lock up. Not the same at all.

I also went to see the lady that was in charge of the breakfast club this morning, and asked if I could see their late pick up policy. She didn't have it and told me she would ask the manager and they would get back to me.

Are the streets really that bad in East London? I'm intrigued.....I live the leafy suburbs of a small town, and nothing ever happens around here. The worst thing that could happen standing on a pavement around here is you'd get mowed down by a small child on a scooter.

how old was the child

She is 7

at the lack of actually reading the OP on this thread!!!!!

If it is that rough perhaps then the staff dont want to be hanging around much after 6pm either - hence why they waited for you on the street so they could get a quick getaway .

Anyway when you phoned them at 5.45pm how long did you tell them you would be , I did ask that before but got no answer to it .

I can see why you think it would be better to wait inside, but that fact that it's a rough area means that perhaps there is more responsibility on the part of the person locking up, not to mention that maybe they might be personally at risk during while they are doing it?

Why would a breakfast club need a late pick-up policy? Surely the session ends by the kids going into school?

Blimey is it too rough in your area for a child to stand on the street with an adult at 6pm?

I find this deeply shocking and it makes me think I am out of touch as I live in a small city.

It's all very well saying you'd be willing to pay extra for having been late but, in practice, that was not going to happen in this case. The play leader waiting with your DD could hardly have accepted you waving a fiver at her. So, she knows that, in reality, you being late encroaches on her good will, until or unless the school sets up an official policy on payment in such circumstances. And as I bet you're not the only one to be late occasionally, this probably happens quite often for her.
You said you'd decided not to kick up a fuss about it but, in my view, the very fact that you went to the office and asked about it indicates that you had a problem with their actions, when I think that you should have been just grateful for them having taken care of DD when you were stuck.

If your daughter is at risk of being outside her school with other adults with her I'd change her school.

but OP - do you not then walk along those same streets with your DD when you pick her up???

If so - what makes it so much safer for her walking along them with you, than standing there with another responsible adult???

How rough it this area? Well according to the local newspaper, two people were shot last week outside an children's indoor play centre. Changing school to another one in the same area wouldn't really solve anything.

CaptainUnderpants, when I phoned them at 5.45 I could not tell them how long I would be, as I was still waiting for a bus, and there was no guarantee that when it arrived I would be able to board it as there were many other people in the same situation as me.

Well FAQ that might be completely irrational of me but I'd rather my DD was with me than with anyone else in such a situation, even if that's not going to make her any safer. Of course I have to walk or cycle through those streets but for some reason that doesn't seem as bad as just standing there.

Clam, the breakfast club and the after-school club are run by the same people, which is why I asked the breakfast club lady as I knew I wouldn't have time to see the after-school club workers that afternoon (dd doesn't go to the ASC on Fridays as I work from home that day, and we had a doctor's appointment straight after school). And yes I do have a problem with their action (or in this case and according to them, with the caretaker for asking them to leave), as they were explicitely asked by the head teacher not to wait outside the school. That doesn't mean I wasn't grateful to them for having taken care of dd.

Couldn't you have got a taxi rather than wait for a bus? Surely that would have been quicker.

Scotia, I'm sure that mammya exhausted all avenues of trying to get to the school as quickly as she could. No-one would have been more aware of the possible options than she was. However, that's not really the point here, though, is it? She was unavoidably late, which happens in life. And the after school club's policy on what to do in such circumstances seems unclear. The question is, was she unreasonable (wrong thread title??) 1)in being cross that DD was waiting in the street and 2) that different people are telling her different things. I would say yes to the first, but no to the second.

Sounds like she has already been involved in this wrangle before, which is why she knows (or thinks) that the headteacher has told the support staff to stay in the building with children whose parents are late. I'm assuming that the support staff are aware that they were looking after a child whose parent had already complained about standing outside, and they still chose to wait outside.

The politics of the stuation sound like a nightmare, and I would be worried that the patience of the after school club staff was wearing very thin. I would look for alternative childcare or cast-iron emergency back-up before it happens again... Not saying that they would leave her or call SS, but several people have said that her DD could be asked to leave if she can't be picked up on time reliably.

Clam has summed it up very well -

The question is, was she unreasonable

1)in being cross that DD was waiting in the street - YES

2. that different people are telling her different things. - NO

Agree with Clam

Also, Mammya, if you didn't know how long you would be, why didn't you call one of your emergency numbers to collect instead?

Oh clam, stupid, stupid me, I didn't realise there were no taxis in London.

Be careful OP you don't feature in the next school newsletter

When I waited with a child for 70mins on top of a 8 hour coach journey after a week's residential & the parent drew up in the car, bundled the child in with nary a word of thanks, guess who was the focus of the Head's excoriating comments her weekly column?!

(Scotia, I think if the tubes had turfed out and there are massive queues for buses instead the chances of getting a cab are very slim as everyone else will be trying to get one too...)

(and anyway, it's not the point of this post. Fact is, she was late, and is querying the school's actions)