What would you do if your DC was made to wait for you on the street when you are late to pick up?

[mammya]

Tonight I was late picking up my dd from after-school club, because of problems on the Tube, and I arrived at 6.15, when normally I pick her up at about 5.30. DD (7) was waiting outside the school with the after-school club workers. They told me the caretaker told them to leave at 6.10 as he was locking up.

The thing is, this has happened once before, again when I was late because of problems on the tube, and at the time I brought it up with the headteacher, who agreed with me that it wasn't acceptable, for all sorts of reasons. According to him, the after-school club workers have the keys, they are allowed to stay after the caretaker has left as long as they make sure to lock the gate properly. According to the after-school club play leader, they weren't allowed to stay after 6 for insurance reasons. The HT denied this was the case

I am about this and plan to go to the school tomorrow morning to request an appointment with the headteacher, the caretaker and the after-school club leader, so that we can discuss what should be done when a parent is late like this, as is bound to happen from time to time.

So dear mumsnetters, would you be angry and what would you do if that happened to your dc? Am I being unreasonable to think this is unacceptable?

It's the same price whatever the time you pick up, fortyplus. I usually pick her up at 5.30 to have a buffer in case of Tube delays. Doesn't always work, obviously...

Have a good time - where are you going?

mammya - ok... I give you that... only 15 mins late, then!

Bet you have a great time

I am snorting now! I do worry about your self esteem

Night - have a good day - I'm off to bed now, too

I think the theory is that social services can then take charge of the child, and place them somewhere temporarily. But this is only meant to be used where there is significant lateness and the school/nursery/club cannot contact any carer. It's not unreasonable, after all as otherwise one (or two for chaperoning) person would have to stay on site, in a possibly unsuitable venue for an unknown time.

mummaya, I am pretty sure our playworkers take all their paperwork with them, so would have emergency contact numbers on them after 6.00 pm. The rooms they use for the playclub are used by other groups of people, so they cannot leave anything personal in them. The workers also have a work mobile phone where they can store parent's emergency contact numbers.

As parents give these numbers as 'emergency' numbers, presumably the playworkers must be able to access them out of hours. It's worth asking your playworkers what the system is, but IMO it would be unlikely that they have no access to them after 6.00 pm.

Re-reading your message, I see the playworkers were not cross with you. I agree you could clarify with the caretaker and playworkers about emergencies, but in a 'thanking them for being there' type of way. And can you give them a few more emergency numbers if possible so they have more chance of finding a person to pick up your dd?

Also, if you emphasise too much that your own travel arrangements can be unreliable, the playworkers may ask you to find alternative care for your dd, as they cannot guarantee to provide emergency cover.

Even quarter of an hour late is too much. When I was a Beaver Leader I needed the DCs picked up on time, I was really stuck otherwise because I couldn't leave a Beaver but I also had my own child care arrangements and timing was crucial. I would suggest that OP apologises profusely and doesn't start making a great fuss.

Yes, but this isn't The Beavers or other voluntarey run organisation. I would never use The Beavers as my after-school childcare. The OP has already said she has an extra 30 minutes built into her journey to allow for lateness. Lateness outside your control can still happen and weather you are a CM, nursery or ASC you do need to be able to to cater for this.

I would also be interested in what those posters who find this so totally unacceptable would do in OP's scenario? Smash the tube windows and walk down the tunnel to the platform?

She was unavoidably late-she should just apologise and not kick up a tremendous fuss.

When you phoned at 5.45pm , did you give a possible time of arrival ?

Perhpas the play workers thought that you weren't going to be much longer and thought for YOU it might be more convinent for YOU that they wait outside for a quick hand over .

I would be very apologetic for being late and not really be making a fuss about it .

I would be very careful how I tread here - your DD is old enough to wait outside with the play workers.

They get paid crap wages and helped YOU out , the caretaker probably gets crap wages aswell.

It is your responsibilty to get your child cae and pick up arrangemenst in order if you feel that your tarvel home is not reliable.

You should be grateful that you are not charged for the lateness unlije day acre nurseries who would have the clock ticking and the extra bill prepared by the time you got there !

Just accept that it was one of those things and leave it be . Give the play workers a box of chocolates or biscuits for their patience.

Of course nobody is suggesting that the OP should walk down the tube track or hijack a car to get to the ASC on time! What we are suggesting (I think) is that she should try to find a friend or neighbour who could - in dire emergencies - be rung up at 5.45pm and be able to get to the ASC to collect dd before it closes at 6pm.

I still cannot understand what the problem is with waiting on the pavement in the charge of a responsible adult. What harm will it do? Lots of people have asked this and the OP doesn't seem to be answering.

I just find this astounding.

Why on earth should ASC workers be obliged to wait for (reading some of the messages) up to 2 hours after closing time? That's what emergency contact numbers are for - if none of your contacts were available/contactable, bin them ASAP and find other ones. In Fairymum's scenario of being stuck in a tube for 2 hours, do you really think the ASC worker should have just waited (inside the building of course ) until someone turned up?? Of course SS should be contacted in an instance like that.

Anyone who uses the tube knows that half an hour isn't really enough leeway to leave in case of delay IMO. The question is, assuming that you will be late sometimes if that's all the time you have spare, do you think the school should cover the difference or you should?

I would not rely on 'breaking the tube windows' but have at least two other parents or emergency contacts. I can't imagine just leaving it to fate if the tube is delayed...

Also, a lot of people seem think that the after-school care is some kind of god-given right. We only have an ASC at DDs' school because of the concerted efforts of some parents to get it going, it lasts till 5pm, and the headteacher is often pointing out that they have no responsiblity to provide breakfast club or after school care if there is a suitable alternative within a certain distance, which there is.

I agree that I have always felt obliged to get a CM to take my children if unreliable transport means I cannot be sure to pick them up on time. And CMs charge extra if you are late.

Having said this- I still understand what's wrong with waiting on the pavement?

She wasn't left alone. I don't see the problem really.

I think everyone realises that sometimes you may be unavoidably late, the playleaders must have assumed that mammya would be along at any minute since they hadn't had a call from her and so waited outside. I don't see what else they should have done. I can't see why mammya finds this unacceptable and wants to demand a meeting with the Head,playworkers and caretaker!