What would you do if your DC was made to wait for you on the street when you are late to pick up?

[mammya]

Tonight I was late picking up my dd from after-school club, because of problems on the Tube, and I arrived at 6.15, when normally I pick her up at about 5.30. DD (7) was waiting outside the school with the after-school club workers. They told me the caretaker told them to leave at 6.10 as he was locking up.

The thing is, this has happened once before, again when I was late because of problems on the tube, and at the time I brought it up with the headteacher, who agreed with me that it wasn't acceptable, for all sorts of reasons. According to him, the after-school club workers have the keys, they are allowed to stay after the caretaker has left as long as they make sure to lock the gate properly. According to the after-school club play leader, they weren't allowed to stay after 6 for insurance reasons. The HT denied this was the case

I am about this and plan to go to the school tomorrow morning to request an appointment with the headteacher, the caretaker and the after-school club leader, so that we can discuss what should be done when a parent is late like this, as is bound to happen from time to time.

So dear mumsnetters, would you be angry and what would you do if that happened to your dc? Am I being unreasonable to think this is unacceptable?

A bunch of flowers or a box of chocs for the playworkers who had to wait would be her better option!

devonblue, I am guessing you are not a working mother relying on neither childcare or the tube LOL
What's the poijnt with emergency contacts in this case exactly? OP was not only delayed on the tube, she was
STUCK in the tube and could not call anyone before 5:45. It would most likely be quicker for her to pick up child herself by this time, than starting callling her emergency contacts. The ASC would not call anyone before 6 anyway.
I think there is a lot of non-working mums on this thread with their "you have no right"-attitude. If you use chldcare specifically set up for working parents (which I do) then you would assume they have proper policies in place for every eventualities.

fairy - re your question about what would others do. Well, I'd be very apologetic, collect my child, make mental note of giving staff nice end of year/Christmas present and not kick up a stooshie.

If the indoor waiting arrangements concerned me, I would politely speak to the staff and the headteacher again for clarification.

she was supervised, you were late, why does it matter that she's not inside ... and YABU

The emergency contacts are for the child care provider, so they can ring around if the parent picking up doesn't appear. I can see that being stuck on the tube is unpleasant, and if Mammya was really stuck for 45 mins then I do feel sympathetic. BUT instead of feeling grateful that staff waited with her child (not that they had any choice) she wants to kick up a stink about the 5 mins of that time that was outside. Personally I find that somewhat incomprehensible. If my transport was going to be that unreliable then I would use a childminder. Oh yes - I do use a childminder! I hated the days of on the dot nursery pick up, and the children were always miserable if I was even 5mins late (and we were charged for it). Oh, and not that it's really that pertinent, but I have worked full time, with a variety of child care arrangements for the last nine years, and during that time I have used buses, trains, the underground and a bicycle to get to work.

To the OP - just ask to see the policy documnet for late collection - that should hopefully answer your queries about where children should wait . No need for a full on meeting in with the HT playworker and caretaker - besdies which you would have to take time out of work for that ! I dount whether they would hang around for you after 5.30pm !

Fairymum, that is unbelieveably rude.

FWIW, I work, I use an ASC and I am on its Management Committee. I have also seen first hand how some parents abuse the professionalism and goodwill of the ASC staff.

Had it crossed your mind that ASC staff could also be working parents, anxious not to be late to pick up their own kids? I honestly don't think the staff have done ANYYTHING wrong in this scenario - OP had phoned and told them she'd be late (and presumably gave them an ETA), so they decided to pack up and wait outside as it wasn't going to be long. What on earth is the issue? Agree with all those who think OP should be giving them chocolates rather than a hard time.

And also agree 100% with nooka.

This thread is quite entertaining.
Especially like the attempt to make it SAHM vs WOHM. That is a good long scrape of that particular barrell.

The child was being looked after. is it really traumatic to have to wait outside ?

It is not the care workers fault that anyone is late. Of course people will occasionally be held up - can't easily be helped. But that surely is why the ACU have an emergency contact who will be available.
I am emergency contact for my friends DC's and she for mine. If for any reason we are not around we let the other know. We take emergency contact seriously and make sure it is covered for exactly that reason.

My DS2 has SN and one time I didn't hear his bus arrive home. They left this child with profound SN standing on my doorstep a short walk from a busy road. I have never ever been late since.
Perhaps if people stopped assuming that someone else will take responsibility for their child they would arrange proper cover themselves.
Arranging timely collection of your child is your responsibility. I would have been very very grateful that someone waited with my DC and stopped them being anxious.
I am in the apologies and flowers brigade ....

at Fairymum's wild assumption.

It's because I've used the tube to get back for my children that I know I wouldn't rely on it.

If I ever think I might be even be 5 minutes late I'd call and make sure I'd got back up arrangements - that's what I consider my responsibility as a parent.

Oh, and for the slow of thinking, if I'm using the tube and know I won't be able to call, I'd make those back-up arrangements independent of myself for that very reason!

Apologies for my unwarranted rudeness. I just didn't want someone to point out again that you can't phone from the tube

"If I ever think I might be even be 5 minutes late I'd call and make sure I'd got back up arrangements - that's what I consider my responsibility as a parent."

Yes, don't we all? Curious as to what sort of backup arrangements independent of yourself you have? Someone with psychic powers who would "have the power" to "feel" when you are stuck on the tube ?

No. A local parent or childminder who could be contacted and collect as a favour or for payment. Other parents in the past have made private arrangements with the after school workers and paid them if they have to work late and then they know that the worker still has responsibility for them. Just something rather than 'Oh the school will sort it out.'

Aren't the staff at the ASC supposed to contact the back up people?

Still don't understand what is wrong with waiting outside.

Yes, we all have emergency contacts who can be contaced by ASC devinblue. However, its not relevant to OP because she called at 5:45. Noone would have called emergency contacts before close at 6 pm anyway.

If I failed in my duty (to pick up my child on time), I would not ever contemplate complaining about what the other party did, especially when what they did was perfectly reasonable. I would be mortified and keeping them from their personal time, tbh, and profusely apologetic.

Obviously, I would be interested in their procedures, so would then scour their policy documents to see what they do in the event of very late pickups.

If I failed in my duty (to pick up my child on time), I would not ever contemplate complaining about what the other party did, especially when what they did was perfectly reasonable. I would be mortified and keeping them from their personal time, tbh, and profusely apologetic.

Obviously, I would be interested in their procedures, so would then scour their policy documents to see what they do in the event of very late pickups.

I'm not sure I understand what you're saying FM. it's just different approaches I think. If I could have called someone at 5.45 I would have called one of my stand-bys to pick up because I would be late, and I would probably have also called the school to tell them that it would be a different person picking up if it was a young child. Maybe a bit OTT, but I want to keep any goodwill for real emergencies.

Devonblue, fair enough. Personally I don't have emergency contacts on constant stand-by. It would take them around 20 minutes to get out the door and to the ASC from the time of my phonecall. I think many parents are in the same situation. Nursery even longer. We live in Fulham and our childrens nursery is by Hyde Park so not that close. Anyway, I think this is one of those threads where posters think they are disagreeing more than they probably are in reality. Will leave now as late for ASC-pickup

I think your dc was safe and with an adult, no issue really. If I were HT I may call you in to ask how you neglected to arrange a suitable person to pick up your dd in your absence... you should have a person idetified by the school just in case.

You were late. Yes, it was an unavoidable tube delay but you should have given them an emergency contact to call if such a situation were to ever arise.
As it stands the ASC staff looked after your DD themselves and stayed late to wait for you, which you should be thanking them for instead of being cross that they didnt do it in exactly the way you would have preferred.
Instead of now questioning their lateness policies, you need to be looking at yours
Arrange an emergency contact for them to call and ask them to call this person if you havent arrived or called them by 5.45pm (seeing as you usually collect by 5.30pm)

All afternoon has passed and still noone has explained what was so wrong about the child waiting on the pavement under the care of a responsible adult. Come on Mammya- let me out of this suspense!!!

You're right that dd's school is very local, though I still have put a lot of effort into building a strong network of friends with children at the school, at least partly because we all know that we can rely on each other to do am emergency pick-up.

Also if your nursery is private you might feel that you are paying for extras like emergency cover... I hadn't taken that into account.