If your child goes to private school, what job do you do?

[scrambledeggy]

Just curious really- I don't know anyone who has kids at private school, but I always pass a massive one on my way to work and wonder what kind of jobs people do to afford it?

Farming. There’s a joke in farming that all farms work on a 30 year cycle. You have 10 years of paying school fees, 10 years of care home fees and then10 years of investing in the farm. You can tell by the farm drive which decade someone is in.

its not the growing food bit of our business that pays the school fees - we have diversifications that were set up with the intent of providing an income stream purely for school fees.

Also, since the IHT changes in farming lots of grandparents pay out of excess income to reduce IHT. Lots of them still work - I know of many many farmers well into their 70’s and 80’s working 40 hour weeks because they enjoy it. Meaning they still earn well beyond when most people are digging into pensions.

Others at our school range from doctors, property developers, finance in London. There are a lot of more standard jobs, quite a few builders, one lorry driver I know of and lots of teachers. The latter group are often older, one child and live in very standard housing clearly making sacrifices.

I am looking forward to DS1 leaving. He's in Year 11 now. I'm not sure what I'd do with myself with such an uplift in our disposable income!

We downsized to afford it originally. Smaller house as opposed to where we were. It has been worth it for us. Ds1 has a range of SEN and was drowning where he was. Our experience is that the local schools were not officially allowed to say they could not take him due to his needs, but they make it known in off the record (and in one case, openly hostile) ways. We were also told he was never going to be a candidate for GCSEs etc. Written off when he was 9.

He's doing GCSEs this year and is predicted to get 6s and perhaps a 7 or two. I am unspeakably proud of him. He has it tough and he gets through each day. I hope he gets to university (another thing his ed psych told us in Year 7 would be out of the question) but mainly because university can be such fun. We don't really care what he does, as long as he is happy.

DS2 is the polar opposite. Sporty, academic, popular. We are so proud of him too. And bloody grateful he got his scholarship to the same school!!

Your situation is incredibly similar to ours, from DS1 having SEN and being unable to access a state school education; to us downsizing our house to make private school happen; to DS2 having scholarships to help him remain in the private school.

I wish you and your boys all the best 💐

Thank you. ❤

And all the best to you and your boys too.

Dd is an only child. Dh is director level, earning a decent salary, not mega bucks. I don’t work due to ill health. We do have rental income from properties. A lot of that is swallowed in mortgage payments. A lot of the parents are from the farming community. There’s quite a lot of wealth around dd’s school, despite the relatively modest price tag of 20k a year. We aren’t down south.

“Most are average people who make HUGE sacrifices”

Sorry, but this just isn’t true. What your mother did is irrelevant as the economic landscape was completely different 30 years ago or whatever timeframe you’re talking about.

No parent on a minimum wage job could send their child to private school these days. Median U.K. household income is £37k. A rough estimate of median private school fees for secondary is £25k. Median mortgage payment is £12k. So an average family across the UK cannot afford private school, even if they don’t eat at all or turn the heating on.

By definition anyone who can afford private school is very very privileged. To be in a position to be able to make a sacrifice is privileged.

Im in London and day school fees are pushing £40k a year now. For two children that means having gross income of about £120k a year spare. The suggestion that someone who has £120k a year spare (or even £60k if only one child) is “average” is ridiculous.

We didn’t have to downsize as we’d never upsized! We joked we must the only family in the school with only one car and one toilet!
Since DC2 left school we’ve been able to significantly extend the house due to an inheritance. DC2 is still living here (working after uni) and we’re enjoying being able to have DC1/partner stay regularly and hosting friends and family to stay. I say this to give those still in the thick of it some hope for the future!

My three children did….husband runs his own company and I’m cabin crew (pt)

£22,000 a year but ds got a 50% academic scholarship, so I pay half, plus trips, exam fees, school bus & extras. About £15k a year.

Long way out of London, fees £24k, one child, me Director global company DH sole trader IT, huge mix of jobs with other parents, lots of medics, law, teachers (mainly state interestingly), small business owners, farming, local council workers, media, a fair few footballers, nanny, some generational wealth and titled. Just a very broad spectrum, plenty of bursary’s, ethnically very diverse in an area that is not very diverse. Very much a mix of working and middle class with the odd upper thrown in. Definitely not what people think when they assume all private schools are “Eton”.

How old are you lot? I'll be 36 when my eldest goes to secondary school, don't know if that makes me older?

This is what I mean! I earn 45k ish which is really good for someone my age in my local area (not tooting my own horn, just how it is) so I feel like the kind of incomes to afford that on must be living in a totally different world. This thread at least helps flesh it out a bit.

Nope thats not old. I had my youngest at nearly 36. Im eldest started secondary when I was 44.

That's cuz you're in London. Come on, Eton is 40k. The school I teach in is 15k per year.

That’s young!!! I was 35 when I had mine (17 now) and most of the mums I know are between 47 and 57… Also most I know work so we all had careers before children which we’ve kept up which may make it easier with school fees…

You must know that doesn't make you older... To be much younger than you who had your child at 25, you would be looking at teenage pregnancies which aren't common full stop let alone with salaries that can afford private school.

@ihatecoffeeare you Carole Middleton?

We were both teachers. We lived a no frills life to pay ( old car, self catering holiday, modest house)
i know people on higher salaries gossiped about how we afforded it. But they had more flash lifestyles. Only since DD left have we had money for house improvements etc.

Did you miss the part where I quoted the median figures? If your school is cheaper then it means you live in a cheaper area overall where incomes are proportionally lower.

Eton is £64k btw. You’re way off.

I have an average income, DC has a decent scholarship for talent. There are lots of "normal"
people at school, whatever it means.

I was 37 when DS1 was born and 39 when DS2 was born.

Eton fees are £42199 per term, i.e. £126597 per year (inc. VAT, but there will be extras on top).

https://www.etoncollege.com/admissions/fees/

At my dc London school it’s lawyers (me), nhs consultants, accountants and people working “in finance” . No old money - people in our neighbourhood with that kind of cash send their kids to boarding school out of London.

I’m 45 and about average. Kids will hit senior school next year.

I’m 40, my children are 3 (in pre school) and 6 (Y1) so will definitely be an “older” parent when they reach secondary!