UK teachers report rise in problem parents

[Tabitha005]

Rude and disrespectful parents were a big issue when I worked in education ten years ago and, from this article, it seems to be an increasing concern.

Who’d be a teacher, eh? The shit they have to put up with is awful.

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2026/mar/13/teachers-mental-heath-parents-behaviour-education

So you don't even have children at school right now. Do you have children at all?

That’s great for you. Can I ask - did your sons schools call you on the phone, send messages, emails, put invoices for additional “voluntary” fees in their book bags, send additional messages if you hadn’t paid the additional “voluntary” fees etc etc.? Or was it that you were genuinely able to freely and without pressure volunteer?

Because a lot of my friends with children in primary school are feeling enormous levels of pressure trying to keep up with school admin and expectations.

Is that any of your business?

I would agree with a PP that parental
involvement in school is in fact at an all-time low. Until really quite recently it was the norm for multiple parents per class to come in every week to hear readers, practice times tables etc etc throughout primary, as well as pretty much fighting to come on trips. PTAs were often extremely active and ran lots of after school events like discos, treasure hunts, made tea for parents’ evenings etc.

The reason for the decline is of course linked to needing 2 parents to work to keep family finances on an even keel, and that has led to schools having to directly request help from the ‘unwilling many’ rather than the previously ‘willing several’.

Multiple communications re trips, contributions, non-uniform days, help needed etc etc is a complaint as old as time. Some schools are better than others at streamlining communication.

I think it's relevant. If you don't have children in the current school system you cannot truly appreciate the financial pressures schools are under right now just to equip classrooms with the basics like pens. My DP regularly pays out of his own pocket for books and equipment so his class doesn't miss out. That's why parents are asked to volunteer help and resources if they are in a position to do so. Teachers don't deserve to be abused on the basis that parents are being sent a few more emails than they might've a few years ago.

I can certainly imagine that different schools take different approaches. I’m in my thirties and certainly when I was at school there was next to no communication between my schools and my parents. The constant communication seems to have really ramped up in recent years, and is not as cyclical is it once was (e.g. you’d expect comms around Easter and Christmas and end of year assemblies etc.) Now it just seems to be constant updates, which again, just opens the door to higher levels of entitlement, more opinions and more discussions at the school gates.

If your friends do feel that communication is excessive and could be streamlined, then constructive feedback as to how it could be improved (eg a weekly letter covering the vast majority; a single payment for all trips / events upfront rather than separate throughout the year; a single ‘sign up’ sheet for regular or occasional help (we used to do that at the ‘meet the teacher’ evening at the very start of the year and would first contact anyone who had ticked to say ‘yes, happy to help on Tursdays’) etc ) is definitely a reasonable thing to raise politely with the school.

I remember taking a weekly duplicated newsletter home every week from primary school, and I’m a LOT older than you.

I’m in Scotland and both my children went to state schools so I was never asked for money, but I was asked for time. Yes they sometimes phoned me because I was in the PTA but were more likely to catch me in the playground at dropping off or picking up.

Yes there were messages in their bags. It’s the best way to get everyone.

I gave my time freely, but of course the school asked for volunteers.

However, asking isn’t pressure. You are always free to decline.

Your children won’t be treated differently if you decline.

Well seeing as I’ve worked in education for over ten years, have worked directly with schools on numerous programmes, and have spent years speaking to teachers, SLTs, governors and the DfE about numerous initiatives designed to support teaching and learning in primary, secondary and FE institutions across the country I think I can appreciate it.

These knee-jerk reactions and accusations when faced with perfectly legitimate criticisms do not do anybody any favours.

So you work closely with schools and teachers and are still hold the blasé view that teachers can expect abuse because parents get a few more emails than they did a few years ago?

And these are not knee-jerk reactions, trust me. This is anger from watching my DP come home week after week stressed from dealing with parents who treat him like he's their personal paid employee. When I read comments saying it's understandable that parents feel entitled to abuse teachers because of a few extra emails, I'm going to argue back. It's a shameful opinion for anyone to hold.

My son is a teacher. I know exactly what you mean.

I'm sorry your son has to deal with it too.

I don’t know what the issue is but it doesn’t seem to be getting through to you that I have not said that teachers deserve or should expect abuse in any of my posts. You can try to twist my words to make yourself feel better if that helps you to feel like you’ve won something, but I’m going to stop engaging with you now because you seem hell bent on making me responsible for your husband’s stress.

My son loves the pupils.

He’s secondary and runs two after school clubs (debating and chess) and he has a funny story every day about one wean or another who have made him howl with laughter at their questions or made him completely respect them. They make the workload worth it for him. He even likes parents nights. Most parents just want to know how their children are doing and respect the teachers.

But the abusive parents can really demoralise him and make him want to leave.

I hope he doesn’t because he’s great with the pupils and they’re great with him.

If he does it isn’t down to the pupils.

Hellbent? Now who's using hyperbole.

I've not twisted your words at all. You've said what you've said.

Same with my DP. He loves teaching the kids and finds it really rewarding. It's the parents that will drive him out of the profession.

Children aren't taught respect any more by their parents they're taught entitlement. It makes teacher's lives intolerable and makes the children practically unemployable later.

Awful eh? I’m (ironically) in the middle of writing an e mail to one of my other son’s former teachers who supported him when he was really ill as a teenager (he’s Diabetic type 1 and went off the rails a bit in 5th year).

He got off the rails and is now really successful in the subject that teacher taught him. He was the teachers “Pupil
of the year”. My friend works in the school and told me he always asks how my son is doing.

So I am sending him a thank you e mail and letting him know how grateful we are for his belief in my son and thanking him for his part in making him decide to choose that career and for giving him a passion for it and to let him know he’s now earning more than him lol 😂

Teachers can change a pupil’s life.

I think my teacher son can, but don’t know if he will continue because of abusive parents 😢

Haha yes, I can relate! My personal favourite was a mother of a boy in my form who asked me what I was going to do about the fact that he had kissed a girl on school grounds ( outside of hours, year 9). Um, nothing?

I also wonder if gentle type parenting has fed into this. A lot of the parents that I speak to about these complaints have really high expectations for how the teachers or other staff will adapt to the emotional needs and personality of their child and get very upset when the staff don't share their enthusiasm.

It's very commendable that a parent has done this work to help their child regulate and thrive but its not really possible for an adult looking after a group of different kids to replicate it.

I agree. You see plenty of posts on MN expecting special attention for their child's apparent emotional needs and to hell with the other 29 children they are trying to teach.

As far back as the early noughties, my DC had a shouty teacher in Y1, one of the best they had, she and I have coffee a couole of times a year.

Even back then some of the parents said she stressed their children because she was a shouter. However she was a good teacher and fair. My response was always "mine are fine, but they get shouted at at home, so are used to it". We had firm boundaries at home, and love, and the DC were therefore never any trouble at school.

Oh dear. We have established that you don't have children.
You have heard your mates grumbling about school events. That's pretty normal for a working mum. But they usually do it anyway. The busy loving parents do it. The cba parents don't.
You seem to have a very bitter attitude to schools, although you claim to work in one. Cleaner? School receptionist - i doubt the latter because they see the end result.
You have never had the pleasure of sitting up late at night cursing as you create a last minute Easter bonnet. World book day costume: some very thoughtful, a lot of Harry Potters slung in the supermarket trolley. Oh God! a weekend building a castle out of toilet rolls. You have never had to source a cardboard box and cut it up, paint it red to make a roman shield. You have never scampered into work late (oh the stress) because you went to assembly to see your child receive star of the week - for sitting quietly at story time, or tidying up nicely. You have never had the pleasure of listening to your own child, and others struggle and develop with reading. You've never had the hassle of helping out on a muddy school trip, helping the child who can't put his wellies on, or wellies that have come off and got stuck in a muddy puddle, And, oh god, a trip to the pantomine to be paid for on the run up to Christmas, just when you're short of money.
Yes, mums moan. Why do they do it? For the look on their kids' faces. That's why. Kids love it when their mums' come into their school. Most mums like to see what happens in the school day. I can remember mums helping with the Christmas party when I was primary school.
I'd be interested to hear which parents are abusive. Do the helpers or non-helpers complain the most?