DD's first school trip - im nervous

[ThePeachFawn]

Context:

Me and lovely DH married at early by choice 18 after being close childhood friends since primary, we now have DD (4).

It's her first school trip and for the full day next Monday, I'm really nervous bc parents can't go and it's 1h drive away from school. The school didn't really give a choice for child not to go, they said "we are going next Monday for the full day" and just sent letters out with the times, not even asking for permission.

Ik there'll be mixed opinions on allowing kids to go but me and DH personally would've waited until yr 1 or 2, since knowing my kid - she's not calm when travelling for hrs on long journeys and in unfamiliar places without me or DH, but we weren't given a choice.

I'm just nervous for it all knowing it'll be tough for her, she frequently gets picked on by teachers for being slow in speech and needs extra hand with things. Me as a mother have mixed feelings about sending her with them far away for the full day.

Would appreciate any advice...
Thanks..

Nervous about what? What do you think is going to happen?

You're wrong to say you don’t have a choice to send her. For starters, she’s below compulsory school age, so doesn’t even have to go in next week if you don’t want her to go. But what are you specific concerns around the trip? She’ll be with a lot of familiar adults.

What do you mean she gets picked on - I mean, in what way, what do they do? How have you addressed this with the school?

It's natural, OP.

You could ask the school if they need helpers for the day. I did this on a few of my dc's school trips and really enjoyed it.

Is it a trip this year group run every year? In which case, it's very likely that the staff have done this visit before. They will have procedures in place as will the place they are visiting.

It is compulsory for her, she's in reception, the teacher call her "lazy" and say she speaks to slowly (which isn't true - she's OK at home with me and hubby and our extended family) she just needs a little help with things like activities and stuff (which is normal for a small child and is NOT "LAZY" at all!)

Your daughter will be fine, and excited about the trip, as the other children will be.

I wouldn't class an hour as a 'long trip.' What are you nervous about, specifically?

You are doing your child a huge disservice by thinking in this way about something that is a nornal and beneficial part of life, please do not let you child know you are anxious or worried in anyway. They needs to see you being positive and excited about the trip, and in turn they will benefit much more from the experience. While it is normal to be a little apprehensive, its time for you to step up for your DC and support their development.

I’d request for her not to go until she’s in the year above if that’s how you feel. You
know her better than anyone.

please do not convey these nerves to your DD!
i'm also guessing that maybe English isn't your first language? Could that be why she speaks more slowly than other kids at school?

What I meant is they can’t fine you for absences as she’s under 5.

The teacher calls her lazy to her, or to you?

I haven't shown her in any way, me and dh talk about these thing when she is in her room or asleep.

The teacher calls your daughter lazy?!

School ain't allowing that 😔

School trips are normal.

also she frequently gets picked on by teachers for being slow in speech - highly doubtful

Yes, she says she's slower than thr rest of the lot, I responded every kid is different

@ThePeachFawn

You havent articulated what your actual concerns are?

Why are you worried for her to go fir a short school trip?

What do you fear might happen?

I do understand how you feel, I always get nervous when either DS is in a field trip. DS2 went on one last month with preschool which seemed so young for me, to be on a bus and out with a group of children. However he absolutely loved it and I didn’t let any of my concerns put him off. I would smile and let her get on with it.

However if the teacher is calling her lazy and not supporting her with speech then this is what I would focus on taking further.

Speak to the head teacher? Your child's teacher cannot call her lazy that's nuts.

The teachers shouldn't be using words like lazy or slow, that's very unprofessional. They might be concerned about her speech or concerned about how long it takes her to complete tasks - but describing her as lazy or slow is unacceptable. If they are saying things like that then the school trip is the least of your concerns IMO.

Why they concerned about her speech? Has she had a recent hearing test? Are they suggesting speech therapy? What is she struggling with exactly? Have they suggested anything you can do at home to help her? Are they implying that they think she may have SEN? As teachers they will be well aware that every child is different so if they think she may have some issues then I would listen to them and ask what you can do to help and find out exactly what their concerns are and if they suspect SEN.

When you said it was dd's first trip I assumed you meant her first over night trip and was going to say it's understandable to feel a bit nervous. But kids having opportunities to go on day trips from school is really nothing to be nervous about. I think you're being over protective and your dd will hopefully have a great time.

I have a nervous reception age DD with suspected ND and I find doing things in reception really brings her out of her shell. She has a visit to an animal park in the summer, I know if I mention it she will panic about it until the summer so I haven't mentioned it at all. When things are sprung on her in class she usually takes lead from how the other DC react to the situation.

No reason not to let her on the school trip.

My son is in reception and they went on a school trip to a kids’ theatre at Christmas.

I think other parents were nervous so the teachers put on the school app to confirm when they had safely arrived. I personally wouldn’t have needed this reassurance as i believe other professionals are perfectly able to look after my kid.

The teacher calling your child lazy is a different matter and you need to meet with the school about this. Not just to raise how unprofessional that is, but to discuss a plan on how to help her development.

That is not the same as calling your child lazy.

Instead of getting defensive (and of course the teacher knows all kids are different - she literally sees 30 new ones every year!), did you ask the teacher to give some more explanation as to why she thinks your daughter is slower, what is she slower at doing, what is the teacher doing to help your daughter, and what can you do at home to assist the school. This is the kind of proactive parenting the school will rightly be expecting.

She'll be fine, the bus journey with all her friends together will be best part of the trip probably.

Is she excited to go on the trip?

What do you mean by not calm when travelling? How does she show this? She’ll almost certainly be fine if she’s on a coach, excited with her friends.

did she actually say she was lazy ? or did she say she was slower, because they are 2 different things.

She didn’t call her lazy. Just slower. They are different. As said before find out how you and the teachers can help her. They won’t leave her behind because she’s slow!