Should I tell school of my concerns?

[MarmadukeScarlet]

Not strickly speaking Ed, but...

My DD (yr 3) dislikes the school lunches - they are pretty horrific, no choices etc.

This term they have started a salad bar, so DD has this every day. She usually has cheese, lettuce and cue, sometimes there are peppers yesterday there was rice salad. No 1/2 jackets ever and she doesn't like the pasta in sauce salad.

Some afternoons she has PE/Games/swimming or combination for 2.5 hours and has PE 4 days per week (yes, fee paying school).

I have tried to explain to her that she needs to give herself enough fuel to get through her long day, especially if she has a match after school which normally ends at 5.15pm. Lunch is at 12.20pm. She sometimes has been quite floppy and pale (and grumpy) when I've picked her up.

Yesterday I learnt that the school have changed the cheese (now red leic/dbl glous) they have and she doesn't like it, so since it was changed (half term) she has only had lettuce, cue and peppers (when they have peppers) every day for lunch. She doesn't always eat pudding as mainy pie/crumble etc, although they get a few slices of apple normally. Sometimes she gets a slice of bread.

Should I call the school and bring this to their attention or should I not interfere?

tell the school. i'm sure they would welcome suggestions.what harm can it do? I hope she has a big breakfast

ScienceTeacher - which part of 'she has a sensory integration disorder' did you not understand?

My nephew had real problems with the look/texture of food which was a symptom of his dyspraxia, although looked like a fussy child.

Another thought is do you think she is using this as an excuse to slim down? You said she is well covered and it seems to me that in year 3 the girls that are not stick thin can start being teased. Most of them look normal healthy girls, just with a bigger frame, but I know some of the others are very cruel. I have skinny boys so don't know if the girls talk about dieting but it just an idea.

What I did when I discovered that DS was not having his lunch (he wanted more break time and didn't want to queue) was send an email to his form tutor asking her to apply whatever pressure necessary to get him to eat.

At my school, if a child has a medical reason to require a different meal or to allow them to bring in packed lunches, we need a note from their GP or specialist. Our caterers are happy to oblige.

We monitor what children eat (we take a register in the dining room and any absentees are tracked down), and if any throw away most of their food, or just select one lettuce leaf, we have a chat and inform the parents. The parents are usually extremely supportive.

Children at our school would (if they could) avoid lunch because they want more social time (as if lunch isn't social). The main thing we are trying to avoid is body issues and get very concerned when girls appear to be dieting. That's why we are on top of picky eaters and involve their parents at a fairly early stage.

At DD's school they get a set time for lunch, then they go to read for 35 mins and then they go to play - so no rushing/not eating to get outside.

jicky this is partly what worries me, she is much taller and generally larger than the girls in her class (1m 38cms, size 2 feet) and in proportion (see pic on profile of my adorable DC ) but has several times said that she hates being taller, bigger and having bigger feet that the others. Dyspraxia doesn't help as she is quite clumsy. I point out that she is very clever, twice as beautiful and kind as everyone else, but when you want to fit in with the skinny girls I don't suppose that is much comfort.

The teachers and children do not have set tables, so it is difficult to notice what a child is eating daily when they may only sit with them once a fortnight.

You're right - your dd is gorgeous.

Hope you find a way to sort out the lunch problems, but at least it will be summer holidays soon, when she can eat good food at home.

Head of Pastoral care (deputy head) who is V V scary and has zero empathy called me back today.

She says it is not possible that Dd only ate lettuce, cue and peppers and basically called her a liar.

Well out of the two of them I know who I believe. DD knew I would not be impressed with her for not eating the cheese, so she wouldn't have made it up.

so when will the written complaint be going in and when will you be moving her? I am disgusted on your behalf at the behaviour of the deputy head. Your poor daughter. [shaking head in despair]

TBH the selection sounds ok. Especially if the head is right and each day there may be ham or tuna or prawns etc. What about tomatoes and other salady bits? Are you saying that EVERY day your dd doesn't like the hot option. Aside from offering the potato maybe I'm not sure what else they can do. Most kids if they like cheese they like cheese IYSWIM

The school sounds like a nightmare tbh. It sounds like you have a lot going on and this really is a hassle you could do without. I would talk to the school in a very clear "this is what would work for us, is it possible" sort of way, but if they persist in the "lots of children on the waiting list" crap vote with your feet. Moving kids can be unsettling, but it's worth it when you get it right (I've been there).

Blimey, Marmaduke - I think I'd be looking for other schools, tbh.

I can't believe you are paying fees to this place, and they are letting your DD down so badly.

Horrible food, bullying, odd teachers.

Your DD sounds lovely, btw.