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Original poster

Should I tell school of my concerns?

62 replies

MarmadukeScarlet · 17/06/2008 11:38

Not strickly speaking Ed, but...

My DD (yr 3) dislikes the school lunches - they are pretty horrific, no choices etc.

This term they have started a salad bar, so DD has this every day. She usually has cheese, lettuce and cue, sometimes there are peppers yesterday there was rice salad. No 1/2 jackets ever and she doesn't like the pasta in sauce salad.

Some afternoons she has PE/Games/swimming or combination for 2.5 hours and has PE 4 days per week (yes, fee paying school).

I have tried to explain to her that she needs to give herself enough fuel to get through her long day, especially if she has a match after school which normally ends at 5.15pm. Lunch is at 12.20pm. She sometimes has been quite floppy and pale (and grumpy) when I've picked her up.

Yesterday I learnt that the school have changed the cheese (now red leic/dbl glous) they have and she doesn't like it, so since it was changed (half term) she has only had lettuce, cue and peppers (when they have peppers) every day for lunch. She doesn't always eat pudding as mainy pie/crumble etc, although they get a few slices of apple normally. Sometimes she gets a slice of bread.

Should I call the school and bring this to their attention or should I not interfere?

OP posts:
Original poster
MarmadukeScarlet · 17/06/2008 13:55

nappyelite What TV prog do you mean, out of general nosyness?

OP posts:
nappyelite · 17/06/2008 14:00

I meant the summerhill series they showed. It really opened my eyes to see that school isnt just about who gets what gcse's or a-levels. I was subscribing to wanting to be one of the parents who has the children who are top at uni, college, best a-levels and all that, but now I'm not. I want them to be happy and to enjoy being children, but also to grow into balanced adults.
I'm sorry to hear everything is so tough right now. it can;t be easy with this on top of everything else.
I hope I'm not talking out of turn, but if your daughter is switched on enough to know what is best for her to eat then do you think it would be worth discussing the option of moving schools with her?

hanaflower · 17/06/2008 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MarmadukeScarlet · 17/06/2008 14:45

No not talkign out of turn, DD is very bright (verbal IQ of 141+ despite the lack of streetwise and dyspraxia) and understands what should be on a plate to make a balanced meal.

We eat very odd meals due to fussinees and all meals are made up of protein, carbs and veg in about 25/25/50% on an ideal day but maybe 33.3% for each in reality.

We have a 5 a day /colours of veg sticker board and one giving all the food groups/vitamins and what each one does.

She is very daydreamy and may not be putting all that knowledge into choosing her lunch!

I just don't know how to influence her to be sensible without being authoritarian about it (You will eat the revolting lunch) and giving the poor girl an eating disorder!

Looks like it is raisins boxes in the blazer pocket!

Thanks to all for the advice.

OP posts:
nappyelite · 17/06/2008 14:48

mum used to put mini popcorn packets in my pocket not very healthy but certainly tasty. Hope everything settles down soon for you and good luck.

Original poster
MarmadukeScarlet · 17/06/2008 14:49

Hana I don't think qualifications are the be all and end all, I also do not think the alternative school has lower eductaional standards any more (historically it turned out Very Naice Young Gels who were good at flower arranging).

It is more her perception that she is not good enough to attend current school, untill I can make her believe this is not true she will feel as if she has failed.

NE I didn't see that series and was surprised as that is similar to the name of a school some friends DC attend and thought it had been on the TV!

OP posts:
newgirl · 17/06/2008 17:30

i dont see why your dd should be worried about you talking to her teacher - this is an important issue and it may well affect her academic work. It may be a good school in other ways but if she is too hungry to concentrate what is the point?

nappyelite · 17/06/2008 19:16

I saw the first 2 episodes but missed the end where they showed the court battle and its outcome. I did manage to see the part where they sailed the boat though. I'd love for my children to go there, or somewhere similar, if finances allowed

maybe if you big up the other school as a better place than where she is and explain that she would have a nicer time there would that help? poor little soul, I really do feel for her.

SmugColditz · 17/06/2008 19:23

I would tell her that the school is not good enough for her.

I wouldn't put up with this treatment from a state school - why are you paying for it?

AbbeyA · 17/06/2008 20:19

I would ask the same question SmugColditz.

ScienceTeacher · 17/06/2008 20:22

Why do you put up with such a picky eater? I have no time for that at all. You have to nip it in the bud.

ScienceTeacher · 17/06/2008 20:22

Why do you put up with such a picky eater? I have no time for that at all. You have to nip it in the bud.

3littlefrogs · 17/06/2008 20:27

Well - just to poke my nose in again - IME (though limited I admit) the picky eating thing seems to go along with the dyspraxia, which in turn goes along with the high IQ...and I do feel that some children have to cope with a lot and you have to pick your battles.

Maybe a gentler, more nurturing school, with nicer food and a flexible attitude would solve a lot.

And i agree with whoever said that maybe the school isn't good enough for her - not the other way round.

3littlefrogs · 17/06/2008 20:29

And, FWIW, I am a very tough mother who would not tolerate picky eating in my own children.

Anna8888 · 17/06/2008 20:32

Yes, you should tell the school.

Why aren't they serving lean protein (eg grilled chicken)?

AbbeyA · 17/06/2008 20:34

I should have thought someone would have taken an interest in what they were eating, an adult on a table would be a good idea.

Raggydoll · 17/06/2008 20:41

I agree 3 frogs. She seems a senstive little girl and I only think 'making' her eat will make her more anxious.

Original poster
MarmadukeScarlet · 17/06/2008 22:37

ST I would not wish to be told exactly what I was allowed to eat everyday especially as it is such tasteless and cheap mush.

I have no wish to give her more food issues by forcing her and I think that would be a destructive approach, only serving to further damage her self esteem. Having a sensory integration disorder is no fun and I think my lucky stars you are not a science teacher at my dds school seeing as you seem totally without empathy.

At home she eats a varied diet of healthy freshly cooked food, eg salmon or lean organic locally produced chicken not unidentifiable brown meat swimming in brightly coloured sauce or gravy. She eats goats cheese, brie and decent cheddar (from local farm shop) she just happens to dislike the bright orange rubbery stuff they serve at her school.

Thank you frogs and raggydoll

OP posts:
avenanap · 17/06/2008 22:42

I told mine that my ds behaved like a little sh*t if he had not eaten lunch. We negotiated that I would take something in for him on the ocasions where they served something he did not like. That solved the problem. It does also cause problems though, I believe they should eat what they are given but knowing my ds, a spoon of rice isn't enough to keep his concentration.

SNoraWotzThat · 17/06/2008 22:54

Could you give her a bigger breakfast? As they say "Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper"..IYKWIM.

My dd1 has started to have smoothies in the morning with a mix of bananas, honey, milk etc and it fills her up and keeps her going.

Mine also have a snack when they get in and if your dd is still doing activities after normal school hours, you should be able to provide healthy snacks for her to eat.

ScienceTeacher · 18/06/2008 05:13

If her problem is turning her nose up and regional British cheeses, that is picky in my book. Is she an only child?

SNoraWotzThat · 18/06/2008 08:27

ST @ only child = fussy eater ! Maybe you should start a thread on this and see how it pans out.

I see you have 5 children, I have 2. Mine like different things. They have tried all the same things, but have preferences the same way as adults.

Anna8888 · 18/06/2008 08:58

Agree entirely that children are allowed food preferences.

I hate cheese, always have done - I grew up in a family of cheese eaters, in a cheese eating country - all to no avail. It makes me feel horrible, I cannot digest it easily at all. Lots of children find certain foods hard to get down - that should be respected.

Original poster
MarmadukeScarlet · 18/06/2008 10:45

No she is not an only child.

She eats many varieties of cheese at home, including Wensleydale, Red leicester, Double Glous and Stilton although her favourite is Gorgeous Goat which is produced locally, I'm not sure that most 8 yr olds would choose goat cheese as their favourite.

The quality and flavour of the school cheese is not to her taste probably because it is cheap rubbery crap, she says it is very salty.

Perhaps if I'd fed her on cheap processed crap all her life she would have developed a taste for it.

Yesterday there were boiled eggs so she had a half (all they are allowed) and some of the cheese, she just ate the cheese first so she then ehjoyed the rest of her meal.

I don't think she is being that picky tbh. As a family we try to eat food that is fresh, seasonal and closest to it's natural state as poss, without sounding too wnaky.

We also make most of our food from scratch, although I've stopped making bread as we all ate too much!

So she is used to GODD food and not rubbish, which I think is the problem.

OP posts:
newgirl · 18/06/2008 16:16

i dont think the problem is the child - sounds like she has great taste and doesn't want to eat rubbish

the problem is the bone idle school who perhaps should take pride in what they serve. Do the teachers eat it? if not, why not? they do at our school.