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Original poster

Should I tell school of my concerns?

62 replies

MarmadukeScarlet · 17/06/2008 11:38

Not strickly speaking Ed, but...

My DD (yr 3) dislikes the school lunches - they are pretty horrific, no choices etc.

This term they have started a salad bar, so DD has this every day. She usually has cheese, lettuce and cue, sometimes there are peppers yesterday there was rice salad. No 1/2 jackets ever and she doesn't like the pasta in sauce salad.

Some afternoons she has PE/Games/swimming or combination for 2.5 hours and has PE 4 days per week (yes, fee paying school).

I have tried to explain to her that she needs to give herself enough fuel to get through her long day, especially if she has a match after school which normally ends at 5.15pm. Lunch is at 12.20pm. She sometimes has been quite floppy and pale (and grumpy) when I've picked her up.

Yesterday I learnt that the school have changed the cheese (now red leic/dbl glous) they have and she doesn't like it, so since it was changed (half term) she has only had lettuce, cue and peppers (when they have peppers) every day for lunch. She doesn't always eat pudding as mainy pie/crumble etc, although they get a few slices of apple normally. Sometimes she gets a slice of bread.

Should I call the school and bring this to their attention or should I not interfere?

OP posts:

HuwEdwards · 17/06/2008 11:40

Can't you giver her packed lunches? I'm not sure you'll have a leg to stand on if they are providing filling alternatives.

Doodle2U · 17/06/2008 11:41

Stick a snack in her book bag?

3littlefrogs · 17/06/2008 11:44

Packed lunches. I have a friend who does this, even though it is not school policy. Her child was fading away, so she just wrote a letter and had a chat with the head and insisted, on health grounds. It was fine.

Original poster

MarmadukeScarlet · 17/06/2008 11:46

We aren't allowed packed lunches or to provide snacks.

Yes I would rather she ate the cheese or the hot meal, but it is grim stuff - grey fishfingers with strings etc.

But DD aside, I do also think they should be offering a 1/2 jacket with the salad, as they don't always have a carb element.

OP posts:

Original poster

MarmadukeScarlet · 17/06/2008 11:48

3littlefrogs, she isn't exactly fading away as she was pretty well covered before.

She was weighed at hosp recently (kidney problems) and has lost 6lbs since last sept when she was weighed there previously.

OP posts:

VaginaShmergina · 17/06/2008 11:55

Lost 6lbs but also aged 9 months !! . Not satisfactory to expect a child to survive on so little, and do so much physically too. She does seem to be particular about what she eats so in everybodys interest a packed lunch sounds the right choice.

I know its all additional cost to you but if she is happy then you will be too.

A fee paying nursery and the food options are quite limited. What have Ofsted said previously ?

Original poster

MarmadukeScarlet · 17/06/2008 12:13

Erm, she is 8.5 yrs old in Yr 3.

It is not a nursery it is a prep school.

Sorry if I didn't make myself clear.

OP posts:

hanaflower · 17/06/2008 12:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

handbagqueen · 17/06/2008 12:20

A friend of mine has a son at at a fee paying school. The school spoke to the mother about her son not eating at lunchtime. They asked her what meals he liked to eat and offered to cook him something he would eat. You should approach the school as not having sufficient food will affect her studies as well as her sports. If they don't let you send in a packed lunch then they should provide food your child will eat.

3littlefrogs · 17/06/2008 12:21

It is really important that she eats.

Dd is 10 and is fortunate that 90% of the time she gets lovely school lunches. Occasionally though, there isn't enough to go round, or the choice is something like curry, that she really doesn't like, and on those evenings she is really pale, tired and miserable. She has NO adipose reserves whatsoever, so needs all the calories she can get.

They are only allowed "healthy" snacks at break time, so she is usually starving by lunchtime. (She could happily eat a sandwich at break time, but not allowed. I have to feed her up outside of school)!

Yabbadabbadooo · 17/06/2008 12:24

A fee paying school should not be serving food that she finds so inedible. Have you tried the food yourself? Is it really so bad? Does she eat well at home?

You MUST talk to the school about it, not only to get them to re-instate the cheese but also to question the whole quality of the food there and ask to try it yourself if you have not had the opportunity to already.

newgirl · 17/06/2008 12:25

can you talk to her teacher or head about it? The food sounds pretty grim and they sound inflexible. If they want to be cheap about the quality of food they provide then they should allow packed lunches.

Original poster

MarmadukeScarlet · 17/06/2008 12:28

They will not accept that their food is grim. I have tried, I have even been in for lunch! I was assured it was all freshly prepared, freshly prepared my backside! Diced swede on the day I went, yes like that wasn't frozen!

There is a vegi choice or a meat choice, BUT you have to be registered for the vegi choice or Meat/fish option and are not allowed to swap if you don't fancy your option.

I agree with your statement re private schools, my DS attends a different one and the food is delish AND has to be sourced with X miles of the school so the majority is seasonal and fresh.

I did call them and got Head's sec, who assured my there were plenty of options on the salad bar inc prawns, tuna, ham and cheese.

She said she hadn't noticed a change in the cheese, but admitted she doesn't have it anyway.

I also asked about DDs understanding that they were limited to X items from one (protein) section and X items from salad section - she ummed and ahhed about this.

DD assure me they were told there would be no more boiled eggs (one half per person) as people were taking too much and being greedy. Because she is an anxious eager to please child she has started taking less in case they meant her .

I do not wish her to have packed lunch as she would be the only child in whole school, she has some social skills issues (has dyspraxia and is very 'young' for her age and has been badly bullied) and I don't want to make things harder for her.

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3littlefrogs · 17/06/2008 12:31

Are you happy with the school in all other respects? TBH it sounds not very "user friendly" IYSWIM.

tortoiseSHELL · 17/06/2008 12:31

Is she at a state school? If so, you are allowed to go in and have lunch with her (obviously you need to buy a lunch). Maybe you could do that once or twice, and then you could see exactly what there is, and also help your dd to choose something more filling and nutritious.

tortoiseSHELL · 17/06/2008 12:32

Just seen you said further up it was a prep school. Could you ask anyway?

Amapoleon · 17/06/2008 12:36

We are in the same boat. The school won't allow us to take packed lunches and refuse to do anything about their lunches. However they are allowed to take a snack so I send dd in with a sandwich .

newgirl · 17/06/2008 12:41

ok the head's sec was not helpful i think you need to escalate this - have you talked to her teacher so she can keep an eye on what she has? or write to the head? or to a governer? it sounds really poor and it will affect her performance.

Quattrocento · 17/06/2008 12:48

Oh I went all Jamie over our school lunches, which are as MS says, compulsory and not especially nutritious. Hot dog and chips (if you please) followed by apple crumble and runny custard.

We're now allowed to take in more nutritious snacks but the ongoing war to improve the quality of the lunches is pretty well lost. Without a single battle being won ...

Original poster

MarmadukeScarlet · 17/06/2008 12:56

Her teacher is barking a little eccentric. But I didn't want to go in or write a note to her as a) then DD would know I'd done so and b) I don't feel she would be able to not tell DD if I discussed it with her.

They do not sit on the same table everyday and do not always have a teacher on their table. So pretty difficult for a casual observer to notice.

The school is not 'user friendly' they are, someway, up their own backsides. 'We have many children on the waiting list, MrsScarlet' nonsense.

I have looked at sending dd to a more nurturing school (where my DS goes), DH not keen and DD has now picked up on that/his opinion that alternative is less academic. She actually said, "If I'm not good enough (meaning clever & sporty rahter than well behaved) to stay at 'current school' I don't mind going to DS' school."

Because of this I decided to try and keep her there as I do not want her to feel like she hasn't made the grade. iyswim.

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mistlethrush · 17/06/2008 13:16

I used to take in snacks that the teachers didn't know about when I was meant to be having school lunches in my 1st year at senior school - used to skip lunch because I wanted to go to the various clubs. When my mother found out she just ensured that I had something that would last me through- in my case it was a handfull of rasins and peanuts - but, having just been to ds's soon to be new school and found that they are anti-nut due to some children's allergies, would have to find an alternative solution now!

Ds's food options sound wonderful - 4 choices every day and no need to specify one or the other - meat main dish, vege main dish, pasta and sauce, potato and there is also salad on offer. It also sounds as though quite a good check will be kept to ensure that each child is at least presented with a proper lunch that they would be prepared to eat.

If you're paying for it, you need to ensure that you're getting what you paid for and it doesn't sound as though you are.

3littlefrogs · 17/06/2008 13:20

She sounds like a lovely little girl. Do you not think she would be happier at a more nurturing school? Academic prowess isn't everything - much more important to feel happy and secure, and IMO not having to be anxious about food is a big part of that.

AbbeyA · 17/06/2008 13:25

What do the other parents think of the food? If you have more people who are unhappy with the food I would have thought that you could have banded together to get a change, especially as you are the paying customer. A salad bar should have variety!

nappyelite · 17/06/2008 13:41

If you're paying your DD should be having decent food. Well, even if you're not paying they should at least be edible, otherwise the school is failing in its pastoral care duties.
In my gut I'd say move her, but them if she is clever would the new school be understimulating?
I always thought there were 2 types of school- paid and unpaid, but since having seen programmes on tv (summerhill ) and having read through a lot of posts on here, my eyes have been opened. I was so blinkered when looking for places for my lot My girls are bright but I'd rather they were happy than pushed through hoops of learning so we too are looking a little more openly at options.
Good luck with whichever way you choose to go.

Original poster

MarmadukeScarlet · 17/06/2008 13:51

Yes, I do think she would eventually be happier at alternative, BUT she has good friends at this school (now) and I don't want her to feel that she hasn't lived up to some perceived level and isn't worthy to be an'current school' girl.

I don't have enough space in my brain to think straight just now, hence the wimpy asking everyones opinion on this. In middle of appealing my DS' statement, DS currently has both legs in plaster, insurance claim for burst soil pipe/flooded house/fallen ceiling, DLA review and DH works in USA.

I think I should move her, then I worry that she will not be happy and better ht devil you know...AAHHHH!

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