6ft tall 12 year old DD getting skirt length violations

[TooTallDD]

I’m really annoyed about this and I am one who is normally in favour of strict uniform rules.

DD is 12 and at a Catholic school in Australia that supplies uniforms from its own school shop. DD is a 6 ft tall beanpole and wears her correct size which is the second smallest size available. The skirt is pleated and tartan with only a couple of millimetres in hemline. She has just received her second uniform violation as her skirt sits just above the knee when it is meant to be knee length. DD is always in the full correct uniform and never gets into any trouble.

I am thinking of emailing the school and putting it back on them- DD is wearing the correct uniform skirt from the school’s uniform shop, she does not shorten it in any way and if the school has an issue, the school needs to take it up with their uniform supplier and ask them to supply skirts for tall girls or at least add some hemline material that can be let down. (Although the pleats would make this challenging)

Is this a good approach? I’m ropable because in 1992 shy, quiet 6 ft tall me was hauled in front of a school assembly for a skirt length dressing down when I was also wearing the school skirt that had been fully let down. My mum sorted that with a phone call and I want to sort this for DD.

Complain to the school as this is ridiculous but you can lower the skirt by adding material at the top, unless shirt has to be tucked in.

The skirt has a zipper at the back so this might be a bit tricky but I suppose a competent seamstress might be able to do this.

Im feeling bolshy about this now though and if the school suggests this, I will suggest they pay for it! I’ve done the correct thing and bought the correct uniform from the correct shop. They can go to the trouble and expense of fixing it. Which I suspect they won’t.

I would. (13 years Australian Catholic school parent). I would make an appointment with the uniform shop manager in the first instance.

With the manager, try on everything. Find one that’s long enough and push for the dressmaker they have on tap (and they should have one for blazer pocket changes etc) to alter it. Ask what they do for other kids who don’t fit the cut.

After the uniform shop manager appointment, go through your list of Assistant Principals and choose the one that most fits. (Not Academic or PD). Not Head of Year. Someone over him/her. Perhaps AP of Pastoral.

If no joy, then start going to the P&F meetings and bring it up there. Principal and an AP should be there so you can talk to them face to face and get it minuted that you are having problems with the uniform policy. Their comments will also be minuted. We had a change of uniform that took place over three years and I got the principal to say “oh such and such will be fine”. A teacher pulled me up on it at a meeting once and I just said “your boss told the P&F meeting …”

I have taken up and let down the hems before. It just needs a good steam iron after to reset the pleats.

If there isn’t any hem to let down, I would certainly be approaching the P&F to change the specs given to the supplier or change supplier. I would make a point of saying that lots of families sacrifice a lot to send their children to Catholic schools and they should not be expected to afford a new skirt when a child is growing. A hem on a new skirt should be decent enough that it can be let down.

Thanks for this advice. I might start at the uniform shop and play dumb. Say that DD is getting skirt length violations and ask for skirts in her size but in the longer length. Which of course don’t exist. My hard line is that I am not going to pay for any tailoring, especially as DD will develop in the next year or so and will go up to larger skirt sizes which should be a bit longer.

Are there boys?

If you wanted to be really bolshy, once you have this dealt with, you could go through the uniform policy and see what it says about trouser length and ankles vs skirt length and knees. And also look at the trousers and see what the hem is like on the new ones compared to the new skirts.

I was told “we need parents like you to tell us what we’re not seeing”.

Note to the Poms when they wake up: ropable means livid.;)

Yep, this isn’t her fault. She’s not taking it up. Go in person and speak to the head and let them know that your dd will not be accepting any more violations until they can provide an alternative, suitable uniform. I would stress that at her age, her height could already isolate her, and punishing her for it might cause significant damage to her mental and emotional health.

Yes - given the skirt is still perfectly conservative on her as a length if it is just about knee length absolutely fight to have the school take back the “punishment?”. I’m usually not in favour of fighting school punishments - but this is a clearly unfair punishment and so you want her to realise she doesn’t always have to just take it when she is treated poorly.

All girls school.

I can’t believe the school staff didn’t stop and think before contacting you. How dare they make a child of that age feel self conscious about her growing body. They need to check there are options for complying before forcing compliance.

*waves from a very very wet area of southern England

Thanks, I just assumed it was a typo, I have never read that word before. It is good to learn something new this early in the morning.

Are the staff really that stupid that they can’t work out a school skirt may look differently on a child who is 6ft?!

You have to wonder. I have visions of them telling off poor DD while she towers over them. I think they just spot a bare knee and freak. I am somewhat sympathetic to staff managing uniform rules as every man and his dog will have a special, unique reason why a rule shouldn’t apply to them. But in DD’s case, it’s real and genuine.

Ha I thought ropeable was a weird autocorrect from a real word or something!

totally agree with you put the onus back on school. I’d be furious too.

Yes it is upsetting. One of the reasons I sent her to an all girls school is that I know from personal experience how miserable and awkward it is to be head and shoulders above all the boys for years. I was the tallest person in my grade till about year 10 when some of the boys shot past me.

I don’t want her to be shamed for being tall.

Not Poms, British people.

For some reason this trope is still considered acceptable to use.... 🙄

The “pomsinoz” site is still going strong and most of my British friends call themselves Poms . DS1 had it on his Y12 leavers shirt as his nickname - his own choice - I really wouldn’t get too worked up about it.

Shocking to punish her for her height. She’s an unusual height but it really isn’t that unheard of for a 6ft female to exist. They should have considered this!

Back in the Stone Age I struggled at school and I’m only 5ft8 but 34 inch inside leg. I needed a size 6 uniform. It was far too short so I had to wear a 12 to get extra length. It looked a right mess. So solidarity to your daughter here.

Team tell the principal, in writing, what you think. My kids are at Catholic schools in Australia.

dear principal, my daughter Sarah has been told off for her uniform being too short. She is wearing the official school uniform in her correct size; if the purchased uniform in the correct size is a uniform policy violation, this sounds like an issue they need to take up with the supplier. My daughter is 6 feet tall, which can generate comments from other children. As a school principal I’m sure you’re aware of the challenges of body image issues today and the psychological harm it causes for many children. We work hard to present a positive body image approach at home and am shocked that not just students but teachers are calling out and criticising my daughter for things directly caused by her height. Could you please address this concerning behaviour from your staff as a priority.

I trust this is the last I hear of my daughter being told off for her skirt length. Please let us know if you make any progress with the uniform supplier.

yours.

Oh thanks. Like ‘fit to be tied’?

This is completely outrageous!

I'd absolutely go and discuss it with the school. They set the rules, all of which yoir dd is following and because of a factor out of her control she's being punished? I would not accept that at all.

Do they not understand that she cannot comply with rules? Its literally impossible? Id be making that point!

I was also 6ft tall for most of my secondary school years. My issue was finding compliant shoes. Size 9/10 (43/44) shoes weren't easy to come by 30 years ago! And actually it's not loads better nowadays!

We had the same. Dd always in half mast trousers, always being told off.
Could have been worse, there was a larger girl whose trousers were skin tight who was regularly sent home for inappropriate uniform. Other kids regularly defended her and received detentions for their troubles.
Also school issue pe shorts that were hotpants and she hated wearing.
Our issues were shoes. Yes of course I can just nip to tesco for a pair of size 9 black lace ups. They stock loads.

She's 18 now and an apprentice mechanic. Mens trousers dont fit her curves. Absolute struggle to buy kit that fits.

Take your lessons from your Mum.
She sorted it with a phone call for you. You do exactly the same thing for DD. Pick up the phone and explain, DD hasn't altered the skirt she is just tall, long legs, and already self conscious about her height.
Or ask for a meeting take one of her skirts with you.

@Rowgtfc72 if you don’t mind buying from Australia, have a look at https://www.kinggee.com/au/workwear-women/. So many women work on mine sites now that they have a range.