What things do you remember from your schooldays that would have the MN police screeching for Ofsted/Social Services/the Police?

[frogs]

Prompted by a discussion with a group of old schoolmates which confirmed a memory so bizarre that I always thought I must have hallucinated it. But no, it turns out that in the early 80s, in a bog-standard Catholic comprehensive in provincial England we did in fact spend our history lessons learning to sing overtly pro-IRA rebel songs, such as The men behind the wire and Tiocfaidh ár lá. Bearing in mind that this was during the hunger strikes in the early Thatcher years, when Sinn Fein was considered so dangerous that Gerry Adams' voice was dubbed on the news (remember that?) it's only just dawned on me how seditious the whole thing was. Unbe-bloody-lievable. Can you imagine the hoo-hah if that happened today?

And on a very different note, another friend confirmed that when we went to boarding school aged 15, we were allowed one clean shirt per week which was worn from Monday to Saturday inclusive (we had a different one for Sundays). In a school full of teenage girls. And hair washing was by rota only, limited to once a week. Rank.

So what badness, madness or just plain weirdness did you take in your stride at school which would be unthinkable today?

Our convent had loads of specimens of fetuses in the science lab.

There was also a womb, fallopian tubes and foetus inside in a tank. The baby looked deformed as it's head looked like a bird. One of my classmates fainted when the science teacher talked to us about it. We were 11.

The teacher was nice but the specimens was really weird. I've been haunted with this ever since. Always wondering the story behind it.

Urgh

I can't believe what they used to serve in the canteen - A speciality at our secondary school was battered jam or cheese sandwiches!! I think every day for 5 years I had chips and gravy, a kitkat and coke

Also, my good friend on her first ever day at school, fell off a climbing frame and broke her arm. But of course everyone just told her to stop making a fuss so she had to wait all day for her Mum to pick her up and take her to the doctors!

A very creepy junior shcool teacher (male) who thought it was ok to tie children (only the pretty blond girls) to a chair placed on top of a desk and then tickle them!!!!!!!

lol at this thread

As soon as I saw it I thought 'ooh I hope Martian Bishop posts about the topless harp player'

I had a teacher who was crazy about tennis. For the Wimbledon fortnight we did no work in her lessons. We watched telly instead.

A teacher I use to work with (when I was much younger once sellotaped a child to his chair as he wouldn't stay in it!

We also had this really pervy science teacher who used to leer over your shoulder down the front of your blouse. He was so close you could feel his breath on your ear. He also swiped a very strong magnet along a line of girls backs and managed to unhook some of their bras! Seem to remember he was only there for about half a term...

I had a voilin teacher in infant school who would say "You're stupid, what are you?" And the child would have to repeat "I'm stupid2. I hated him, but my elder siblings had all had him and though his teaching style quite acceptable. Needless to say I gave up the violin.

Very funny thread

We went on a 6th form school art trip (all girls school) to Amsterdam and were given a guided tour of the red light area and drug cafes by our rakishly gorgeous art teacher.

Also had Biology teacher who would throw chalk dusters at us and shout "You're all Peasants" when we giggled at him saying "peeeenis" in sex-ed lessons.

Maths teacher who let us play ball games and read Jackie magazine in class - I was in the stoopid set. And, as I obviously never learnt anything I stayed in the stoopid set.

Had a piano teacher who used to rest her ENORMOUS breasts on the piano keys and as I practiced my scales I couldn't help but (eurg) touch them. shudder.

I could go on . . . .

We went on a trip to belgium at 14/15 and all got hammered while the 6th formers joined us and tried not to crack onto the pretty girls, went to prague at 17 where there were 2 other schools, we all (teacher included) got wrecked every night and snogged all the boys from other schools while a pissed teacher would sit outside our bedrooms checking we didnt sleep anywhere else! we also had to inflate/deflate pigs lungs with a straw in primary school! i set fire to the bins in our science lab in sec school (was an accident!) and our art teacher (papa smurf) used to mark our periods in his register and we couldnt go to the toilet in lessons unless it was our marked time! We used to lock him in the dark room in the class when he got to much. and then when we left 2 students embarked on r/ships with teachers which creeps me out, when exactly did the teachers start fancying them you know? i had a right row with my form tutor and then he died over the w/end and i always felt bad that that was the last time i saw him despite his being a bit of a toad. and we would always refuse to do detention alone with a male teacher just so we could have a mate in with us which they werent allowed to object to..the list is endless..and fun!

Message withdrawn

Pruners - good tactic! One I kept in use right into tutorials in Oxford with an old spinster who gave us Old French tutes. When I (again) hadn't written my essay and had to fill a whole hour, I would start on about her cats (invariably asleep on teetering piles of books around the room) and bingo - before I knew it it was time to go

On another tack, it's just really creepy how many paedophilic teachers there were and how much was just accepted [shudder] At lot changed for the good with the Children's Act in 1988 (just as I left that place in Derbyshire...)

Some of these are just horrific!
I think everyone had some pretty crazy school trips! On one in the 6th form I slept with the new history teacher and on another geography one (In the lake District) we played a game of spin the bottle... with the teachers! On one school trip we played the prostitute game, ie you dress in your tartiest clothes and stand on street corners seeing who could get kerb crawled first

Rosaluxembourg!!!! That is so scary!! where was this school?
The Madness of Nuns!

LOL Custardo!

BellaDonna!!!!!!!!!
Actually I remember our music teacher sleeping with one of his pupils, he was VILE.
I want to know more about that history teacher and how you look on his behaviour now!!

Someone in my year got our RE teacher pregnant...they went on to have a couple of kids together and lived in sin quite happily for some years, I understand.

When I was 15, one of the 6th formers ran away with the biology teacher. Dunno why - the teacher was really gross. Urgh.

Primary school teacher slapped a 4 year old boy across the legs very hard when he accidently sat his chair over her toes (served her right the evil old cow) and that was only 15 years ago!

On one school trip, no-one checked that the minibus door was shut properly and a boy fell out half way up a hill.

I remember a primary school teacher I had in the 80s who was probably past retirment age often kept nettles on her desk and if a child was extremely naughty she would sting them with the nettles shock

My sister once went on a school trip where the coach crashed. The children - aged 8 and 9 - were all told not to mention it to their parents or make a fuss about it!

I suffered lots of nose bleeds when in junior school and I remember regularly been given a tampon to put up my nose as it refused to stop for ages....

great thread, if only to be thankful the good old days are over
a great deal of public corporal punishment at primary school, including one poor boy (5yo) being put over the headmistress's knee for not standing still in assembly
and my poor friend being spanked by her mother, who was standing in as our teacher, in front of the whole class. hideous.
in secondary school, a great deal of caning and whacking with a plimsoll.
cutting off chunks of hair if you twiddled or sucked it.
me and my friend finding a rotting horse corpse and inviting all our friends to see it and going back until we could get hold of a leg bone
we had the foetuses in jars too
and a pervy art teacher who used to fondle girls behind the kilns
he didn't fancy me though

we also used to - for a dare - cross underneath a footbridge over the bypass - about 50 feet up I reckon
shudder to think of it