What things do you remember from your schooldays that would have the MN police screeching for Ofsted/Social Services/the Police?

[frogs]

Prompted by a discussion with a group of old schoolmates which confirmed a memory so bizarre that I always thought I must have hallucinated it. But no, it turns out that in the early 80s, in a bog-standard Catholic comprehensive in provincial England we did in fact spend our history lessons learning to sing overtly pro-IRA rebel songs, such as The men behind the wire and Tiocfaidh ár lá. Bearing in mind that this was during the hunger strikes in the early Thatcher years, when Sinn Fein was considered so dangerous that Gerry Adams' voice was dubbed on the news (remember that?) it's only just dawned on me how seditious the whole thing was. Unbe-bloody-lievable. Can you imagine the hoo-hah if that happened today?

And on a very different note, another friend confirmed that when we went to boarding school aged 15, we were allowed one clean shirt per week which was worn from Monday to Saturday inclusive (we had a different one for Sundays). In a school full of teenage girls. And hair washing was by rota only, limited to once a week. Rank.

So what badness, madness or just plain weirdness did you take in your stride at school which would be unthinkable today?

I remember a teacher describing my friend as the half cast girl.

sadly you do still hear that phrase today, some one referred to my children as H/C not so long ago. i remember doing litter duty,even when there was no litter!!!!!

Having to shower naked in front of the gym teachers, I used to fake a period every week!!!!!!!

I was smacked in school... for eating an orange. My mum had put one in my lunch box, so during the lunch hour I ate it. Turns out the teacher in question didn't let students eat oranges in her classroom (even during the lunch hour) because it made the class smell!

And if we were really naughty, our punishment was to be smacked on the bum (with your trousers pulled down) by the headteacher in front of the whole school in morning assembly.

The joys of an 80s education!

When I was in 3rd year of secondary school, we had Art last thing on a Friday for a double lesson, and our Art teacher used to leave school 20 minutes early, leaving us to clear up.

Goodness knows how she got away with it!

Our TD teacher used to bring his dog into class with him

Our German teacher lived in a tent on the school field for nearly a year.

Why? old hippie was he LOL

Haven't read the whole thread yet, but I do remember that along with taking the register back to the office etc in primary school, a kid would be picked every day to empty the teacher's ashtray

He'd applied for the post at my school which was 200 miles from where he lived and he couldn't afford to buy or rent somewhere until the sale of his other house was completed but he was very odd He took two suitcases full of exercise books on holiday and they were lost in transit...

The head teacher at our infants school smacking a boy with her hush puppy in school assembly. That hush puppy was green with a gold bar thing on the front and I can still see it now if I close my eyes, she bent him over her knee and smacked him with it, twice. Even then I was quite shocked.

primary school teacher (i must have been about 10 i think) tell us in class abouthow the IRA would take men, and strap them into cars with bombs attached and make them drive into crowded places. 'it could be any MAN, even your dad!'

jeeez, we lived in hertfordshire FGS.

mad mad woman.

I remember going on a school trip and a friend and I were left behind and the teachers hadn't noticed we had gone missing. We hitchhiked and were picked up by a policeman and his family on holiday.

My fiancee told me about the time her primary school class was taken en masse for a day at a nearby secondary school. They had arranged a series of taster lessons (fun chemistry, power tools in woodwork etc), but unknown to the girls they'd also arranged a PE lesson using their proper gymnastics equipment. They were sent to the changing rooms and told to remove their shoes and socks. Entering the gym they were briefed on the equipment then told that dresses were dangerous and they'd have to take them off! If they were wearing a vest or bra they could keep them but if not then they'd have to make do ! The girls were 11 for goodness sake!

We used to spend physics lessons doging the chalk board wiper that the teacher was chucking at us. We also used to flick mercury at each other.

In 1st year at junior school, teacher was a bully who was prone to smacking, hitting across knuckles until they bled... but god help anyone who upset her many pets which she brought into school daily, including a King Charles Spaniel [hmm)

In 2nd year at same school, we were all encouraged to become vegetarians / vegans and join anti-vivisections groups...

By 3rd year I'd transferred to another school...

I went to High School in the 70's and everyday something happened that 'wouldn't be allowed now'. Mainly along the lines if corporal punishment..... the cane, the slipper (pump), cricket bat. Our history teacher once had a lad up against the wall by his throat with his feet off the ground - and in primary a teacher held a boy upsidedown by the ankles. He later went to a Special School and was probably autistic

Also there was the compulsory stripping off for showers after PE, being thrown into the deepend when you couldn't swim and being made to run around the football field in the rain barefoot, because you had no pumps. Grim.

We had some laughs too - sticking down everything on the History teacher's (same one) desk with superglue and him making suggestions as to what we should take booze-wise to our very regular houseparties. And overlooking the booze in our school bags when we were going to a sleepover straight from school.

you could buy a single cigarette and 1 match for ten pence at lunchtime, from the local newsagent, special discount for schoolkids

god, naked showering after PE forgot now

'Physical Literacy' now at my dd's school, what's that about

remember getting sent to school with sandwiches and lettuce. or if things really bad just sandwishes with salad cream only.

Putting mouth over the gas tap in the chemical lab, turing on the tap, filling nouth with gas, breathing out and setting light to it.

Poor work being ripped up in front of the whole class, thrown on the floor, then the child had to crawl round the floor picking up the bits

We were taken on an outing to Hampstead Heath at the end of term when we were 9 / 10 yrs old (Year 5 it would be now) and allowed to get into groups of 4 and go off and play for the whole morning anywhere we wanted on the Heath as long as we were back at the meeting point for lunch. Then we were allowed off again for the whole afternoon until going home time - unless our parents had signed a letter saying we could make our own way home. This was in the mid 80s. I can't see any of that being allowed now.

We also had an ex-probation officer as a teacher in Year 4 and 5 who used to whack us with a ruler, poke us in the chest really hard when she was telling us off, and call us 'div' and 'thicko' if we got things wrong.

The teachers at secondary school were much more informal with us than teachers are with kids these days, and this was only the late 80s / early 90s.

Just remembered...

... being allowed to drink copious amounts fo wine at dinner during a school trip to France when we were 13/14. On the same trip our Deputy Head got completely rat arsed and had to be helped by pupils to his room.

...Our Head of Year used to smoke in his office. It was a tiny little room and you'd be in there getting a bollocking from him while he puffed on a red Marlboro.

...Another Head of Year who caught us smoking weed at break time and said 'Look, we all like areefer in our spare time, just don't do it in school OK' and sent us back to lesson with no punishment at all

...Practically the whole fifth year bringing fake ID to our end of year boat party along the Thames and using it to get served at the bar - even though all the teachers were there and the boat people must have known we were all school leavers

School trip to germany when we were 13. Stopped off in Ostend en route, where we were all allowed to go off on our own. We all hired go-karts and whizzed along the seafront in them, nobody knew where we were. Then when we got to Germany we were pretty much left unsupervised at night, got involved in the hotel wine-tasting
Went on a trip to Fantasialand, a big German theme park, and we were allowed to go off in groups on our own for the day.
Teachers getting pissed in hotel one night and deputy head putting her head round the bedroom door (where about 12 of us were gathered, smoking) and telling us "shush, remember, you can do anything quietly... " !!!

That was one hell of a school trip. Bloody marvellous!! It was wasted on 13 year olds