DD disappointed with uni course - what are the options? Would appreciate your thoughts!

[AnonAnora]

DD has had a most difficult time with choosing a uni. She is very bright and had all As predicted, got offers from all the RG unis she put down. Took a really long time to firm up and then before the results day decided to switch unis via clearing. All those courses were in Clearing this summer. She was absolutely set on Bristol. We had visited and she loved it.

On the results day, her first choice was confirmed but she was adamant she wants to switch. Unfortunately, she just missed out on the course at Bristol that she wanted but was offered a course in a similar subject. She still wanted to go and thought she would try to transfer later.

Well, she is now at Bristol and her tutor said that she cannot switch as there are no places. She cannot change to a combined degree either, for the same reason.

She doesn't know what to do. She regrets not taking up the other offer - although she was absolutely sure when she made the choice and that she was happy with the risk. What can she do now? Start the other course and see how it goes? Transfer in the end of Year 1, back to Year 1 in her chosen subject (and pay 20k plus for the loss of the year)? Withdraw now and take a gap year?

And to think, she had her pick of the great unis!

Having read the options: there are some useful political ones there in terms of understanding the uk. Personally - popular music looks great! However, some pretty useless ones too in terms of employment. As happens at other universities, students should run a mile from some options.

@TizerorFizz I don't know anything about Bristol but most of the 'Woke' XR/ statue defacing types are posh public school kids! They know Daddy will pull some strings even if they have a criminal record!

@RainbowBagelsThey were disgruntled Bristol locals. The council had been slow to react to local feelings. I don’t think the rich are mostly responsible for defacing anything much but a few court cases get reported - most low profile vandalism doesn’t attract any attention . Who do you think removed the Colston statue? Bristol students had wandered by it for decades without removing it.

Oh, stop trying to dig for info on DS! If you really must know - first class degree in history (with a specialism in recent social and political history) from a RG university. Yay him. Did not apply to Bristol as , at the time, it did not suit his various requirements.

Hipsters are woke. Woke is good. Lots of/most hipsters come from very middle class backgrounds. Social activists cluster in certain degree course. The city of Bristol is very liberal and known for its social activism (and , obviously, not everyone has to opt in to this culture) None of this is controversial and I did not mention schooling. It's your assertion that wealthy students can't possibly be Woke. This is nonsense. It's one of the things people and politicians level against activists on the whole

DS has extensive knowledge of sociology and history. These subjects do not vary widely form uni to uni in teaching staff approaches or modules.

I know a good deal about sociology and was trying to help the OP. If you think I am besmirching Bristol, I am not and have not done.

PS Bristol may well have changed a good deal since your DD was there.

@Piggywaspushed it undoubtedly has but neither do your few students mean the majority are like them, and course matters! It’s certainly a university where dc expect good careers after uni and of course students want to be with students like them. Bristol doesn’t have the strongest SU though and is still a university with quite a large private school intake but I suspect on certain courses! I think not on sociology these days. It’s lower than Durham and Exeter for example for privately educated and is a multicultural city. That has not changed. It is also targeted by employers when choosing what unis to visit and suits many who want a good career in London. Activists - not so much attracted to it. Other universities see more activists and politics along those lines is much more developed elsewhere.

OK ,well, I will just repeat. Bristol and its university are known for activism. This is just true.

DS's uni far less so, so if you are trying to imply he is an activist at some trendy uni who thinks all unis are like his, this is not true.

@Piggywaspushed it’s absolutely not! You really have no idea of the wider university. It’s known for many great employers recruiting from there and many grads looking for highly paid graduate roles. It has one of the best law schools in the country and ditto for engineering. It’s nothing like many northern city universities. It’s also a fairly expensive place to be a student.

Most under graduates keep well away from activism because employers look at videos and they don’t want activist employees. It’s not a general feature of Bristol at all but maybe your students look for like minded people? They might find it’s not what they think though . No one really takes student politics seriously there from what I’ve seen. A tiny minority might. Most privately educated dc there certainly are not interested. @XeniaWere your dc activists whilst at Bristol? I’ve never ever known anyone choose Bristol for this aspect of student life and certainly many students would swerve any rubbish like this too. Who needs it?

@TizerorFizz Why are your posts so aggressive? Really unnecessary. This was a really supportive post of the OPs situation but some how you’ve made it an argument regarding whether or not Bristol is an activist university or not…..

@AnonAnora How’s your DD getting on?

Hi @Floatingthroughthank you for checking in! Just the day when it helps a lot, a stressful one.
So a transfer is not possible. They have a wait list and now movement.
DD has been fighting Freshers Flu since Monday so not in the best shape either physically. She has had the classes, said they are ok. We are coming to visit on Sunday and will talk. She has until next Friday to make a decision.
The more she spends there, the more she gets used to the uni and her new mates. Which would be sad to abandon. But also the more she stays the better idea she gets about the course. I pray and hope that she either absolutely loves it or absolutely hates it. Either one will make the choice obvious. Anything in between and she will be not sure what to do...

I have cried in the morning with all the pressure and have had a headache all day. I would prefer it if she loved the course and stayed and enjoyed it. I don't know maybe I should just make the decision for her if she cannot do it. I so wish noq I had made the decision in August and avoided all this palaver.

She has AstarAAA. So she meets the requirements for all the same courses in Politics for which she applied last year. She even meets Ocbridge, LSE, UCL and King's College.

Sorry for the typos, I do usually proofread

I think you are getting over involved here. She has really good A Levels, she's made her decision and she has to live with it not you. You choosing for her won't help with her chronic indecisiveness. Jobs arent just about qualifications. If she never learns things like decision making skills herself then she will lose out to people who do have those skills.

@AnonAnora i Know it’s a worry and we all want to protect our children but you really can’t make the decision for your DD - she needs to decide for herself. I know that it will be hard to standby and watch but stay strong and believe that it will work out. She doesn’t sound unhappy snd whilst not raving about her course she isn’t complaining so you never know. Fingers crossed.

@AnonAnora I was a bit like your daughter many moons ago - straight A student got the grades but had always been set on being a fashion designer and studying in London. Got offered a place at London college of fashion and on the day of accepting my place I couldn't do it. I pulled out, got a 1 way ticket to Sicily and spent a month couch surfing with a friend. Came home and worked in a restaurant and started uni in Bristol UWE a year later. I also struggled with making decisions then and also suffered with depression. I think it was the weight of always wanting things to be perfect and making the "right" decision. Now 20 years later I can see there is no right or wrong decision, more that you have to own it whatever you choose to do. That decision was a costly one though as it meant rather than me paying 1k per year i ended up paying 3k.
I didn't go to the prestigious uni but I did have a brilliant time at Bristol, got a 1st in Fashion and have been working as a fashion designer ever since. I know plenty of people who switched courses after their 1st year and plenty of people who do jobs totally unrelated to their degree and people who changed career 1 or 2 years after graduating. I think its so hard for young people today vs when I went to uni as the fees are so much higher, competition is much stronger and the pressure to make the right decision must be huge. Particularly if you don't have a burning ambition. My best advice to your daughter is to stick it out if she's loving everything else so far. There's still plenty of time to figure things out. I'd also recommend getting as much work experience and exposure to career paths she might be interested in.

I will add the year i spent at home was a painful one - all of my friends were at uni having fun, moving on with their lives and I felt like I was left behind. I worked in a restaurant and loved it but I was so ready to go to uni by the end.

@AnonAnoraOxford doesn’t offer politics. Not sure about Cambridge but there’s always PPE.

@TizerorFizz Oxford offers History and Politics AAA which would work with her grades and subjects (she wasn't planning to apply)

See @Crapola25 that's my worry about the gap year

DD described her first impressions of the lectures as "alright" and "manageable" as in "I wasn’t overly enthusiastic about it but it wasn’t awful".

@AnonAnora you need to let her decide. It is her life, her choice. Her mistake or right decision. But she needs to do what she think is right. You can neutrally present options. I know you are worried she won’t do anything with her year out, but you can stipulate she will need to get a job and/or do something useful (travel/au pair/volunteer/something?). Personally, I had a great year out. I went and learnt French in France. That enabled me to au pair and then do a postdoc in Quebec. You never know where life will lead you. She doesn’t have to stay at home, there are options she could do if she took a year off. The course IS important at university. She has to do this for three years.

Thank you @Onvacation. She says that she has been thinking all day about the Gap Year scenario but that she "just really doesn't want to leave the friends she has made there".

With an older child at Uni, I am hearing so many stories about students that became disenchanted with the courses that they did choose. Who can know for sure that if she were to switch to politics that she would find the actual subject enjoyable? She hasn't studied it either and wasn't keen on it when choosing A Levels.

There were friendship.troubles within her circle at school which caused her quite a bit of upset. So I can understand why she values the newly found mates. The social aspect and finding her tribe was something that she was worried about when thinking about the future life at Uni.

AAA at Oxford is not really AAA though. Plus there’s tests. Who is actually on the course with AAA? However she can make up her own mind and seems to prefer elsewhere.

What’s the point of this post? OP has said DD is not interested in applying to oxbridge.