DD disappointed with uni course - what are the options? Would appreciate your thoughts!

[AnonAnora]

DD has had a most difficult time with choosing a uni. She is very bright and had all As predicted, got offers from all the RG unis she put down. Took a really long time to firm up and then before the results day decided to switch unis via clearing. All those courses were in Clearing this summer. She was absolutely set on Bristol. We had visited and she loved it.

On the results day, her first choice was confirmed but she was adamant she wants to switch. Unfortunately, she just missed out on the course at Bristol that she wanted but was offered a course in a similar subject. She still wanted to go and thought she would try to transfer later.

Well, she is now at Bristol and her tutor said that she cannot switch as there are no places. She cannot change to a combined degree either, for the same reason.

She doesn't know what to do. She regrets not taking up the other offer - although she was absolutely sure when she made the choice and that she was happy with the risk. What can she do now? Start the other course and see how it goes? Transfer in the end of Year 1, back to Year 1 in her chosen subject (and pay 20k plus for the loss of the year)? Withdraw now and take a gap year?

And to think, she had her pick of the great unis!

OP your daughter sounds a bit like me 20 years ago. I dropped out of my uni course (also at Bristol) at the beginning of my second year after realising it wasn't right for me. Stayed in the city and worked in a bar for a year whilst applying for the course I realised I did want to do (law), also at Bristol. Completed my degree and haven't looked back since. Your story struck a chord because I had a similar background to your daughter in terms of A-level results and subjects, university, and eventual career - I now work in politics.

My experience is too long ago to be of any practical use in terms of your daughter's options, but I just wanted to reassure you that although it might feel like she has messed up it is really not the end of the world in the grand scheme of things. For me it was a huge step to quit my course but it also gave me a sense of confidence that I had done what was right for me rather than continuing with something just because I'd started. She is still very young and just finding her way as an adult, I know it must feel very frustrating for you but I expect it will all work out fine in the end and she will hopefully learn from the experience.Try to keep a sense of perspective.

Which is fine for politics or sociology but it then seems odd that she chose to apply for politics (and IR?) degrees, having done her work experience etc and being really motivated . And then in the end deciding politics wasn't actually the most important thing to her at all.

My main point, really , is that having done neither at a A Level she doesn't really have any pre-insight into what the subjects look like in a learning environment.

You haven't really said , OP, why she suddenly so much wanted to be at Bristol. If that really is the most important thing she has three choices:

Stay with sociology at Bristol (FWIW, it's an excellent department)

After two weeks try to swap but be prepared to be thwarted

Drop out and reapply for politics and IR at Bristol. She'll almost certainly get an offer.

OP - Based on her Alevels she may find that she really enjoys sociology. Ignore anyone including me when people imply that a degree in sociology is less employable….this isn’t true. As I’ve said to my nieces and nephews who have done degrees in criminology, business, English, and psychology the point of a gaining a degree is the learning and having fun….they need to know that the biggest value of a degree is that regardless of the career path they go on having a degree means you are not barred from senior management jobs because rightly or wrongly they often require a degree to be able to apply - my understanding is that the graduate job market today is a small pool. Even in my day (1999/2000) the graduate job / milk round was limited and most people start in jobs that they could have done with their Alevels but those without a degree often found they can’t progress. Every young person needs to know that a degree isn’t a gold ticket to walking into a £40k year grad job - it never has been for the majority but it is the ticket you need to eventually earn very good money.

@AnonAnora
my DD has just started Politics at an RG uni. During clearing we had a wobble on whether to try a different uni (Bristol/Warwick/Bath) but we knew she’d only get ‘adjacent’ courses as Politics is extremely popular at Bristol. She did get couple of such options but in the end she felt that she needed to do Politics and she stuck to her firm choice. We felt the same - that she’d lose interest if it weren’t Politics.

If your DD is set on Politics that’s what she should do. Yes, mistakes happen - but nothing that she cannot recover from. She has brilliant ALevel grades and could possibly have her pick of universities - even if that means waiting a year. Perhaps she could even try to better her options by applying to Unis that seemed out of reach last year. With grades in hand she will get quick unconditional offers and in the longer run she will never have to suffer because of a poor decision she made at 18. She can make the gap year work to her benefit with some great work-ex, get a better uni and reach her potential.

At 18, YP sometimes need a nudge to take big decisions and in your shoes this would be my steer.

option 1: switch to Bristol Politics

option 2: switch to equivalent/better uni Politics

option 3: gap year + better uni Politics

what is not a great option is to continue Bristol Sociology

Good Luck to your DD, she sounds brilliant with her fab grades, she deserves to go to a Uni/course of her choice.

My experience is too long ago to be of any practical use in terms of your daughter's options
God I wish more people would say this instead of harping on about yesteryear!

If your DD isn’t sure about her course after a week, and she is sure she wants to do politics (and she sounds like she has a real passion for that), then I would absolutely let her leave and start again. She could go an au-pair in France, she could work and go and do camp America. She can grow up a little (not in any bad way - 18 is so young), she can reapply and start next year with a bit more confidence.

But she 100% should choose a course based on her interests. A degree if you don’t love what you are studying is a waste of time and opportunity (and money). Although if you start loving it but realise it isn’t for you that is totally reasonable! But starting something and hoping you learn to love it is the wrong way round.

Hope her first week goes really well. But, admitting you have made a mistake and finding a way to change that is a really positive ability.

The deputy head of school Professor Ana E Juncos Garcia - Our People is a politics professor - might be worth an email? Also has she asks about joints (e.g. politics and quanative methods

Thanks a lot @drwitch!

Sadly a lot of opportunities from past years, like aupairing in France or working a ski season in the Alps have closed to UK passport holders since Brexit. Unless she has an EU passport it won’t be as easy to find jobs and even volunteering roles in Europe.

I can imagine it is more complicated, sadly, but the son of a friend of mine was able to do it last year, so it is still very much possible. With A-level French, the OPs DD would be a great candidate (if it is something that interests her 😁).

Understand this must be very frustrating when she had everything lined up, but have you thought about why she has delayed decision making and then made decisions which essentially result in her not being able to do a degree? She has basically led herself to a point where you are going to say, Come home.
Is it failure avoidance? She's been very academically successful and this is now a big step to be expected to go to RG and presumably you think she should get a 1st then a good graduate job.

I think after moving her in at uni, I'd be inclined to tell her she's staying. Tell her it's only 9 months and it doesn't matter if it's a write-off year. Maybe she just needs to hear that.

That's an interesting take. I haven't thought about the possibility of her not wanting to go to uni at all at this point. And that maybe that's why she went through the motions of applying and choosing but couldn't decide. She did mention that she was considering taking a gap year, several times. She knew that both DH and I were not supportive of that idea.

3 years is a long time to be doing a subject you’re not set on. And she does sound keen on politics from her epq and her internship with the MP. Pull out before the two week fee cut off would be my advice.

Hmm that does put a different take on it. She sounds like a high achiever. Maybe she's a bit burnt out by it all. Why were you not keen on the gap year option?

She might want to go but be scared of failing. Can you tell her a year doing sociology is fine even if it doesn't lead to anything, a 2:1 is fine etc? Take off the pressure? Once she gets into uni life she might be fine, I'd be worried that if she came home she didnt end up going again

I work in university admissions. If there aren’t spaces on the course then she won’t be able to change. It is pointless emailing the academic staff, they are unable to do anything, it would be the admissions office who process it anyway. She could email admissions, and ask to be placed on the waitlist if there is one.

We have this request by many many students, unfortunately we physically cannot take more students on to a course if there are no places. There won’t be capacity in teaching rooms, there will be too many people in seminar groups etc, we can’t just let all people who request join. This week I had a son and mother come to the office to request this, and unfortunately for fairness we just have to say no.

She should check if she can transfer in second year, some courses do not allow this full stop. This doesn’t answer your question about what to do, and I don’t work at Bristol, but I thought I’d say something so she doesn’t spend hours writing emails to academics and having false hope.

I had no idea what she would be doing during the gap year and she wasn't making any concrete plans at that point. I didn't want her to find herself doing nothing and just idling. I know that she was working very hard at school and she was tired - but then so was everyone else around her. I was worried that she would lose momentum and it would be harder for her to get back into rigorous study after a year's break.

Didn't end up going again - what do you mean?

Well, it will be a waste of a year is she is set on transferring to Politics from next September back into year 1. What would be the point of studying and applying effort if this academic year will not go anywhere and she would need to start again? I imagine it would be quite demoralising. And she would pay circa 23K for the privilege of doing 1/3 of the degree course which she is planning to strike off anyway.

It is true though that she might start the lectures and actually enjoy the sociology subject. Problem is, she will need to decide how much she likes it within two weeks so it will have to be pretty much love at first sight.

Gap years can be absolutely fantastic. I think you need to let her make her own choices. And I strongly disagree with the PP who suggested making her stay for a year. She is trying to find her way and make her decisions.

She has done really well up to now.

I meant that if she comes home, she might not go to uni the following year. If the reason is failure avoidance.
To me, a year spent studying sociology, or anything in fact, would not be a waste. She's only 18, a year is nothing. You could frame it as a positive that she doesn't have to worry so much about her grades etc and she can get a part-time job and work on living away from home as an adult. I appreciate there is the student debt aspect though.
It just sounds a bit like there is quite a lot of pressure on her to do well, either studying that isnt 'a waste of time' or a gap year that is planned out adequately and is useful to her career. Sorry I don't mean to be critical, but it is possible that this pressure to succeed is making her paralysed in indecision.

Hmm it does sound like she is a bit fatigued by it all. I think you need to give her limited options- gap year but get a job or stick out the sociology but on the basis that she may not be able to swap. She'll be applying again for 2026 in a few months with grades in hand so she won't be forgetting about the whole thing for a year.

I am not sure you have enough information to make that suggestion. It is quite a catastrophic prediction and it is important to note that making a decision that it was the wrong decision might be a positive and not a negative.

I do agree with you that a gap year can be a positive thing. But obliging an 18 year old to stay if they want to do one course, but have ended up on another - that is potentially problematic. The OP will know their child, and the DD will know their thoughts. Ultimately it is the 18 year old who should make a final decision.

I took a year out and felt refreshed if anything going back to study and she can enrich herself by gaining practical experience in politics (volunteering for local MP?) and earning.

@YourFairCyanReader you are not coming across as critical at all and I appreciate your posts. You may be right, getting good grades has always been expected of her but then she has always been very bright. So why shouldn't we? DH and I both have professional jobs, postgraduate degrees and great work ethics. I wouldn't thought it's good to encourage the children to aim high and work towards their dreams. And yes, that they need to get good get grades and aspire for top unis as they are capable and as it could give them good education and good job prospects. Aren't most parents like that?

I realise I am defending myself but you made me think back and question my parenting (this is not an accusation!). If anything, I thought I was too lenient and not pushy enough in many things like in her sports or other hobbies.

Yes agreed, I just meant that the 18yo needs to be able to make whatever decision she wants and know that's OK and she still has her parents' approval. Even if it's to do something not obviously 'valuable'. You're right the OP will know her DD and we can only offer perspectives with very little info.