Complaint against school

[tubsters]

Posting with a name change to protect my child’s identity. Has anyone had experience with a Level 3 complaint panel hearing at a school?

My 12-year-old son, who has never really been in trouble before, was given what I feel were punitive and degrading punishments. For example, he was made to sit alone on a bench in the yard for about an hour, as all the other children walked past knowing he’d been excluded from a trip – a clear act of public humiliation.

He was also called into a meeting with the Head and three other teachers, where he was pressured to end every sentence with “sir.” He was clearly nervous, and this only heightened the power imbalance and distress he felt. he is usually very polite and would always use ‘sir ‘ in normal circumstances

I accept that children need discipline and have always supported teachers, but the way this was handled felt oppressive and unnecessary, especially for a child who posed no danger and was already anxious.

The Head has denied much of this, so I escalated it to the governors and it’s now going to a panel hearing. I feel quite daunted about going up against the school, but I strongly believe this needs to be addressed for my son’s sake and for other children in the future.

If anyone has been through a panel hearing and can share their experience or advice, I’d be really grateful.

OMG 😏

My 12-year-old son, who has never really been in trouble before

This is from @tubsters OP and tells you every thing you need to know about her attitude towards her son's behaviour.

Maybe they wanted to borrow her helicopter. What a load of old shit!

oh for gods sake. It was none of those things. It is actually irrelevant. It is not what I am asking. Why do you hate children?

Quite! People are so vicious . Is it jealousy? Do they have children ? i am lost!

But presumably OP consciously chose for her DC a school where pupils call male teachers "sir"…

So public humiliation is acceptable for your child is it if you think they didn’t deserve it? nice!

Yes! Respect is important for me! But not to be enforced when there’s three adults crowding round a 12-year-old boy who is clearly very nervous, anxious and distressed

...says pretty much EVERY parent.

Not jealous at all - can happily say that my son has never found himself in this position 🧐 I wonder why that could be?! 😂

@tubsters - still going...impressive.

It's your interpretation. Let's face it, you've burnt your bridges with the school. Not a good place to be. Your son must have done something very serious to be excluded from a trip. It's easier for you to channel your anger at the school rather than face up to what he's done. I've seen this a million times. Old as the world.

And still no clue from OP of what her little cherub has done. Must be worse than anyone has guessed so far…

I know!

Or your parenting? Perhaps if schools were actually able to give a meaningful punishment and I don’t mean the cane, without parents complaining, children’s behaviour wouldn’t be as appealing as it is now! If he was being punished for misbehaving his friends will have already known what he did! Perhaps you need to I still some disapline rather than complaining when the school do! There is absolutely nothing wrong with children using Sir!

No, it isn’t like that at private schools. The threshold is far lower. I think the state school discipline policy is probably far more fairer and transparent. Less likely a head can go rogue

Yes. It is very unusual to exclude children from a school trip. Even the worst behave child would always go, just with more adult supervision. I have worked in schools for over 10 years and in all that time I can only think of 1 instance when a child was excluded.

i’m actually really happy about the manners that my children have. I’ve got no problem with a child using the word sir. I’ve paid for a school in which they instill these values after all. However, I do have a problem with a very nervous and upset child being constantly tripped over in their speechfor not using it with three adults present anyone else that doesn’t agree with that has no common ground with me.

"Go rogue"

Lol

My child attends a private school. The threshold is not lower. Was it drug-related?

As I’ve said before, not in a private school it’s very different my post specifically about private schools and peoples experience

So it was appropriate then for them both to be sitting on a bench. It wasn’t just him. They were deciding what to do. Sounds like it was a serious offence. Also sounds like he cried from embarrassment for getting caught out.

So the moral is don’t do it (the offence) in the first place: the teachers didn’t make him sit in a bench to humiliate him.

He needs to learn that you can’t just cry and expect to get away with stuff. Unless of course he’s always done that at home and it’s worked?

The OP will say this is because she sends her child private and they have a lower threshold for behaviour expectations. As if she doesn’t have a choice to send her son to state school… oh wait that would mean dealing with far inferior parents and children in her view 😂

what at 12?! Purlease…!

I thought smoking