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Original poster

Sending children to primary school 10 miles away? Is it selfish?

45 replies

Zalape · 21/01/2025 21:23

We live on the outskirts of a city. There’s a good primary school here about 2 miles away, but it’s the wrong way for our work. Due to traffic it would add about 20 mins onto our journey to work in the mornings. Our children are 1 & 2.

There’s another primary school we like the look of that’s in a small village about 10 miles away. We could drop our kids off on the way to work with no detour, so our commute would be the same.

The vibe of the village is very different to ours as it’s an ex-mill town and sadly quite deprived. Nevertheless the school gets quite good scores.

Would you do it? We worry a bit about the kids not having local friends or maybe even being bullied for not fitting in. I was born in the village and my old school friends tell me where we live is dead posh… (it’s not!!)

OP posts:
FairDuck · 21/01/2025 21:30

Would your children get places at the village school. Quite near here there is a small rural school that only takes 7 children into each year group. Also rural schools are move prone to being taken over or closed. By the time your children start school it may have closed down. Another thing to consider is if you are ill, do you really want to drive a 20 mile round trip to take your children to school. Another thing to consider is bad weather. If it snows would you be able to get to school? Schools are now under pressure to minimise snow days and the like. It may seem easier to drop children on way to work but you need to consider all aspects. I would opt for the closer school.

MumChp · 21/01/2025 21:33

Be prepared to spend a lot of time to ferry kids to activities and playdates if you choose a school 10 miles away from home.

Whatabouthow · 21/01/2025 21:36

I doubt you'd get in, that's literally miles from you

Original poster
Zalape · 21/01/2025 21:40

We would - it’s a faith school

OP posts:
Whatabouthow · 21/01/2025 21:41

Zalape · 21/01/2025 21:40

We would - it’s a faith school

A decent faith school in a deprived area will be over subscribed

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 21/01/2025 21:42

I’d always go to the local school as easier for friendships throughout the years.

moleeye · 21/01/2025 21:43

Neither sound ideal

The ferrying will be relentless for play dates, they will want to do after school activities which means they finish at different times.

What are the breakfast club and after school provisions like?

BeansAndNoodles · 21/01/2025 21:47

Aren't there any schools in walking distance from home? Tbh unless there was absolutely no choice I'd always want my DC to be at a school they could walk to. One of mine is currently in a special school 10 miles away and it's an absolute ball ache, I can't wait for him to finish there!

FairDuck · 21/01/2025 21:50

Zalape · 21/01/2025 21:40

We would - it’s a faith school

The only time you would be guaranteed a place would be a Catholic school with Baptism before 6 months old as top priority. As another poster put, if it's a deprived area then the faith school will be oversubscribed. You mention about your worry that your children will be bullied for not being local. If your child gets a place rather than someone living closer I don't think it will help your relationship with the other families, unless you are not bothered about that.

Proudmummy67 · 21/01/2025 21:51

Look at their admissions policy. I've just applied for a faith school for my ds. He is baptised but we don't live in their parish so he gets pushed down the criteria. It will depend on how many others apply etc.

MarchingFrogs · 21/01/2025 21:55

Does the village school in a deprived area provide an after school club, or are your working days so short that you will be picking your DC up on the way home? Have you investigated childminders in your home locality who cover the local school? Is a school two miles away actually the nearest? Would you get in anyway from where you live, or is it another faith school and you qualify on baptism / church attendance?

ElsaLion · 21/01/2025 22:00

The school we have applied to for our DS is a Catholic school 10 miles away from our home (we are a Catholic family but also love rurally). We applied there because it is has an outstanding reputation, and the only other options closer to home are honestly rubbish. We are however also considering home educating, but have considered the impact of driving such a distance, in case we decide to send DS to the school instead.

ElsaLion · 21/01/2025 22:01

Live, not love!

FairDuck · 21/01/2025 22:01

Proudmummy67 · 21/01/2025 21:51

Look at their admissions policy. I've just applied for a faith school for my ds. He is baptised but we don't live in their parish so he gets pushed down the criteria. It will depend on how many others apply etc.

The Catholic primary school near me lists the parishes in order of precedence. Although actually one parish about 5 miles away has higher priority than it's position would suggest because the Catholic school in that parish got closed so the parents of the children at the time got offered places at my local one and the priority remains even 10 years later. Last year a parent could not get her second child in because their parish is lower priority and sibling rule only applies in each sub category.

Hurdlin · 21/01/2025 22:03

Many children who live rurally travel 10+ miles on school buses to their nearest primary so it's not uncommon.

But I agree wirh PP above regarding the potential pitfalls for you.

MumonabikeE5 · 21/01/2025 22:08

A) will you get a place?
B) will the school really be open when you want to arrive, and open when you want to collect?
what is their breakfast and after school provision like? If you aren’t guaranteed a place in each will you really be able to be at work all day?
C) will you want to travel there every weekend for parties, gym lessons, etc etc: kids want to do their activities with their friends, this increases as they go up the school, because by year 1 there is very little free play time and they don’t get to sit and chat with their buddies in class, it’s even more true by year 3/4/5/6, so sociable children will want to see their friends outside of school to actually play and to build on their friendship.
D) you’ll find it hard to join in with parents who share childcare, help each other out with pick ups when you’re running late, become your “village” if you live so far away.
why don’t you move closer to that school?
you’ll be closer to work.
you can bed into a new community

obviously some people do travel like this for schools, but it must be a restrictive ball ache.

PercyFone · 21/01/2025 22:09

Have you looked round the school and talked to current parents? 'Good scores' on paper count for very little when it comes to assessing the quality of education and experience it would give your kids

MissRoseDurward · 21/01/2025 22:11

We could drop our kids off on the way to work with no detour, so our commute would be the same.

What if one or both of you changes job so it's no longer on the way? Or you want to change job but can't because you're tied to this school run?

Proudmummy67 · 21/01/2025 22:12

FairDuck · 21/01/2025 22:01

The Catholic primary school near me lists the parishes in order of precedence. Although actually one parish about 5 miles away has higher priority than it's position would suggest because the Catholic school in that parish got closed so the parents of the children at the time got offered places at my local one and the priority remains even 10 years later. Last year a parent could not get her second child in because their parish is lower priority and sibling rule only applies in each sub category.

Show quote history

Oh wow! The admissions policy for this school states baptised children in the parish then under them is baptised children from any other parish, so there isn't an order of parish precedence like yours. It will just depend how many baptised children are in the parish and siblings are above that. We live in a city and this school is less than 2 miles from our house. All the parishes are pretty small but there are lots of them if that makes sense. We do have a closer one but the breakfast and after school clubs are an issue for us. It all gets very competitive.

achangeofusername · 21/01/2025 22:15

We do school a bit further than you OP and it's a faff.

  • general drop off and pick up can't be shared as there's v few people from our village at school
  • play dates are near the school, and people can be reluctant to come "all the way" out here.
  • school events (Christmas fairs etc) are (obviously) at the school
  • sick (vom) pick ups - although only happened once - was atrocious.
  • now they're old enough for after school clubs (music, sports etc) there's never a club they both want to do on the same day/ nothing ends at same time - lots of waiting in the car with the other one and paying for after school club.
RatalieTatalie · 21/01/2025 22:16

Mine go to a school about 9 miles away as we recently moved and they didn’t want to change schools. Like you it’s on my commute so no issue with getting them there.

but…mine hate being so far from their friends now. I’d say not a huge problem for my DD in primary but for the high schoolers who want to be out (lurking about!) after school, it’s a pain. They can’t be as spontaneous as their friends as need to plan lifts etc, so when group plans change at short notice it often means they can’t join in or that they’re left stranded waiting for me to come and collect.

clary · 21/01/2025 22:21

Are there really no nearer schools at all @Zalape ?

We live on the outskirts of a city and there are (counts) five primary schools within walking distance (that is, less than 20 minutes’ walk) and if I stretched that to two miles that would add four more. Any of which I would be happy to send my DC to tbh.

I agree with others about the 10-mile-away one:

  • Playdates and activities would be a pain
  • You will have to stay in your jobs
  • Yy sharing childcare – many times I would bob round to a neighbour as I had a child throwing up and ask them to take the other DC in – and vice versa; tricky if you are 10 miles away
  • Would you even get a place – look into this carefully – what is the school intake?
  • A big one that ppl don’t always mention – when my DC were in year 5 and 6 hardly anyone was picked up; the vast majority walked home themselves. Not only did this ease the burden of the school run, it was massive for their independence. Impossible ever to do this if you live 10 miles from school.
FacingTheWall · 21/01/2025 22:31

It’s fairly common to travel that distance in our county, so that wouldn’t be an issue for us. A few children in my dc’s classes lived away from the village and it didn’t seem to make much difference socially. Parents just facilitated play dates etc.

Also everyone saying you won’t get in - it may be that you’re in an area like ours where schools have falling rolls year on year at the moment, predicted that way for the next two years before steadying. Very, very few schools are oversubscribed and most are selling their schools hard to parents, so that they won’t have to make redundancies in the next couple of years.

Whatzzitz · 21/01/2025 22:36

I’d go for the local school so that friends were local. They will eventually reach an age where they are independently popping over to each others houses, cycling to school, meeting up on play areas

mitogoshigg · 21/01/2025 22:39

No guarantees even with faith schools, my friend lived close, kids baptised as infants and even worked for the church, still his dc didn't get in