Pros and Cons of all-girls schools

[ANightingaleSang]

Just that really. I went to a bog-standard mixed state school and so have no experience to draw on. What are people's thoughts and experiences with all-girls schools? Thank you!

I went to a girls' school and have taught in two (plus mixed schools and a boys' school).

I think girls' schools are brilliant. The two I've worked in (including my current one) have been the best schools I've taught at. The girls generally seem to thrive and enjoy being in a girls' school. There is a great atmosphere - more kind and nurturing than other secondary schools I've experienced. The general behaviour is absolutely miles better.

Obviously no school is immune to bullying, but these two schools have borne no relation to the bitchfest descriptions of girls' schools you hear from some people. Don't get me wrong- I've taught loads of great boys, but the atmosphere in a girls' school just feels more comfortable, encouraging and and accepting of difference.

I didn't love my all girls school. I found it quite bitchy at times and when I went to a boys school that took girls in sixth form it was such a relief. At that age they were just a bit sillier and didn't take life quite as seriously, so we had fun rather than sitting around talking about makeup .

It's interesting that people are talking about girls being seen as the default. The flip side of that is that presumably if you have girls schools, then you have boys schools where boys are seen as the default, which doesn't strike me as a terribly useful situation. My old school- the boys one- has now gone co-ed and has a great reputation.

DD went to a mixed state comprehensive, and has just started medical school. She did find that sometimes the boys thought they would be better than her at science, but when it turned out they weren't they were initially a bit taken aback and then just got on with it and asked her for help when they needed it. By the end of S6 she had a lovely mixed group of friends.

Question: did any of you who went have male siblings and did that help with the having male friends/being able to approach the opposite gender?

We're moving next year and the town has separate boy/girl secondaries. I'm a bit nervous about it tbh. The girls I knew who went to all girls school were giggly fools around boys at college/uni, however I'm thinking that because we have DC of both genders then maybe that won't be such an issue? Though the stories I know from all boys schools don't fill me with glee either.

It's been lovely reading some positive experiences on this thread!

I have no brothers, only sisters and went to an all girls school.

however I had plenty of friends who were boys. I mean I was at school from 9-3.30 - lots of time outside that to hang out with boys.

so no, I had no problem approaching the opposite sex - as I said earlier it was a school not a nunnery 😊

Daughter at an all girls school which is a grammar definitely thrives better there. She's able to be more confident and there are so many pros if I'm honest. She performs amazingly academically and loves her school. Her twin is at a state school which is much more suited to her so it definitely depends on the child

I went to an all girls school and had a positive experience, especially the thing about excelling at STEM subjects. I also knew lots of boys because there was a boys school nearby and we did some joint activities.

Having said that, my DC (both sexes) are going to a mixed school and it's been really good for them.

The disruption by boys is one of a few reasons I’d like my daughter to go to a single sex school. She has found many of the boys to be quite immature since about age 7.
Also around that age, the girls and boys seem to naturally stop having parties and play dates together anyway. They self segregate! So I figure she may as well be at a girls school where it’s also ok to be good at STEM etc but also have more GCSE and A levels options which we’ve not come across so much at mixed schools.
I went to one and loved it. I’ve worked in a couple of different careers and down a degree etc and all were mainly women so it’s also prepared me well!

Another thing I also found to be true on the flipside - girls who don’t want to do STEM stuff can excel in the arts and may find their school has better facilities for it.

Schools are very, very different now to how they were in 80’s, 90’s. And probably beyond. I don’t feel I can compare my secondary school life to how schools are now. You had to do something pretty bad in my very average, mixed sex comprehensive school to get a detention. Behaviour points didn’t exist. Teachers were old school and kids didn’t have many rights, you just had to do as you were told and get on with it whether it was fair or not. There is a a lot more focus on wellbeing now. But, I didn’t live in fear of being sexually harassed at my secondary school, I didn’t worry about anyone bringing a knife to school, or see anyone assaulting another child or a teacher. These are all things that have happened at the local mixed high school nearby and probably in many other schools across the country. I’m relieved DD isn’t at one of those schools.

I've posted on a few of these threads but I'd reiterate comments made already. My dd left year 6 of a good mixed school feeling like boys were dominating in class (they were a nice class but some had started to clown around to get attention). The mixed school was our first choice as she has a younger brother but she got a place at the girls' school instead. She's just started gcses and has had such a good experience. Classes are spent focusing on work, she has lovely friends and gets to do things like volunteering to help in the library really unselfconsciously. Her confidence in herself has grown massively.

“It's interesting that people are talking about girls being seen as the default. The flip side of that is that presumably if you have girls schools, then you have boys schools where boys are seen as the default, which doesn't strike me as a terribly useful situation. My old school- the boys one- has now gone co-ed and has a great reputation.”

• *@Habbibu the old adage is that girls do best in single sex schools and boys do best in co-ed!

There is some recent research that girls only schools offer an advantage to girls. Mixed sex schools benefits boys and not girls.

Girls getting better results in STEM subjects and talking about science is normal in any good (mixed) school.

https://ffteducationdatalab.org.uk/2024/05/do-pupils-in-single-sex-schools-get-better-grades/

I went to an all girls school in the 90s, hopefully things have changed. It sounds as though there is a strong STEM focus now which is great to hear. Mine was focused on making "little ladies". They would probably be sorely disappointed with my full time working mum/breadwinner status. The hormonal teenage mean girl years were horrific. I was a very average, sporty, not type A student. No physical attributes to stand out etc. I didn't escape the cliques and bullying. With girls it is more mental than physical and it was awful. The teachers couldn't have cared less tbh. Multiple girls had eating disorders/depression/other issues. Despite finishing senior school in co-ed I still struggle with networking in a mixed sex environment and seem to automatically gravitate towards girls. I personally wouldn't send my children to an all girls education based on my experiences.

I hated it. My Dad wasn’t around and I had no brothers so it really set back my social development for years and years. That said, I don’t have anything else to compare it to but I’d always choose a mixed school over single sex.

I wasn't suggesting that that was good for boys, rather that the existence of single sex schools might have the unfortunate effect of having some boys seeing boys as the default. I don't think that's good for boys.

I went to an all girls school and enjoyed it. No brothers, no outside activities - so no boyfriends or teenage snogging. Got to university and treated boys like any other person, it just wasn’t an issue.

On the all boys school issue, friends who are teachers tell me it can open up things like choir, drama and (oddly) biology to boys, where in mixed schools these would be seen as girly and would be socially difficult for boys to do. Certainly at (mixed) primary school the choir had no boys older than about 6, as the social pressure to leave was so strong.

First of all, unkind girls exist everywhere. A co-ed school doesn’t prevent this. I went to a mixed school and only a few girls hung around with boys and snogged them. A couple got pregnant. Not great for a grammar so be careful what you wish for. They had abortions.

Girls schools offer the space for girls to develop without being judged by boys. My DDs went to one and lots of the girls had brothers and male family friends so mixing with boys was not an issue. However it wasn’t daily and they have lifelong friends from school. They have lifelong male friends they didn’t go to school with. They also were not pushed into stem.

My DDs had matured beyond a lot of the boys from age 8 or 9 and found some highly irritating. They were never going to be friends. DDs only have friends from secondary age but that’s also because they didn’t go to a local school.

I tend to think some parents and cultures put pressure on to do well and seek out certain occupations. Mostly stem ones. My local garage owner was aghast DD was going to do MFLs. He thought she must do law or medicine - she did convert to law though. However we found non stem very much supported and drama, sport and music to be very good too.

First of all, unkind girls exist everywhere. A co-ed school doesn’t prevent this.

My thoughts entirely. I decided though that if she was at a girls school,the chances she makes some really good friends increases

The pool is deeper at a girls school so if you are in with a mean crowd or it doesn’t work out you have plenty of other friendship options.

If I could go back and change 1 thing from my childhood, it would be to NOT go to an all girls school. Both me and my sister left school having zero male friends or acquaintances. We had absolutely no idea how to act around boys, had no confidence when in their company. Neither of us had a proper boyfriend until our very late teens because we were too nervous/anxious to have a proper conversation with young men. I don't think it had any benefit yo our education either.

Neither of us had a proper boyfriend until our very late teens because we were too nervous/anxious to have a proper conversation with young men.

But I really don't see what the problem with not having a boyfriend until your late teens is? I went to a mixed grammar and (along with most of my friendship group) didn't have a boyfriend until university either, because we found the boys at school pretty immature and were more focused on academics. Right way round if you ask me, and I'd be delighted if DD took the same path!

@LesMisSaigon So no friends had brothers? No neighbours with boys? No visiting any activity with boys? Did you live with nuns? Maybe you just didn’t talk much? I’d say loads of girls do not have boyfrIends at 16. Huge numbers of my friends did not and DDs didn’t either. Uni is pretty normal. Plus boys are not a different species! They don’t have a different language.