Grammar schools are a good example.
Both of my children passed their 11+ and went to the grammar school.
We made choices so that could happen such as living in a grammar area and living in catchment of an great primary school. It wasn't the only factor on choosing where to live but was considered.
It's an entirely different conversation about why my children passed and many of their private school or more heavily tutored friends didn't.
However, I accept that is a very privileged education that everyone's taxes are paying for.
I accept that the system works incredibly well for us but harms others.
I am unrepentant of making the decision that was best for my children regardless of my political views.
Because I can't justify grammar schools on any level other than my own children benefit.
If Labour announced they were going to do away with them I'd be personally gutted but I couldn't tie myself in knots trying to argue that they were for the greater good.
This feels like the same issue. You are not a bad person for choosing what you think is best for your child. But accept it for what it is.